I dont have to make usual "fiction" disclaimers for this story. I havent edited
it because for me its appeal partly lies in that it was written by a 17 year
old who had no idea it would be one day posted for anyone to read. ( *smiles*-
its ok I have her permission)
My first Sauna
Sarah and I had been lovers for 6 weeks. She was 31, some 14 years older than I
and though it never bothered me it seemed to be something she had trouble with
from time to time. It was my first serious love affair since I had discovered I
was bisexual. I had dated guys but until I met Sarah I had never been in love.
During that time I learned many things about myself, some good - some bad. I
also found out I had much more to learn! Sarah was forever testing and teasing
me and introduced me to a life style I had been previously unaware of. I
absolutely adored her -I mean the melting, flooding, mind blowing feeling that
fills your heart makes your belly ache and your legs go weak- literally. My
whole sexual/emotional life revolved around her.
I lived on the edge of uncertainty ; never totally sure of her love for me which
often seemed conditional on my submitting to what she wanted but I was reluctant
to surrender the last vestige of my new found semi- independence. It would have
been simple to just give in all the time but I felt deep down that for anyone to
love me I had to preserve something of myself. This was always a battle for me-
with myself- part of me wanted to just submit. Submit like I dreamt of in my
fantasies. Give myself utterly and totally as a submissive. But then what would
be left of me?
Sarah and I met twice a week and sometimes at weekends when I could get away
as I still lived at home. She was a secret part of my life . I am an only child
and my parents are very strict catholics. I know I should have been braver- I
was almost 18 after all but I didnt deal well with confrontions. I was due to go
to Uni hopefully so I was biding my time till I had just myself to answer to.
We never dated on a Friday. When I first met her she knew that Fridays were my
one real night out. Usually clubbing with friends or parties after college.
Sarah never pressurised me to see her on a Friday and I always liked that and
hugged to myself the thought that she was respecting my space and trusted me. I
know she hated me clubbing, was always wittering on about the drug scene,
despite my assurances that we knew what we were doing and were careful. I often
begged her to come with us - she always refused. We had a particularly bad fight
one evening over something stupid. I was in the wrong and apologised and as a
gesture of conciliation I said I could be with her next Friday evening instead
of going clubbing.
She said "No pet I am busy" . I was hurt, and answered "Ok then I will give
up any of my Fridays for you as I know you have been understanding and not
insisted on us meeting on a Friday before". She laughed " Not seeing you on a
Friday suits me pet, I am always busy on a Friday". She went on to tell me she
went to a fitness centre every Friday evening. I looked puzzled; Sarah wasn't a
fitness freak. She said she was a member of a Sauna club. I thought at first she
meant "Oasis" in Town, it's a well known ladies' sauna, massage and health spa.
It is expensive and very well known, lots of celebrities go there and she had
promised we would go there for the day sometime as a special treat. I thought
and hoped she would take me on my 18th!
She shook her head and said 'No it's a sauna Club for Women only every Friday".
I asked if I might go with her one Friday. She said, "Not until you start to act
more like an adult". That was that. I was hurt not only at the criticism but
also that she had let me believe that not seeing me on a Friday was for my sake,
but I kept it to myself. Some weeks later out of the blue Sarah said I could
come to the sauna with her the following Friday. I had the sense not to ask why
the change of mind. I just smiled, hugged her and accepted gladly.
That then is the background to the following which I still live in my mind as
if it were happening all over again. I am writing it down, just as I remember
it!
-------------------------------------------------------
I hurry home from school this Friday evening. Don't stay to hang out with
students, telling my folks I was going straight to friend's house and staying
late. Claire has agreed to cover for me as usual. Cycle to Sarah's. We have a
light supper and Sarah drives us to West Kensington near the High Street. She
parks outside a rather dingy looking building. The poster outside advertises it
as a gym, dance studio and fitness centre. My heart sinks a bit as we approach,
it looks grungy but once inside it is actually quite tastefully decorated. Sarah
signs me in It's Members and their guests apparently. I giggle, thinking
"That means she is responsible for my behaviousr I guess". Sarah looks at me a
little sharply and I straighten my face quickly. I am excited and nervous and
thats usually when my inane sense of humour that so annoys her, surfaces. I
scold myself mentally, determined to act mature. I know tonight is 'special', a
watershed in our relationship and I am determined to behave sensibly.
