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CHAPTER 6
Azrael lead the wounded Kin down the hall, trying to break through the wall of pain that he had wrapped himself in. It was becoming more and more obvious, that with all likelihood, this Child/Elder would die. If he could not reach him, make him feel like there was a reason to live, then Loki would not live past sunrise.
"We are here." He opened the door to his private domain. "Be free here, Brother, feel welcome."
Loki paid no mind to the room. He no longer cared what would happen to him. He wanted to die, would in fact, if only his Sire had not deemed him to feeble minded to be taught how to fade.
"Loki?" Azrael sat him on the edge of his bed. "Brother, are you with me?"
Cool, coal, gray eyes locked with his again. "Yes."
Azrael felt a little better. At least this one was still answering him. It could be much worse. "Tell me what I can do for you my friend? How can I help you?"
'Help me' ? Loki just looked at him. This man wanted to help him. "Why?"
Again Azrael began to feel hope. If he could get the boy, and yes, he would always be a boy to him, to start talking. Then there was a chance that he could reach him. "Why what, Brother?"
"Why am I here? Why is it that you keep claiming Kinship to me? I am nothing and no one. How is it that you, who are not only whole and strong, but Lined Kin as well, offer me what my own Sire could not." The emotions were raging in him, as he struggled to control himself. "Look at me." He bit back a sob. "I am a mistake, an embarrassment. Why are you willing to help me? Why do you not just kill me and end my misery?"
Azrael sat beside him, making tisking noises as Loki tried to avoid being pulled into his arms. "Why?" Well he couldn't fault this one his question. "I made a promise to your pet, her dying wish was to see you safe. I would see you prosper, just to spite the monster that left you like this. Yes you should have died. You should have died back when it first became obvious that you had not been able to take the Gift. But you did not. Not only did you not die. You have lived for over two thousand years, without shame, without exposure. I do not reward such skill," Azrael held up a finger to silence Loki, "and yes it is skill, a skill to survive, by letting it fade away." He cupped the younger Childe/Elder's face in his hands. "How long has it been since last another of your kind held you? How long have you been forced to live as a compete outcast?"
Loki tried to pull away, but Azrael's fingers tightened. "Over two thousand years. After Rafiel realized that I was never going to get any better, he stopped sharing his love with me. And began training me to find a human keeper. He left me when I was six."
If Azrael had believed that nothing else could ever shock him, he was horrified to discover how wrong he was. "Six?" It was incomprehensible. "But you were his Fledgling. How is it that you ended up being forced to live on your own? You were an infant."
Loki shrugged. "I shamed him. He couldn't stand to look at me anymore. So he left." It bothered him to have to relive this tale. "Oh he came back off and on for the next thousand years, up to the point he faded. But he wouldn't teach me how to fade, wouldn't kill me, and never touched me again."
"If I offered you my love? Would you take it?" First things first. Let him begin to feel wanted again. "I know you haven't been with any of your own kind in a unholy amount of time, but what about your own sex? How long ago was it that you held a male pet?"
He thought back. His last male keeper had been Edward, and he was before Maggy. 'My God, has it really been that long'? It had been almost 300 years, too long. It had been much, much too long. "A long time." The whole thought that this man would offer him, what his own Sire had denied him, made him tremble with want and excitement as Azrael's fingers began to undo the buttons on his shirt.
"Will you share this with me, Brother. Let me offer you the compassion that I would offer any of my Kin?" Lips brushed against lips. "Allow me to grant you peace, if only for a little while."
* * *
Cerberus sighed, as his home was, invaded again, by those who belonged to the Lined Elder Azrael. "I take it that since I haven't heard from your Coven Master that he isn't taking having my Fledgling in his home too badly." It really didn't surprise him that Zeph had headed for Azrael's the moment he was told to run.
Zak shook his head. "No, not at all. Azrael was a little concerned that you might get upset and make a lot of noise. But other than that, the kid is harmless, and doesn't look foolish, so the odds of him causing trouble are real slim."
