Sir Stephen's Confession
If my solicitor has released this transcript then you may be assured that ten years
have past since the last of those mentioned herein have past beyond the reach of mortal
justice.
I thought Rene a fool when he presented O to me. I thought him weak and
cowardly. I learned. O was my possession for but three and a half years. I possessed her
completely; and yet she could not be called my slave. She was always free to leave me. In
truth she worshipped me in that most ancient characterization of the word. She sought
only to become a worthy vessel for my desires. To that end she granted me her body, her
heart, her mind, and her soul all in the hopes that I would find her worthy... perchance to
love her.
I did love her of course. How could I not love one who gave of themselves so
completely and freely? In the beginning I imprudently thought that would be enough. Yet
nothing ever remains constant and as O became accustom to my peculiarities and
demands, her own requirements to demonstrate her worthiness grew. It was during our
first year together that I had a premonition of how it all would end. She had been the
focal point of a small gathering of friends, presented naked but for a bird mask and a
leash attached to the rings that adorned her nether lips. Afterward I used her before those
gathered, taking her bottom, as was my wont. As I pulled away from her, spent, she
whispered, in a voice so soft she could not know I heard; " I would die for you". I
responded unthinkingly "of course."
I will always regret that I did not respond more forcefully. Had I not been so
charmed by the sentiment I might have had her flogged on the spot for daring to think she
could escape me in such a manner. Still, I believe I realized her true desire long before
she did. In truth she was becoming somewhat despondent about the nature of our relation.
While she would never admit it, she desired to become a more central aspect of my life,
and that I could not allow. Some months later when she repeated her fatalistic musings
aloud, before some guests I was entertaining. I did in fact have her whipped, severely,
and told her in no uncertain terms that she would live; though she might dread it, for that
was my desire. I allowed that her death could only be an expression of her desertion.
When she spoke of it again I returned her to the chateau at Roissy and did not see her for
several months.
Our relationship was becoming strained. O returned and all was as before for a
few months and then, as my attention waned she began to bring up the forbidden topic.
Each time she became a little more serious about the prospect. One time in an act of near
rebellion she used my own words against me. I had often told her that she was free to
leave me at any time and she demanded to know the difference between her leaving me
or simply dying to show her devotion to me.
I was becoming cowardly, I sent her away for three months to the owner of a
Greek shipping line who shared my preferences. I only required that she not be marked in
any permanent way without my permission.
O did have one possession of a sort. Natalie, Jacqueline's half sister had become
my ward a short time before her eighteenth birthday and still lived under my protection.
She grew to be O's constant companion. She was allowed to watch everything but was
not permitted to participate. Under no circumstance was she to be touched by man or
whip. Beyond those conditions O was his to do with as he pleased and Natalie stood
witness.
O returned somewhat chastened and was a wonderful companion for six months.
It became necessary to take a weeklong trip to London. I left O with Natalie at my beach
house, as it was the beginning of August. When I returned O again spoke of her desire to
die for me, as proof of her eternal love. I did not flog her I merely sent her away. This
time O went to Singapore where she served in a rather infamous house of prostitution,
again Natalie accompanied her with the same restrictions. They requested that O's
nipples be pierced and fitted with rings and I acquiesced. O returned with considerably
enhanced oral skills, and eagerly showed me all that she had learned. She had become
subtler in her approaching the subject of her obsession. Some months after her return she
mentioned in passing her newfound experience in the erotic aspects of partial
asphyxiation. I did not let this pass. O was returned to Roissy but this time she was
locked in a cell in total isolation.
I was of two minds. I wished to present O with a prospect so terrifying that the
shock and horror might shake her resolve and would force her to abandon her desire.
Then again the thought of O tormented even unto death did arose some of my more
prurient interests. Anne Marie was the one who suggested crucifixion. I was quite
intrigue by the idea, as it would indeed fulfil both my requirements. Anne Marie was
quite excited by the possibility and studied the matter at some length. For the first time in
our association I remained passive allowing O to gain control over the demise of our
relationship.
Women who were not in training or for use of the members were rarely allowed
at the chateau. None the less Anne Marie and Natalie were allowed to accompany me as
guests, when I arrived four weeks later.
I approached O's cell with trepidation. The cell door was locked and O crouched
in the far corner. She was blindfolded with her wrists cuffs secured behind her back. A
chain attached to her collar prevented her from moving more than a few feet and she had
been eating bent over a large flat bowl, not unlike a domestic animal. When I spoke it
was the first human voice O had heard for nearly a month. "O, I will allow it." I declared.