We go through the door marked *Sauna *. She points out the steps to the gym on
the first floor and door to the boilers in the basement. The sauna which is on
the ground floor opens 6 days a week but Friday is* Ladies only* till noon on
Saturday. Sarah says there are dormitories there and it's possible to stay the
night, very convenient if one is too tired or drunk to drive home, particularly
for people who lived in the suburbs after a night out in town. I also guess it's
convenient in other ways but I just smile and nod attentively wondering if I
will ever get the chance to stay with her overnight.
We go into a side room, which has showers, toilets and lockers. There are piles
of clean towels and flip-flops. Sarah says to use flip-flops in case of
verrucas. I strip off and wrap a towel round me tucking it under my armpits. I
stick my clothes in the locker, dropped in the £1 coin and slide the rubber band
with the key round my slender wrist. Sarah tells me to take off my gold neck
chain as it would burn me in the sauna. I deposit that in the locker as well
and we go into the showers. There are only a couple of other women around. Sarah
helps to pin my long brown hair up out of the way and we sluice ourselves
down. Sarah's hair is auburn and cropped quite short. She says not to bother
drying so I tuck my towel round me as before. I notice Sarah gives me a funny
look as she just wraps the towel round her waist leaving her lovely large
breasts free but I am embarassed about my small breasts. So they get covered!
I follow her out to the main room, water still gleaming on our bare skin. She
is about 3 inches taller than my 5ft 3 and I love watching the sway of her hips
under the towel. She is well built and considerably heavier than my 7 stone
4lbs. It is hushed with subdued lighting and the softest of music playing.
Occasional low tables, each in a pool of light from brass lamps with red
brocaded shades, easy chairs arranged informally.. Sarah explains it is the
quiet area, where people just sit and read or relax either before or after a
sauna. There are more women here, some reading, and some just dozing. Some have
street clothes on others just towels or robes. There are water coolers and a
juice bar along one side of the wall. Against the far wall is a large pine cabin
stretching almost the length of the wall and I follow Sarah in through the
narrow sauna door.
The heat is tremendous and I catch my breath as the hot dry air sears my
throat. To the right a guarded black charcoal stove and pails of water and
ladles. The heat is intense. I start sweating profusely. The long narrow cabin
has 4 tiers of wooden slatted seats against the back wall. Sarah has already
explained that the higher the tier the hotter it is. There is only one a dim
light above the benches and there are 4 other women there.They all look
considerably older then me. Sarah seems to know them. As she stops to talk I
move down the narrow aisle towards the empty end and sit on the middle tier. I
jump a bit as the wood is very hot and tug my towel down under me to protect my
thighs. I sit for a while with the perspiration running off me. I look back at
Sarah and the women but they ignore me.
From time to time one of the women throws some water on the stove, there's a
huge- HISS -and the temperature seems to rocket. I notice that they have
spread their towels on the benches and are sitting naked as they chat . I try
not to stare at them focusssing my gaze on the bare pine wall in front of me.
This is not going as I expect . Eventually Sarah moves towards the end where I
am and introduces me rather sarcastically by saying " Oh by the way the trussed
up chicken at the end here is pippa".