Eris, from his standard perch on Cerberus's lap, laughed. "Zephyr isn't going to cause any trouble, the boy knows how to behave. He isn't so young that he can't be trusted to be outside his Sire's watchful eye for more than five minutes."
A sound drew their attention as the door slammed, open and, what could only be the nastiest vampire William had ever seen, came storming in. "What the hell is that?"
Zak looked at the intruding vampire. "One of yours Cerberus?"
The Rogue Coven Master nodded. "Yeah, that is Garren. Don't let his looks fool you Gabriel, he is nice enough to those of his kind. But keep a close eye on your lover there, Garren is absolute death on mortals that piss him off."
William shrugged. "With as filthy as he is, I can see how, he'd kill anything 'living' , with his smell, all by itself." He muttered to Zak.
The vampire that was being talked about moved towards where they sat. "You haven't warned that boy not to bad mouth his betters yet, have you Cerberus?"
William looked at him with a look of contempt. "Well, when I see someone here better than me, I'll consider you advice." Zak had been with him for a long time, and William knew that his friend, lover and husband, wasn't going to let anyone hurt him, at least not without a fight. A fight that this nasty thing would, most, assuredly, lose.
The stinking wretch lunged for him, only to be brought up short by another Kin. "Don't even think about it." Zak held him at arm's length. "You touch my Husband, I will kill you."
Cerberus held his peace. He had been getting more and more ill with the way Garren abused the humans in his keeping. If Zak taught him some manners, so be it.
Garren looked to the Coven Master. "Cerberus, are you going to stand there and let this intruder threaten me?"
Cerberus nodded. "You threatened his husband, lucky you are that his lover is still mortal, because if he hadn't been, I would have to back him in his drive to teach you manners. Garren you are going to have to learn that not every mortal in this house is prey to your abuse. I don't say anything about what you do with yours, as long as you follow the laws I set down. But you can't keep terrorizing anything that isn't Kin in the house. It just isn't right."
Garren looked back at Zak. "You wedded with a pet?" The whole concept was laughable.
"No, William has never been a pet. He was my protector for over four years, before I was reunited with my family. He will one day be my Childe, and unlike most, as he is my, Husband, first, I will never drive him out." The barely contained, fury, in Zak's voice let all in the room know just exactly what they could expect if they touched what he claimed as his.
"If I were you Garren," Eris began. "I would sit down, shut up and continue to live. He's a good sixty years older than you, and trained."
Garren snorted with disgust. "I don't make war on my own kind, Eris, you know that. If this fool wants to play with his food, that's his business.
Cerberus looked up, he hated to breech the subject of the three that this thing kept as pets, but if he didn't Eris would have his balls for earrings. "Oh, Garren. Several of the Kin in the house and a great many of the mortals here as well, say the shape your three are in is a disgrace." He held up a hand before Garren could start. "I told you I'd stay out of your business, but your business is beginning to effect mine. Do something about their condition. It doesn't look good to have kids, beaten half to death, begging help from someone other than their master."
The look of fury that stole over Garren's face warned Cerberus, that he had made a mistake. He should have never mentioned that it had been Jamie, one of Garren's three pets that had begged Eris to help them. "Now don't go ballistic on us." He began.
"It was Jamie again wasn't it?" There was death in his voice.
Cerberus nodded. "Garren, you have to be more careful, those three look like hell. No one keeps pets like that here. It is bad for moral."
William and Zak watched as the two faced each other. "I can see him going too far with anyone in his keep." William whispered to Zak. "I'd slit my own wrist if I had to put up with him."
"Yes, Both Azrael, and my Sire before him, would have strung me up if I abused any in my care." Zak was as sickened with this, half-mad, creature as his husband was.
Garren turned on them with mindless fury. "Trust me." He spat at William. "If you had been mine, you wouldn't have to worry about slitting your wrist. You wouldn't be able to worry about anything." A hand shot out for him.
To be met with a blow that knocked him backwards. "I warned you." Zak's voice was calm, his stance serene, as he looked down at Garren. "If I have to warn you again, there will be war between the houses, because I will kill you."