She thanked me. I described in cold, harsh, detail how she would be lead from this cell on
the morrow to the garden where she would be stripped, flogged, and then nailed to a
cross. Even in the dim light I could see O's complexion blanch. She uttered a single
word, "sacrilege". For a brief moment I struggled between hope and disappointment.
Hope that the shock and fear had dissuaded O and the regret that I might not see the
spectacle of her writhing upon a cross. O swallowed twice and said in a timid voice, " I
would ask but one favor Sir". "What?" I asked harshly. "Will you take me once more
before I die?" I ignored her request. I went on to described as best I could the long slow
painful death that awaited her. I reminded her that with a mere word she could prevent it
and all would be as before. She said nothing and so I informed her that the three valets
who would carry out her execution would spend the night with her. She was to treat them
as she would myself. Anne Marie entered the cell and had O lie stretched out upon the
floor. With measuring tape she determined O's height and the distance from hip to toe
when her knees were bent as well as straightened. She kissed O upon the cheek and said,
"You will be magnificent!" O was in tears as we left the cell. The valets entered eagerly
as we departed
The morning dawned clear with an Autumnal chill in the air The garden had been
prepared with lawn chairs and tables on which a buffet would later be served. A single
rough-hewn post of some 2 meters height stood in the center. Thirty-two members and
their attendant females were present, though we had invited more than fifty. Coffee, tea,
and pastries were served and the idle chatter belied the gravity of the event we were about
to witness
It was almost eleven when O was brought into the garden. She was pale and
shivering, beneath her cape She was lead by a leather leash attached to the ring upon her
leather collar. Her wrist and ankles were adorned with leather cuffs and her arms were
bound behind her back with her cape draped over her shoulders. She moved as if in a
trance blinking in the midday light.
I sat before the upright post. Anne Marie had directed its construction. A six-inch
square block of wood had been split diagonally and one piece had been nailed about a
foot off the ground to serve as a footrest. The second piece was yet to be attached. It
would serve as a seat or "saddle" according to Anne Marie. It allowed the victim to rest
in her struggles and prolonged the suffering "sometimes for days" Anne Marie had said
almost gleefully. A mortise joint had been carved into the top of the post that the
crossbeam would fit into snuggly. The crossbeam lay on the ground directly before the
upright.
O was brought before me and knelt. "You may end this now," I said to her. She
bent forward and kissed my thigh "Please Sir, may we get on with it." She said in a
barely audible whisper. I stood and addressed the gathering "This is O." I began, "She
wishes to make the ultimate demonstration of her devotion to me. She will now be
stripped of all her accoutrements, receive the traditional forty lashes less one, and then be
nailed to this cross where she would hang until she is dead." I continued, " I have
consented to allow this and hope all will stay to enjoy this unusual display of devotion."
The valets helped her to her feet and lead her to the upright. They removed her cape,
collar and the leather cuffs, from her wrists and ankles. As two of them supported her on
either side the third knelt before her and pushed her legs apart. He used a small bolt cutter
to open the rings that dangled from her sex and used a smaller wire cutter to remove the
hoops that adorned her nipples. These were solemnly returned to me and I clutched them
in my right hand. O was truly naked now stripped of all that marked her as mine, the
brand remained but there was little that could be done about that.
O's wrists were fastened to the upright post with coarse ropes. I signaled for the
whipping to begin and a valet took up position behind her. I had chosen a long braided
leather whip and the valet applied enough force to mark her but not break the skin. She
received thirteen blows to the left shoulder thirteen to the right, and the remaining
thirteen across the buttocks and upper thighs. She sobbed quietly but did not scream or
call out. I was quite proud of her. The valets cut her down and she sank to the ground
next to the crossbeam.
I snapped my fingers and Natalie hurried forward with a drink that had been
prepared for O. I held the cup to her lips myself and demanded that she drink it all. It was
a red wine mixed with a mild opiate and she gagged at the taste but dutifully drank it to
the dregs. "You need not do this." I said for the last time. "Please." was her only reply.
O was again helped to her feet, but only so that she might be positioned upon the
crossbeam. As the Valets lay her down gently before the upright she groaned as her
freshly flogged back came to rest on the dry prickly grass. Two valets held her arms
widely outstretched upon the beam while the third drew a spike from his apron and
slipped a large metal washer over it. He picked up his hammer and began probing her left
wrist searching for the hollow between the bones. O was staring at him and did not see
me approach. With a nudge of my foot I opened her legs and knelt between them. She
snapped her head toward me with a look of surprise and delight. She sighed contentedly
as I entered her bringing my full weight down upon her. When I had penetrated her
completely I remained motionless. With a nod of my head the hammer rose and fell.