I feel really embarrassed and could throttle her. I had thought to take off my
towel as I still have it wrapped round my breasts and middle, as by now I am
very very hot, but her remark makes me mad and I feel I can't react to her sarcy
comment. My heart drops a bit. I thought Sarah would be more affectionate and
caring as it's my first visit. I notice from time to time one of the women go
outside briefly and bring back some small sodden towels dripping with water and
each woman takes one. I am also handed one, it is freezing cold. I try not to
stare at the naked breasts of the woman who gives it to me. She says "Put it on
the back of your neck, dear it will help you stand the heat". I am strongly
tempted to tell her "Yes I know that's where the hypothalamus gland is that
controls body temperatures" but I just smile sweetly and say "Thank you". I am
feeling really rotten and wish I had never come, Sarah is behaving like a bitch
. I sit next to her trembling with anger and avoiding any contact. I am seething
inside, disappointed that my so longed for evening is being spoiled by Sarah's
indifferent atitude.
20 minutes or so passes. Well maybe not as long as that, but it feels like it. I
feel I can't stand the heat anymore. My throat is really sore and my body is
beaded with sweat. Sarah says I should breathe shallowly through my mouth and
that helps a bit. She keeps pressing her hands on herself and scraping off the
sweat. She turns to me to do the same and I shake my head and do it myself. I am
determined to stay at least as long as she does- still smarting about the
"trussed chicken" remark. I know I am being ungrateful but I feel my
resentment bubbling inside me. Sarah then gets up and says she is off to the
dungeon! I don't know what she means but indicate I will stay a while longer and
she leaves. I immediately get up and slip off my towel and spread it on the hot
wood and sit on it tucking the ends over my thighs covering my lower abdomen. No
one takes any notice and I sit there in silence for what seems like ages.
Eventually I can't stand the heat anymore, get up and holding the towel casually
against me, slip my flip flops back on and leave. "God this is boring " I
mutter to myself.
Once outside I slip off the towel and flipflops and jump in the plunge pool. I
gasp out loud and feel I am going to have a heart attack. The water is freezing
and I feel my skin puckering and my nipples go hard. Then it feels wonderful
and I splash around for a while. I go and get a clean towel and dry off a bit
and go and sit down on one of the benches. I feel really good, my bad temper
dissipated; the shock of the cold water has really invigorated me. I look round
and notice the place getting fuller and am pleased to see several other girls
nearer my own age but no sign of Sarah. I sit quietly with the towel wrapped
round me. I feel a twinge of regret at being so rude and I decide to find her
and make amends. When my breathing returns to normal I get up determined to find
her. I see another curtained doorway and peek through. The room beyond is very
dimly lit and as I step down into it I wond if this is the "Dungeon" Sarah
referred to. There are some wooden benches but no tables or chairs just another
pine log cabin. I pad to the small window in the door but it looks very dark
inside and I can't see anything. I decide, as I am an expert on saunas now (ha
ha) to go in on my own. I pull the door open and stand just inside peering in.
I hear an exasperated voice shout out " Shut the bloody door" and I hastily pull
it closed behind me as I step inside
I notice three things almost simultaneously; it isn't as hot as I'd expected;
it is almost pitch black and there are the most peculiar sounds. I don't know
what to do, I stand there hesitantly my towel now clutched semi modestly round
my hips. The noises are very obvious now as though being in the dark accentuates
them. Slithering, softly moaning, wet sounding noises, people whispering. It
isn't difficult to work out what that means. I take a deep breath, the air is
warm and humid but doesnt burn my throat. I am determined to explore and find
Sarah. I am nervous though, my heart is pounding, shaking my sweat covered
body.
My eyes are getting used to the darkness a little with only a faint glimer of
light through the small door window. No internal light here I realise. I can
make out vague shapes sitting and lying on the benches that stretch to the back
of the large cabin to my right. I decide I can't turn round and leave straight
away so I slowly pad down the narrow aisle between the pine wall and the
benches to the end of the cabin where it looks empty. I keep my eyes fixed
forward but am aware of bodies on the benches. As I move towards the end I
brush against bare legs and feet and feel the stray hand touching my towel
covered thighs as I pass. Part of me wants to stop and let the hands explore
me. I shiver and grope my way to an empty space. I sit quickly on the second
tier, unwrap my now damp towel, spread it on bench and sitting down pull the
ends across my lap just covering my mons.. I can still hear the noises of
flesh slithering against wet flesh, breathless mutterings and sighing moans. I
feel a quick stab of excitement, as the thick humid darkness wraps itself round
me. I breath shallowly through my parted lips wondering where Sarah is, longing
for her to come and get me.