"Keep that 'boy' of yours in line." Garren picked himself up off the floor. "I don't give a damn how you do things where ever it is you live, but around here, we don't put up with that sort of thing."
Eris snorted. "Wrong, Garren. You are the only one in this house that feels the need to abuse those in your care." Then to Zak, "is it true, is he your Chosen?"
Zak nodded smiling at William. "Yes."
Eris looked to Garren. "I'd advise you make yourself real scarce while they are here. You have, technically, declared war with him and his house."
Both Cerberus and William began to laugh. "I hate to say it, I have never, before now, cherished the thought of any in my house getting into trouble with Line Kin. But if it had to happen, I couldn't have chosen a better fool to be rid of. Get out of here Garren, or I'll throw you to Azrael, as a thank you gift, for what he did for Titania."
Garren glared at first William, then Zak, and finally locking stares with Cerberus. "I'll go. But this isn't over, not by a long shot. I am part of this house. You owe me your protection and backing as the Coven Master of it." And with that he turned and stormed off down the hall.
Everyone in the room let out a collective sigh of relief. "I apologize for him, Gabriel. I try hard not to stick my nose into his affairs, but when he is taking to threatening another's Chosen. I'm going to have to do something about it real soon." Cerberus looked at William, a soft smile on his face. "You do know boy, that you are lucky. I don't know many mortals who are so assured of their master's love and devotion that they would purposely provoke another Kin."
"Firstly, I'm not his Master. He is free. Secondly, he knows that no matter what, I love him, and will always protect him."
"But Gabriel, what happens when he becomes your Childe? Will you still tell him he is free?"
"No, but I don't plan to make him my Fledgling for a while yet. He's been through quite enough in one life. I think it is important to let him heal a while before I change things on him."
"Well, what ever. It really isn't any of our business." Eris reached for William. "Come on, pretty boy, let's go introduce you to the others."
* * *
Loki, bit back a gasp as a slow, easy, cream slick, finger found him. It had been so long, entirely too long. His body had forgotten all that it had learned in his time with Edward. And now it was as if he was a virgin all over.
"Ssshh, relax, Brother. I promise you, there will be no pain." The whole concept of a vampire being this old, this virginal, and male, was unheard of. There of course, were some of his sisters of the Blood that had chosen to take only women for pets and Children, but it was rare. And, this, one under him had been taken, by a man. "Let me help you here, Loki. Share a blood bond with me."
He jerked his head up, in stunned shock, at the ancient one. "A blood bond?" He couldn't mean what he was saying. "You would mingle your blood with mine ?"
Azrael brushed his lips, again, with his own. "I want to see you whole again Loki, or as whole as one who is afflicted as you are, can be. So yes I will share blood with you."
The emotional barrier that Loki had hidden behind, crumbled as he broke, letting this one who was trying so hard to help pull him close.
"Go on, Brother," Azrael held his head to his throat as the wounded Kin sought the comfort he was offering.
It had been too long, the joy and pleasure he felt as Azrael's teeth broke through the flesh of his throat and the bond began was intense. He had forgotten that anything could ever be this good. And as the beauty took him, he swore that if this man demanded that he live, he would. He would grant this one anything, solely for the goodness he had shown him so far.
Azrael pulled away. There was something wrong here. He had been prepared for the taint that he knew would be present in the blood of a Kin who was crippled as this one was. But there was no taint, no weakness. If anything the Gift had not only passed, but had passed amazingly strong. "Loki." He needed to pick his words carefully.
"Yes?" He was on guard, the tone frightened him, there, was something wrong.
"I am not sure how to tell you this." He began.
"I have to leave, don't I?" He would be thrown out, to be alone again. He didn't even deserve the mercy of being killed.
Azrael looked down at him in shock. "No," he shook his head. "Of course not, you have a place here, if you want it for as long as you want it. No my words have no bearing on your remaining here or not." He pulled himself up, pulling Loki along with him. "Will you answer a few of my questions?"
"Yes."
Azrael took a deep breath. "Tell me of your rebirth. What were the conditions of your time before your Sire made you his Childe?"