There was a sharp metallic clang as the hammer struck the nail followed by O's
anguished scream. Her hips bucked and churned beneath me but I pressed my full weight
down so I could not be dislodged. Five more blows seated the washer firmly against her
wrist. The Valet crossed over to her right side. Tears were streaming down O's cheeks as
she gulped for air. I leaned forward and covered her mouth with mine. As the spike was
driven into her right wrist her muffled screams filled my lungs. Then it was done; O was
affixed to the crossbeam. We lay together O's arms forever open and outstretched and I
deeply buried within her. Still I did not move. The spasms of pain shooting through her
body caused her sex clasp at my member with each beat of her heart. All too quickly I
spilled my seed into her womb, O, feeling my discharge looked up at me through
tearstained eyes and said, "Thank you, Stephen."
I am not proud of what happened next. Frustration, rage, and the fact that I had
lost all control over the conclusion of our relationship clouded my thoughts. Though I
had just spent my seed my rage reinvigorated me as I withdrew from her womb. I
grabbed her ankles and drew them up onto my shoulders pushing her knees back against
her breasts. I entered her upturned bottom with enough force to elicit a loud shriek from
her. O's screams grew louder and more urgent as my frantic motion jarred her wounded
wrists. I ignored them and continued to pound into her with a relentless force until I spent
a second time. As I rose from O's body she was whimpering. There was a smattering of
applause from some of those gathered but I ignored it and turning my back on O
stomping back to my chair.
I sat and faced the cross. O lay gasping beneath the upright post, her outstretched
arms pinioned to the rough wood and her empty hands clutching the air in spasms,
grasping nothing but pain. Anne Marie took charge of the final preparations. She
produced a foot long slightly curved rod. The top eight inches of it was encased in
smooth black leather and the lower portion was a plain wooden dowel. She pressed the
tip to O's lips and O kissed it. Anne Marie then slipped the bare wooden end into a hole
drilled into the saddle. A simple peg secured it in place. She then handed the assembly to
a Valet who nailed it into a previously marked position on the upright post. Anne Marie
turned back to O. She patted O on the forehead speaking in a tone one usually reserves
for a reticent child. O's sobbing slowed and she drew long calming breaths. Anne Marie
gently raised O's legs once more exposing her upturned bottom. Anne Marie's girl
Colette applied oil to the opening I had so recently ravaged. Anne Marie continued to
speak calming words as she stroked O. Once Collete had finished O's legs were released.
Anne Marie told O to be brave, as the next phase of the crucifixion would be quite
painful. Two of the valets each took an end of the crossbeam and began to slowly lift.
The third Valet helped O to her feet. The effort was not perfectly coordinated and O
screamed out each time her impaled wrist were pulled or jolted. She was sobbing
uncontrollably by the time she was standing with her back to the upright. The two valets
strained to lift the crosspiece over the top of the upright while the third supported O's
hips. O shrieked in agony as the crosspiece was wrestled into position and then dropped
into place. While one man held the crossbeam steady the other went behind the cross and
slid several pins into place securing the beam in position. The one who had been holding
O's hips now raised her up over the protruding leather encased shaft. He held her bottom
cheeks open as O slid down onto the rod. O was screaming and pleading as the two men
who had set the crosspiece hurried to help their partner. They caught O's flailing feet and
pulled them up onto the footrest. O began to struggle in earnest once her feet had some
purchase. She bolted upright screaming as the nail entered her left foot and lost control of
her bladder spraying urine on the men below. They quickly pounded home the last two
nails. .
The men stepped away as O struggled vainly to free herself. O rose up on her
bleeding feet to scream and beg and plead for release until her shaking legs collapsed
under her and she slumped back down onto the seat. She hung there a blood splattered
torso with urine and semen drying on her inner thighs, and cried until her breath was
coming in short panting gasps and then rose up once more to scream. Anne Marie had
measured the position of the seat perfectly. It was low enough upon the upright so that
O's wrist were pulled taunt when her weight was fully on the seat, yet it was not so low
as to let O dislodge the shaft when she pulled herself erect. The very struggle for breath
perpetuated the tireless rape of her bowels. It was indeed the most dreadful and degrading
torment I will ever witness. Several of the guests retreated into the chateau. Those women
who attended us tried to look away.
O had never derived any pleasure from pain. I would have little use for such a
woman. Rather O had always prided herself in enduring what pain I choose to inflict.
Over the course of a half-hour, few dozen struggling breaths, O began an unlikely
transformation. The tears dried and her screams faded to gentle whimpers. She no longer
begged or pleaded but seemed to accept her pain filled fate. Serenity engulfed her as she
committed herself to a struggled that could only prolong her death. Where at first she had
fought now she seemed to accept her lot with a simple dignity that is impossible to
explain. She now moved with a smooth fluidness of a dancer performing upon her cross.