After a little while I relax, the heat is pleasant and bearable and the
knowledge of what is going on around mades me feel horny and adventurous. I
stretch my legs out and lean back against the edge of the top rack behind me.
Knowing that no one can see I pull the towel off my lap and slip my hand between
my thighs and start gently stroking my labia lips, index finger circling my
little bean. Its intensely exciting, stroking my slit in public but masked by
the darkness.
Suddenly I am aware of someone sitting down on the tier below me and to my left,
I feel a warm firm pressure against the side of my lower leg. Catching my
breath I stay still, telling myself "Don't move". I can make out a vague outline
and realise a shoulder is leaning against the side of my knee. I sit transfixed,
holding my breath, then feel the shoulder pressing a little harder against me. I
keep still for a second and then press back. Then the shoulder starts moving
more, up and down, gently rubbing the side of my knee. Now I am really having
trouble controlling my breathing. My sex is very moist, not just from sweat,
there is a warm feeling spreading down from my belly centred between my thighs.
I am very aroused from my stroking and the heavy sensuous atmosphere. I take my
hand from between my thighs and place it on the wooden slats.
I sit motionless holding my breath. I then feel fingers gently stroking my toes
They slip my flipflops off, then slowly moving up to stroke my calf. I press
my leg harder against the hand, welcoming the deliciously sensual feel of an
anonymous hand touching me and knowing it is not going to end there. I feel so
excited, my heart is pumping so hard and I struggle to breathe as my throat
tightens.
Suddenly I am aware of someone else above me on the top tier. Her feet are
resting on my bench. I feel a knee pressing against my left shoulder. I press
back, moving my shoulder up and down as the hand below stroking my leg slowly
creeps up past my knee. Suddenly a bulk moves across in front of my face as the
leg against my left shoulder shifts and I realise that the person above has
stood up, turned and placed her left leg the other side of me on my bench,
straddling me, blocking out what little light there is. She isn't touching me
yet , just standing facing the back cabin wall right in front of my face, legs
either side of me so that my face is level with her lower belly. I feel her bend
forward and hands softly stroke my face pulling it slowly towards her.I am
excited and a little nervous. I suck in deep breaths of warm air.
Meanwhile the hands below have reached my thighs and are stroking them with
hard flexed fingers raking the sweat. They dig into my tender wet flesh
possessively. I shiver and spread my legs wider. The hands on my face press me
against the belly in front of me and I flick out my tongue and start licking the
sweaty skin, tasting the salt.There is no sound except soft panting, soft moans
and sucking. Everything seems to be happening in slow motion. Almost as if
choreographed.
Hands move to the back of my head and slowly press my mouth hard against the
sweaty flesh - the hands below grasp my legs at the ankles and my legs are
spread wider and pulled forward so that I am balanced legs splayed wide on the
edge of the bench. The movement has lowered my head and now my mouth is pressed
against the unknown woman's vulva and she starts to grind it against my lips and
tongue. Between my splayed thighs a warm wet mouth fastens on my labia
lips.Covering it in warm wetness. I moan as it starts to suck and lave my
slit, a tongue slides between my slick lips probing my sex. Teeth gently
nibbling round my swollen throbbing beanbud. I feel the slow wet pulse of my sex
between my thighs. Fingers peel back my tight outer lips. Moaning softly I
thrust my tongue into the fleshy wet opening before me, hungrily licking and
sucking. Strong hands grasp my legs just below my knees and push them up and I
gasp into the wet flesh crushed against my mouth. My legs are bent back till my
knees touch the back of the woman stradling me. I feel so exposed and
vulnerable. Only the lower half of my back is now on the bench below.