Loki looked down, ashamed. His existence as Kin, so far, had not been anything to be proud of. And his mortal beginnings were even less. "I don't remember all of my past. But from what Rafiel told me, he found me in the streets, and liked me."
"How old were you, Brother." He knew how much that one word of safety meant to this wounded Childe/Elder.
"I don't know, I think I was about eleven or twelve. I do know that I was dying of sickness and malnutrition. I can remember how kind he had been to me, and how he saw that I was healed." A wistful look fell over his face. "There at the beginning, he was so good to me. He protected me from others like him, and promised me that he would see me grow strong and become his Childe."
"And when was that, love?"
"I think it was a couple of years later, once again I'm not sure of the passage of time. But I am pretty sure that it had to be at least two summers later." He looked at Azrael, confused. "Why are you asking me all of this?"
"This is not something that I have ever dealt with before." He searched for the words. "But you didn't reject the Gift. If anything, it is strong in you. Much stronger than I have seen it in any Rogue in a long time."
Loki looked at him as if he had lost his mind. "I-but-" he shook his head trying to get his brain to work. "I'm an embarrassment. If I was able to take the Gift, then why am I like I am?"
"How much of your life before the Gift do you remember? Other than feelings, do you have any clear memories?" Loki shook his head. "At all, anything?"
"No, Rafiel told me that I didn't want to remember the past, that I was sick and alone, he saved me from death."
Azrael let out a sigh of relief. "Well then I think we can put an end to your belief that it was your fault, something about you that made the Gift fail."
"What do you mean, it wasn't my fault?" He had been told too many times that it was he who failed. That now, even facing the truth. He would not accept it easily.
"You should have never been offered the night, love. You were unstable as a mortal. The blood healed you as much as it could, but could not repair all the damage. It was your Sire's fault, Loki, not yours. He had no business forcing eternity on a child that was not able to bear it."
'It's not my fault. I didn't do anything wrong'. The thought ran over and over in his head. Rafiel had told him over and over that it was his weakness that rejected the blood. That the Gift, when faced with such an unworthy vessel, twisted and turned into something unclean and un-whole. "He, he did this to me . Gave this hell to a child that couldn't possibly hope to use it." He was numb; he could not even feel rage at the man who cursed him to this eternal hell. "He trapped me here, like this. Saw to it that I can't even fade."
The shock began to overwhelm him, leaving him trembling and confused. Terror and horror ripped through him, as he lost control.
* No, this will not do . * A soft voice in his mind, as suddenly a soothing blanket of comfort and concern covered his soul. And with it the means for control. * I had a pet, once, who suffered as you do. I learned how to help her, and now, I can help you . *
Loki looked up at him, stunned. "How?" Never, in over two thousand years had anyone ever been able to stop his seizure, once it began.
"It is not hard. As I said, I had a pet once, she suffered much the same as you. Both Megel, and I had to learn how to help her."
"Thank you."
Azrael kissed him. "Now that I know what I know, I must ask you. Do you wish death? As a whole Kin, you can ask it of me, and I, I will stand in the stead of your Sire. Do you wish to end this life you have been forced to live? Or, live, to perhaps one day, pass the Gift on to a Fledgling Childe of your own?"
Loki could not believe what he was being told. Could he truly sire, a Childe, and would Azrael really free him if he asked? "I, I have wanted to die for so long, but I could not fade. I thought of starving myself to death, or exposure to the sun, but I am too much of a coward for either of those choices." He took a deep breath. "Answer me this Azrael, you have given me so much this night. So if you agree, I will believe you." Self-respect something that he had never had, before, began to find root. "If I choose to live, this is a Covenstead, would I find a home here. Would others welcome me in their lives? Would you, help me to train a Childe, " the very word was spoken in a whisper. "One that I could have with me for eternity. I would never be alone again?"
