Past The Point of Pain

After unburdening my deepest secret to Him, I instantly felt relieved, and yet I also felt this deep tingle, the tingle of trepidation. Not a fear of Him, but a fear of myself and failing. I wasn’t sure that even though I had finally let go of the truth, if I was going to be able to allow myself to relax enough when and if the time ever came to face the boundary being pushed.

Master had me to climb onto His lap and He held me close, kissing me and soothing away the tears that slowly flowed over my cheeks. Those tears were like my body washing out all the pain I had held on to for way too long. Master’s kisses were warm and engulfed me with a sense of safety and love. We sat like that for the longest time, finally He said it was time for bed. We stood and holding hands walked down the hall to our room and prepared for sleep.

I turned down the bedding and picked up my nightshirt and was headed towards the bathroom, Master gently took hold of my wrist and took away the nightshirt I held, “little one, go on to the bathroom, do what you need to do, but you won’t be needing this tonight. Tonight I want to feel your body bared and open to me.”

I swallowed hard fighting back the instinctual panic that rushed through me. I almost had no breath as I whispered, “Yes, Sir.”

Master kissed my forehead and chuckled, “Hun, stop letting that vivid imagination of yours scare you, you have no idea what I want or even if I will do anything tonight about what you revealed to me. Now go, go pee, wash up and return to our bed.”

I shivered just slightly as I always do when I hear Him tell me to go and do things for Him. Sometimes during the day I might hear the familiar beep-beep of my cell phone alerting me that I have a text message and when I look I will find some innocent little directive like, ‘go potty for me’. No go to the bathroom and play, or anything sexual, just a simple, go potty. I think that is when a submissive knows that they are truly owned, when they find themselves following such a simple task without question. The first time He did this, I went, I didn’t necessarily have to go at the time, but I did anyway because it was what He had wished for. Afterwards I wondered why He sent me that message, and even though I can’t really say for sure why, I have come to the conclusion, “Because He can.” So I went to the bathroom, then I washed up and returned to our bed, without question.

As I stepped back into our room I saw Master was already in the bed, laying on His side with His head propped up on one hand, patting the spot next to Him with His other. “Come here little one, come to bed.”

I was suddenly nervous again, I love Him and yes, I trust Him. I trust Him with my body, with my mind, and I trust that He knows when it’s time to push limits and boundaries. But was I really ready? Was He even going to go there that night? I didn’t see anything but Him, no toys, at least not on this side of His body, who’s to say what He had behind His back. I bit my bottom lip, trust I told myself. Trust. I took a deep breath and got into the bed, turning my back and scooting up against Him. Master lifted His arm and placed it around my waist, pulling me even closer, spooning my body before I felt His hand move downward, stroking my hip and back up.

His hand glided upward slowly and softly till His fingers landed under my chin. A slight nudge towards Himself and I turned and tilted my face towards Him. His warm mouth covered mine as my body followed the turn of my head until our bodies were pressed tightly against each other.

Locked in a deep kiss Master’s fingertips trailed along my breasts, He lightly tweaked a nipple just enough to hear me moan softly. Moisture between my legs began to gather, my clit hardened and throbbed. I could feel how erect He was before He parted my legs and stroked softly the pussy that He owns completely.

Back and forth so agonizingly slow, making my breathe catch and my hips began to slowly move with His touch. I gasped as I felt two of His fingers enter me just as He broke our long kiss and took a nipple into His mouth and rolled His tongue over it, sucking until it felt swollen and began to ache with great need.

His lips felt so heavenly as He kissed down between each breast and over my stomach, I arched my back as His fingers curled deeper inside my pussy and His mouth clamped over my clit. Master sucked my clit in and out of His mouth, I felt it swelling as my nipple had done only a few mere minutes before. His fingers were sliding effortlessly in and out stroking hard against my g-spot. Just as I felt my orgasm becoming so overwhelming and I began to beg I felt one of His fingers leave the warmth of my pussy and laid against the entrance to my ass. I wanted to please Him, I wanted and needed desperately to cum but I knew if I asked permission I would be made to clarify exactly what it was I wanted. I tried with every ounce of strength I had to fight the orgasm back, but it was growing so intense with the pressure I felt from His finger laying against my ass.