It's hard to describe the wildness I am feeling-the anonymity of the dark, the
warmth of the sauna, the wet slurping sounds. The mixture of fear and excitement
are intoxicating. I feel hands on my breasts between my wide spread thighs that
are crushed back by the hands gripping into the soft flesh of the inside of my
legs. The hands knead my breasts roughly, then fingers are pulling and pinching
my nipples- I have absolutely no idea whose they are nor do I care, my heart is
pounding shaking my entire body. I have never felt so helpless as I am held,
hands pressing my face to the belly in front of me, pinned by her legs that
straddle my upper body. Other hands and a mouth busy between my widespread
thighs. My only thought is to give the unknown delicious tasting flesh filling
my mouth as much pleasure as I am experiencing. I gobble at the wet flesh
filling my mouth. I slide my tongue inside, my jaw achingas I open my mouth
wide. She tastes slightly acrid. I realise its her soup and I lick furiously
savouring the taste of her juices in my mouth.
I squirm as my achingly erect nipples are pinched and squeezed, the mouth
below sucking and licking my slit .. teeth gently nipping my clit sending shock
waves through me.. I start to scream as I feel my spasms starting, the hand at
the back of my neck jams my mouth harder into the sopping wet cunny muffling my
shrieks. My legs are forced higher from under my knees, raising my bottom,
almost lifting me off the hard bench. A finger presses against the tight anal
entrance to my rectum. I shudder and shake, my feet drumming against the back
of the woman who is feasting on my cunt. It is so mind-blowingly exciting. I
am starting to lose control completely. My tummy lurches, I feel my terror and
excitement mounting . Then I arch upwards almost choking as my orgasm shudders
through me. I almost pass out from the violence of my reaction and the heat. I
want it to stop now.. this is as far as I go, twist my head to the side, sweat
pouring down my face, squirming to free my legs. I push hard with my hands
against the body pressing against my mouth. I can't breathe.My arms flail
wildly.
The hands at my neck jam my mouth harder against the hot wet lips as she twists
her hips, grinding against me, smearing her thick labia lips and juices against
my mouth. I am almost choking fighting for breath. Hands catch my flailing
arms under the elbows and I am pinioned. The finger at my anus forces itself
inside my secret place and I feel my sphincter forced open. The finger starts
slowly massaging inside my bum. Slowly the soreness there melts into hotness. A
mouth and tongue still biting and sucking my lips and clit. They are both
extremely sore. Tears streaming down my face, body racked with my sobbing, I
fight to release myself. It 's no longer exciting or sexy I can't breath and am
frightened I am going to be really hurt. The hands holding my elbows and thighs
tighten even more. The slit against my mouth spasms again. I can hear the women
panting . A flood of warm stickiness slides into my mouth and trickles down my
chin. My own cunt, breasts and arse are so sore from misuse. Just as I think I
am going to pass out, a sudden stab of the most intense sexual feeling snakes
through me. I gasp in astonishment. My whole body arches again, muscles
straining as if on the crest of an impossibly high wave, poised and suspended
for ages, my senses spinning and then I plunge down the wave shuddering and
whimpering as I feel myself spurting uncontrollably into the anonymous mouth
feasting on my sex.
The hands holding my elbows and thighs relax a little and the pressure at the
back of my neck slackens. I slump down against the hard bench totally spent,
making little mewling noises. I push hard now fighting to get away. I squirm
and wriggle. I hate being touched after I have cum.
Then the hands tighten again. I am in a state of absolute panic. I am forced
open and held as before. The finger deep in my rectum hurts as it starts moving
again.. I am desperate now. I want this to stop. I open my mouth to scream and
the hand at my neck squashes my mouth against wet flesh, muffling my cries for
help. I panic more , fighting to breathe frightened I am going to be suffocated.