She would slide down onto the saddle and hang from her wrists with her legs bent to the
right .In this position she could inhale but had great difficulty expelling a breath.
Eventually her breathing came only in short labored gasps. Them with only the mildest
whimper she slowly began to push herself up straightening her legs. When she was fully
erect she expelled what air was in her lungs and quickly took great gulping breaths, but as
her legs began to tremble she again slip down until she was hanging once more from her
wrists and the shaft that impaled her bottom. O's struggles captivated everyone for the
longest time. We all remained silent and motionless drinking in her brave agony.
I was unaware that O's blood had splattered my face and neck as her wrists had
been nailed. Natalie who had been sitting on the grass next to my chair noticed this and
retrieved a napkin and water glass from the buffet table. She moistened the napkin and
began to wash the drying blood from my skin. I was somewhat startled, as I had never
allowed Natalie to be so familiar with me. When she knelt between my legs and began to
cleanse my manhood I stayed her hand. She gave me a puzzled look then glanced then
down at my stirring member. She bent forward, kissed the tip and looked up with a grin. "
Would you let me clean her?" she asked glancing over her shoulder at O. I pushed her
away and nodded. Natalie hastened over to attend her mistress. In truth O barely bleed as
the flesh around the nails had swollen. While there was very little blood oozing from her
wounds O too had been splattered with blood while being affixed to her cross. Natalie
offered O a drink of water, which O accepted in silence. She moistened the napkin and
she gently dabbed away the blood and that which still trickled from O's wrists and feet.
She then set about washing away the urine and seamen that had dried along O's inner
thighs. Satisfied Natalie took up a position kneeling at the side of O's cross. There she
remained.
Natalie's simple act of compassion broke the trance that had bound us all.
Conversation resumed, groups of people wandered to the tables to eat while others
pushed forward to get a closer look at O's pain wracked body. Some desired to touch O.
Men who had brutally whipped her and used her in every imaginable way in the past now
stroked her body with gentle reverence. . Eventually most came to accept O as an
ornament of sorts. A living, dying, trembling, display that moved slowly upon her cross
straining upward only to collapse down a few endless seconds later in a fitful, doomed
struggle for breath. Men continued to approach in groups of two or three, stroking or
kissing her breasts, caressing her smooth hairless mound, or even letting a finger slip into
her sex. There was none of the coarse chatter however, they spoke in hushed tones and
seemed in awe of the ritual of pain that had become O's sacrifice. For O's part she
accepted it all with silent dignity, looking down demurely when others touched or probed
her. The seriousness of the situation seemed to make even the most hardened of them
uncomfortable. By the time the sun hung low on the horizon most of the members had in
fact lost interest and sought the warmth of the chateau.
Natalie, Anne Marie and I remained. Oil fueled torches were lit as darkness fell.
O was weakening as the night air chilled and her body shook uncontrollably when she
rested on her saddle. Anne Marie and I were served dinner in the garden and directed that
coal fired braziers be set out for warmth and we allowed two to be set close to the cross
for Natalie's comfort and any warmth O's naked body might glean. By Midnight Anne
Marie was openly wondering when O might have the courtesy to die so we might all get
some rest. If O heard the complaints she ignored them pressing on with her valiant
ceaseless dance upon the cross. Anne Marie finally deserted us an hour later. By then O
was shivering and shaking so severely that she could barely rise for her next breath.
Natalie was nodding in and out of wakefulness. I prepared a second mixture of wine and
opiate perhaps to hasten O's end or at least add some measure of comfort. Natalie held it
to O's lips but she was barely able to swallow and most of the mixture dribbled down her
chin.
The drug did not have its intended effect and instead reinvigorated O's efforts for
a brief time. The tremors and shaking lessened and O continued her futile dance.
Eventually the pace of O's movement slackened and as she spent more and more time
upon the seat. Natalie knelt before O's cross. She began to kiss and caress O with her lips
and O ceased to struggle. A shudder ran through her body, her head slumped forward,
lolling on her chest. I was sure she had finally expired. As I helped Natalie to her feet O
suddenly rose up one final time. Her eyes opened wide as she spoke, not to me, but to
Natalie. "He... is ... for you." Were O's final words.
O was buried in the garden where she died. A rose bed marks her grave. Natalie
entered training at the chateau and became my lifelong companion. The 'story of O' was
published five years after her death and I always suspected Natalie was the author. She
denies this and it may well be the only time she has lied to me. She has been of course
punished for that indiscretion. Forgiveness will wait.
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