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The Tomb
Author: Lady_Byronia
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(Added on Apr 28, 2012)
(This month 11607 readers) (Total 16922 readers) |
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"Dream-Vision of the mortal Mirabella" ... a vision of primal desire and bloodlust |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 1 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (7/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Michael247
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 3, 2012 |
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This is another one of those moments when the rating system of the BDSM Library fails. Of course, the other problem is that the author, Lady Byronia, has not actually penned an erotic tale. Instead we have a vampire paranormal romance tale -sans erotica.
***
I'll admit that Lady Byronia's writing is pretty decent. Her sentence construction is rift with compound sentences adding a feeling of depth to the writing. I didn't notice any glaring mistakes and that is always refreshing.
***
I only have one issue for the author to consider and it's about style. For all that the grammar construction was well done, it still felt choppy. Descriptions melded haphazardly with personal thoughts. The reader is moved frequently between a narrative past tense to a character point of view present tense. I would encourage the author to literally create new paragraphs to encapsulate the character's observations to separate those from the narrator's. I realize that even the narrator's POV is from the characters, but if you're going to relate the character's thoughts as well as what she is seeing, there needs to be a delineation between the two.
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The author posted no codes for this story for the very reason that it doesn't conform to what is expected from stories posted at the BDSM Library. Why here? Beats me. But if you like vampire romance that goes a little beyond the Harlequin Romance of the Twilight Saga, enjoy.
***
Yours Faithfully, Michael Alexander
(www.michaelalexanderstories.com) (7/10)
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