Then I feel my anus growing hotter and hotter as the finger inside massages the
sphincter again probing and twisting. I try to move away from the insidiously
probing finger-its hurting bad now, I want it to stop, fighting to free myself.
I am frightened that I am going to shit as I have no control over myself. I
fleetingly pray she has cut her fingernails. Knowing hands hold me and the
finger proves deeper and faster. I grunt as a second finger slides easily
alongside the first and I shudder as my back passage is stretched wider. The
thick fingers plunge deeper, twisting and turning as they rape my virgin bottom.
I am frantic with fear of being really badly hurt. I cant understand why no one
is coming to help me - getting them to stop? My struggles grow weaker, face tear
streaked. The realisation that stuggling only makes it hurt more slowly dawns on
me- the knowledge that its not going to stop till the women decide. I swallow
and slowly stop fighting. Its making it worse struggling. My brain is in
turmoil but I can't resist I realise. I try and relax praying for it to end. I
realise they are not finished with me and I am helpless.Tears flowing down my
cheeks. Whimpering softly I give in. As I finally accept the inevitable I grunt
in surprise as I feel a wash of delicious abandonment flood through me.
Slowly I raise my hips as the hands pinning my legs back relax a little as if
sensing my submission. I make my intimate passage easier to access, stretching
my legs higher and wider, surrendering to the fingers probing me. I grunt like a
wild animal no longer rational. I push my soaking throbbing sore slit against a
mouth, hard teeth press against my inner lips and my swollen sore bean. Now I
want to be hurt. The almost unbearable hurt triggers such wildness in me- I am
lost in a maelstrom of pleasure and pain. My lips are drawn back against my
teeth in a snarl. The hand at my neck grips tight once more, squeezes so hard,
brutally forcing my wet snarling mouth back against the soft wet vulva that
grinds remorselessly against me again.
The hands holding my arms release them, go back to my breasts, pinching the
nipples harder than before. I wrap my freed arms round the sweaty body
stradling me clutching her sweat soaked hips. I jerk violently and start
sucking furiously at the lips and clit against my mouth, screaming silently -"no
no .. this is not possible" ... another wave of such exquisite pleasure combined
with pain shakes my whole body. My mouth and chin are smeared with sweat and
juices, my scalp is tingling, heart hammering, mind lost somewhere beyond
reason. Every inch of my body from my head to my toes is shaking and sweating,
squirming on the hard bench ..all my senses overwhelmed. I gasp again suddenly,
body arched in a rictus of pain and pleasure, muscles contracting and spasming
as another orgasm shoots through me- this time though it's different- I have
stopped fighting, surrendering all control just concentrating on letting my
body experience a flood of the most intense pleasure.
My heart thuds in my chest piston like and I fear it will explode. The orgasm
lifts me higher than I have ever been before- my whole body is racked with
sweaty shuddering spasms- jerking violently then suddenly I peak and scream
into the sweaty wet cum covered slit pushed hard against my mouth. I am utterly
out of it now, drowning in sea of sweat and cunt cream, lips and face smeared,
aching thighs slick with sweat, my soup and for all I know or care, my pee.
Unable to move ..almost unconscious.
I slump back exhausted, limp and drained. My arms slip from the hips they
clutched so fiercely. I try to control my breathing, gulping in deep breaths of
warm damp air as my mouth and face are released. My heart is pounding and my
body shakes as tremors spasm through me. My mouth and nostrils are saturated
with sweaty, musky tastes and smells. My wet hair plastered across my head and
face.The body in front of me moves away, it stoops and soft lips gently brush
mine, my legs are replaced tenderly on the bench and I am left alone sprawled
out on the wooden slats, heart pumping furiously, tears streaming down my face.
Someone drapes a towel over my splayed out shaking sweat- drenched body. I feel
numb all over but with the most delicious feeling of having been used, I shudder
as I realise just before I drift away that I will want this again one day, want
to be just taken, made to submit, forced to go beyond where I feel "safe"!!-
made to lose all control, all sense of self.
