I never wanted this to happen

       My name is Tanya.  It isn’t the name I was born with, but the name I gave myself when I realized I was really a girl inside.  That was when I was about five.  I dressed up in my sister’s clothes for play, which my Mom just thought was cute.  By the time I was 13, though, she didn’t think it was cute anymore.  She forbid me to dress up, and said I would have to be a boy.  I still dressed up when she was at work, and my sister was sympathetic and helped me.  Mom caught me again a year or so later, and threatened to have me locked up for being crazy.  So, I tried to stop, but couldn’t. 

Then, my sister and I hit on a desperate plan.  I wanted to be a girl anyway, so she gave me some birth control pills for the hormones.  It wasn’t long before I started growing breasts, and my shape started to change. I started to dress all the time when Mom wasn’t home and my sister helped me not to get caught.  I then went out with her once or twice, but was careful.  I decided that it was time for me to go out alone.   

I wish I could have imagined the danger that awaited me.  I guess I didn’t grasp how vulnerable a 15 yr. old girl could be.  Maybe it I did, I would have noticed a van following me.   It had pulled up a little ways ahead of me and stopped.  As I walked by it, the side door was suddenly thrown open and two men in ski masks reached out and dragged me in.  It happened so fast that I barely screamed before a hand was over my mouth.  I was small anyway, so I was no trouble to them as they roughly pulled my wrists behind my back and put what must have been handcuffs on them.  I then felt my ankles being tied together.  I saw something that looked like a penis heading for my mouth, and they forced it in and gagged me with it.  The van then took off. 

After they drove for what seemed like hours, but was probably ˝ hour, they pulled into a garage.  They got out and opened the side door, and then carried me into a house and down into a basement.  I saw things there that had to have come from a nightmare.  I had seen pictures of some of this stuff, in school books.  They led me to a stock and opened it.  They uncuffed my hands and put them in and forced my neck down on it and closed it.  I couldn’t move.  One of them started feeling my new breasts under the bra and t-shirt I was wearing, while the other ran his hand up my thigh and to my crotch.  He said, “damn it, this is some kind of faggot!  He has balls!”  The other guy said, I don’t know how- the tits are real enough.  The guy behind me twisted my balls hard as the other guy yanked the gag out.  I screamed at the pain, but they wouldn’t stop until I told them the truth- that I wanted to be a girl and had been taking hormones.  They decided they could still have fun, and set up a video camera.  The one in front unbuckled his pants and pulled out his big cock, and told me to lick it.  When I said no, the other guy twisted my balls again and said he would tear them off if I bit his friend.  I did what they said and licked it, as I cried.  Then, I felt the guy behind me smearing something on my ass.  I could guess what was coming, but couldn’t do anything, as he shoved the head of his cock into my ass.  At the same time as he shoved in, the other guy shoved his cock into my mouth so far I thought I would throw up.  They shoved in and out of me in a rhythm for a while, until I suddenly felt something warm squirt up my ass.  Then, something salty squirted into my mouth.  I tried to spit it out, but I was forced to swallow.  The worst part of this was that I had dreamed of having sex, or maybe even giving a blowjob, but never like this! 

I prayed that they were done, but they only switched places, after getting a little creative.  They took some pliers and attached them to my small breasts and the pain of them hanging down made me scream more.  When they got done this time, they opened the stock and let me off, but recuffed my hands behind me and regagged me.  I could feel cum and blood dripping out of my ass, and I wished I could get the foul taste of cum out of my mouth.  Before they pulled my panties up, they showed me what looked like a little penis and then I could feel as it was shoved up my ass.  I tried to get it out, but they used some kind of belt to keep it in. 

I was carried up to the van and driven around for a while.  They finally stopped, uncuffed my ankles, and shoved me out of the van.  I looked around and saw I was in front of a hospital.  I staggered to the door, and when the security guard saw me, he rushed me to a doctor.  They took out the gag, and I tried to spit the cum out.  They had to get the cops there to get the cuffs off.  I screamed when they pulled the dildo out of my butt, and just cried as they exposed my breasts to get the pliers off.  To make it worse, I got one of those cops who thought it was my fault.  When I thought it couldn’t get any worse, they called my Mom.  She took one look at me and started screaming at me about how it was all my fault.  She wouldn’t let me spend the night in the hospital and dragged me home.  She said she was going to have me locked up as a mental case and see if they could undo the hormones. 

So now, here I am, on the same night.  I am looking at the pills on my dresser that they gave me for pain and to sleep.  My Mom had already hacked my hair down to a butch cut and made me wear an ace bandage wrapped too tight to cover my breasts.  It made it hurt where the pliers had been that much worse.  I went into my bathroom and looked in the mirror, and got a glass of water.  I went out and looked at the pills some more and thought that they had probably just as well have killed me.  Maybe I’ll finish the job for them.