Finally I couldn’t take anymore, “Please!” I gasped. “Please Sir, may I cum?” as I rolled my head back and forth and tried to scoot away from His fingers and mouth.

Master sat up slightly, taking His mouth from my throbbing clit, His thumb gently stroking it, “How does My little slut want to cum for her Master?” Wiggling His fingertip that was pressed tightly against the puckered hole of my ass.

“Ohhhhhh God please, please…please Sir, may I cum!” I begged again. The pressure of His finger on my ass, the tantalizing wiggling against my g-spot, the slow methodical stroking of /His thumb against my clit, I couldn’t help it any longer, I was going to need His permission or lose control and possibly face punishment for cumming without permission. My back arched again and my body instinctively pushed back against His fingers.

I felt the tip of the finger playing with my ass begin to enter, I stiffened but yet I moaned in pleasure. No more words were needed, Master had what He wanted, that low careening moan spoke volumes.

Master began stroking the fingers He had in my pussy and ass in and out, His thumb on my clit, my body was shaking as I tried to hold back and wait for the badly needed permission. He shifted and removed His one finger that was stroking my g-spot and joined it with the one inside my ass. Instinctively I raised my hips to meet His hand as His fingers slid in and then fell gently back against the bed as He withdrew them. I was allowed to cum as my hips rose again and He held me in mid air by sliding His other hand beneath me and lowered His face to my clit.

Gently He let me back down against the bed then He withdrew His fingers. I was watching Him smile down at me as I looked at Him framed between my open legs. His hands were resting on each of my knees which were now easing my legs back and His hard erect cock entered deeply inside my pussy in one fluid stroke. I was so wet and He slid in so very deep, He held Himself still before drawing back out, in and hold, and back out. He told me to cum at will.

I came so many times as He slowly fucked me that I could feel my own wetness flowing from me and running over my ass. Pulling from me I knew He was coated enough to probably enter me, but He still grabbed the lube from the nightstand and applied it not only to Himself but to me as well. I was holding my breath and biting my bottom lip as I watched His hand stroke Himself.

“Breathe little one, and trust. Trust me, I won’t hurt you, we will win over this fear together.”

I couldn’t help the impulse to stiffen, the resistance of my tight ass made me squirm as His cock slowly slid past the opening He paused till He felt me begin to relax. Caressing my face, He dried the tiny tears that managed to pool at the corners of my eyes.

Master was trying so hard to be as careful as He could, making sure to move slowly, and deeper little by little till He felt my tightness giving way gradually. I groaned at the painful burning sensation while He continued to enter me more, His hands moved to the insides of my thighs, pinning my legs wide open.

It seemed to take forever before I felt my Master fully inside of me when I did I moaned and fought the urge to squirm away. But when my Master heard that low soft moan He withdrew slowly until He was almost completely out, I sighed with relief. Then I felt Him just as gently as the first time, but not as slow, reenter me until He was once again buried deep. I moved slightly trying to accommodate the size of His cock, causing my muscles to contract around Him, almost like a milking sensation.

Master groaned as He felt my body reacting and opening up to take Him, That burning sensation began to subside and with my eyes locked with His I felt no fear. I was letting go of the past, the nonconsensual pain I remembered, and in it’s place I was finding a pleasure I had once lost, the tears changed, from fear of failing Him to those flowing freely from letting go.

My body relaxed more and I began to move my bottom in rhythm with His. Master’s hands eased their grip from holding my legs down and spread opened, I relaxed even more.

“Good girl.” I heard Him say and my entire world opened to Him as I heard those precious words of endearment.

Moving with a greater ease now Master began to fuck me faster. My breathing quickened, pain and pleasure making such a sweet mixture. Within minutes I was doing something I hate, I was begging, pleading for Him to fuck me harder. Master loves to hear me beg, almost as much as He loves my tears, this night He got both.

The pain mixed with intense pleasure was becoming more than I could handle, I felt myself begin to drift to that wonderful place only my Master can take me. I no longer knew if I could take anymore, all I knew was His voice, His touch, my voice was gone. It was like I had stepped outside of myself and was soaring somewhere above, floating on the sounds of Master’s voice. I was past the point of pain, pain of the past, and past the pain of the present. I don’t even remember when or even if my Master came with me or not. All I had was His soothing words and His loving touch.

My Master had taken me past the point of pain.