Slowly I come to. I become aware of my surroundings; aware of my body aching as
feeling slowly returns. My thighs and neck are sore where they were so cruelly
gripped. My clit and nipples are a focus of such pain. The temperature in the
room soars as someone pours water on the brazier. I can't breathe. I grab my
towel and, legs shaking, stumble down the aisle, past anonymous legs and feet,
past the people who must have known but not cared what was being done to me. I
grab the door handle and step out into the main room gasping for air. I make my
way to the benches at the side and sit recovering for ages till my breathing
slows and I feel more in control. I know I should shower, I am smeared with
sweat, tears and cunt juice but I am too exhausted for the moment. The inside of
my lips hurt where they had been forced back against my teeth when I had been
face fucked by one of the women. My little bean still throbbingly sore..
Normally I hate being nibbled or rubbed there- its ok round it but the nub
itself is so sensitive!! I squirm on the chair feeling the strange but not
unpleasant ache from the inside of my bottom. I look down at my bare feet, I
sigh realising the flipflops are still in the sauna. I smile wryly- well they
will have to stay there.!!
Whilst sitting there I am aware of people coming out of the sauna. I don't
dare look at them, wondering if anyone of them had been the ones that had
taken me. I have absolutely no wish to see what they look like, I look away
slightly embarrassed. I do wonder if one had been Sarah but there is no sign of
her.. I shiver as my heated body slowly cools.
I go to the locker room and rinse my mouth and shower. I am still a little
unsteady on my legs. I shampoo my hair and half drying it, twist it up and
turban it, get dressed, finish drying my hair and go back into main lounge,
lips dry, throat parched.. I slump tiredly into a comfy chair with a drink of
orange feeling badly dehydrated. I close my eyes and daydream waiting for Sarah.
I must have dozed because the next thing I remember is Sarah gently shaking my
shoulder and telling me it's time to go. On the way home she asks if I have
enjoyed myself and had I gone to the dungeon? I said "Yes I have had a
wonderful time but feel absolutely exhausted". She laughs and says- " Well
saunas are exhausting pet'. I didn't answer her reference to the dungeon.
Neither of us ever referred to it again. I was longing to tell her what
happened and ask her if she had been one of the women, but I didn't. I thought
of it after and realised I hadn't because if the answer was 'No' then she had
probably been with someone else and I would have felt jealous. I also felt
guilty and didn't want to confess to her that I had had the most intense orgasms
of my entire life with at least two unknown women.
I have never been back there. Sarah and I split not long after. I know now that
Sarah was really a Domme and I guess I was too young and inexperienced to
understand about D/s. Perhaps she decided not to corrupt me further? I had of
course realised that Sarah went there regularly for sex and I hadn't known.
It was a bad time for me- realising that I wasnt enough for her. I went once
and watched from outside when I was feeling particularly miserable and lonely
one evening. Saw women going in and wondered if one of them had been with me
that night. It was ridiculous really; it had been so dark no one could have
recognised anyone else. I deluded myself for a while that one of them would
recognise me somehow and invite me in! -----sighs.
I had to write it all down just as it happened. I have never ever had such
intense orgasms- even months after just remembering gives me a funny hollow
feeling in my stomach and always makes me moist. Writing this brings it all
back. I have tried to analyse why: -in the end I think it was the feeling of
complete anonymity and loss of control: no loving: no foreplay; no sense of
self; just raw, mind-blowing submissive sex. At least two women had just taken
and used me- but they had given me such pleasure!! It was another world. I
longed to be able to discuss it with someone. I did wonder why Sarah had taken
me that time? Looking back I think She wanted me to explore my dark side- lose
my naivety about love and faithfulness? Who knows, perhaps She wasn't that
deep?-
I guess I wont go again .. smiles.....
well not unless You take me?
pippa .
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