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Cat's Away, Mice Play
Author: Brian Gulick
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(Added on Dec 27, 2011)
(This month 12486 readers) (Total 22428 readers) |
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Six girlfriends get together for a lingerie party, which really is an initiation of a new member to an erotic all women's club. Day 1 |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 3 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (6/10) |
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| Reviewer:
pharma
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 21, 2016 |
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Good story, please write the second part.
Also I liked the uterus fucking, looks like this girl really enjoyed it. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
himannv
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 28, 2011 |
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Was an interesting story but I admit the wall of text threw me off a bit. I reckon I may have enjoyed the story more if there were paragraphs.
Agree with what JimmyJump said with regards to the pace of the story but personally that didn't bother me as much as the paragraphs.
On the plus side, I found it fairly entertaining although the needle prick happened so fast I had to read twice to let what happened sink in. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 28, 2011 |
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Story has a lot of potential, but it also has the sound of hooves all over it while the author shouts "hi-o Silver" in the background.
Meaning that "Cats Away, Mice Play" is written in a serious trot, bordering on full-blown galop.
I urge Brian to take it easy, build in some tension, have a build up instead of taking off like a hot-rod bound for glory. Because we, the readers, end-up finishing the story in as much time a decent hot-rod needs to eat up a quarter mile/400 metres of concrete...
And please, watch your formatting: submitting a story in one big block of text is a good way to screw-up our eye-sight. Or what's left of it.
I sincerely hope Brian will take the time to expand on the narrative a tad in chapter two, because, like I said, "Cats Away, Mice Play" deserves a better treatment than flashing by like a racehorse on steroids...
JJ (6/10)
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