Azrael smiled, softly, at him. "Yes, little Brother, you will quickly find that you have a place here." 'Such, a pretty thing, I could give him a home, a family, if only he would take it' . The prospect of offering this wounded, lost, Kin a place to, belong was so obvious that he didn't even think to question his instinct. "Answer me this, Loki. If I offered you a ' Brother's Right' , would you take it? Allow me to help you to find a home and a family again. Any Fledgling you have, would have right to my help, as surely as you do"
'Brother's Right', Loki looked at him, speechless. 'This man is offering me 'Brother's Right' . "You-you would do this for me. But wouldn't your Sire hate you for it?" He couldn't be serious.
"No, my Sire has been dead for over a thousand years, and the only Elder relative I have would be happy to have you as an adopted nephew. All it requires is for you to say, 'yes' ."
He would have a family. Something that had been denied him for so long. He would never be alone again. "If I say yes, are you going to regret this, later?"
Azrael's soft laughter seemed to wrap around Loki, making him feel safe again. "Regret my actions later? I never, or should I say very rarely, ever regret anything I do. I am not worried about it. It is your choice, if you wish to be connected to me and mine, you are welcome. If not, I will find you a place with the Rogue Covenstead that I have only just defended."
Words were no longer needed. Loki knew that he would accept this, and start living. For the first time in his life as Kin, really start living. A sob slipped from him as he pressed Azrael back into the bed, moving to bring his new brother the same joy that he was feeling.
Azrael let him show initiative. Pulling him closer, hands warming his skin, even as Loki moved to stroke him. * Open yourself to me Loki. Let me take the discomfort and shyness from you . * He locked eyes with his younger Kin. * I will love you, forever, you are my Brother, as surely as if we shared a Sire. I will never harm you. Never leave or betray you. We will be together, siblings of the heart if not the blood . *
Loki sobbed against the lips that seemed to steal his thoughts and his heart as they teased his senses. It had been much too long since last a man held him, and even the last man, was only mortal. No Kin had touched him since he had become Kin full and no longer needed his Sire's blood to live.
There was strength here, but no brutality. Passion and sharing pleasure that was felt, in the giving, as well as the receiving.
Goosebumps seemed to dance over Loki's flesh as his new lover and Brother toyed with, him, bringing gasps and cries of mindless pleasure. He clawed at the bed-sheets as he felt the cool, gentle mouth moved first to his left tit and then to the right. This was unlike anything that he had ever felt. Not even Katherine had ever moved him, as Azrael was. Could it be that only Kin could effect Kin fully and without reservation?
Azrael pinned his hips to the bed as he drew his hardness into his mouth. Smiling to himself, around the hardened flesh, at Loki's startled and pleased cry. * Am I to assume that you like what I am doing? * He chuckled to himself at Loki's enthusiastic moan of agreement. * Relax, love just enjoys. You have been without pleasure, true pleasure, for far to long. Let me give you this . *
* Let me, how do I share this with you? * Being able to talk mind to mind, was a plus. And here like he was, it wasn't hard. For the first time in his whole life, being open and sharing with, another wasn't hard.
Again the cream slick finger found him. * You are sharing this with me. You, who have not shared anything, with anyone, not mortal for so long, forget. Everything you feel, I feel. The more pleasure I give you, the greater my reward . *
Loki, locked his fingers in Azrael's hair, crying out as the blaze of release took him, ripping through his body and out his shaft in one solid, glorifying, wave of heat and joy. This man could do anything to him now, and he would let him. * Now , * he wanted to feel him make love to him now.
* Yes, now, I will give you what we both want . * He pulled him up, offering Loki the jar of cream. * Has it been so long for you? You do know what I need? * Loki nodded, eagerly reaching to coat the flesh that he wanted to feel inside him. Azrael moaned softly, before capturing him in his arms, holding him close. * Lean forward for me, my love. Let me show you something sweeter than anything you have ever dreamed . *
Loki cried out, in both pleasure and shock as, with one fluid movement, Azrael was in him. How could he have let himself go for so long without this? There was nothing that he had ever felt, that even came close to this joy. Not even when his Sire had held him and loved him. He didn't understand, nor did he care. All he knew was that, with love and patience, he was getting the chance for a life that he should have been offered so many years ago. And for that, this man, who held him so carefully, could ask him anything, and he would give it.