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My Sexual Evolution
Author: Christine
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(Added on Oct 16, 2011)
(This month 110459 readers) (Total 184480 readers) |
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This autobiographical multi-part story chronicles the Sexual Evolution of Christine, from the very beginning. Experience Christine's sexual firsts, with her, and compare them to your own. Read the details of the numerous, and sometimes outrageous, TUGs and bondage sex games that Christine and her friends played through their Jr. High and High School years. Throw in a little incest and lesbian bondage sex, and you will learn how Christine turned into a bondage nymphet by the time she finished High School. EXPLICIT DESCRIPTIONS OF SEX. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 6 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (9/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
jrockitt
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 3, 2012 |
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Charming, delicious and well written. The pace of the girls' sexual development (slow) was handled with great restraint. However improbable this tale might be, it was a great and stimulating read. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
scoripo49
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 13, 2012 |
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I find that each chapter is very well thought out to vividly relate her lifes experiences to her readers. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 20, 2011 |
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I have no qualms with the format, nor do I carry a grudge against the use of commas -especially when they (the commas) are used apropriately and in their rightful spot.
I thoroughly enjoyed the different chapters of "My Sexual Evolution" so far and I can only hope -since Christine claims to be writing her swansong- that her evolution may continue for many years to come... *grin*
I must agree with Michael that the set up for a journal and that of a story differ, but in the end it's all about how you put it in words and about grabbing -and keeping- the reader's attention.
I'm a reader and Christine got -and kept- my attention.
The only times when my attention wandered off was not due to flaws in the writing but because of memories of my own which came floating through my field of thought.
As it may; since I sometimes could be described as a pre-pubescent teen fast on his way to becoming a dirty ol' man, I find the style and format highly agreeable with the guys up in my endorphine factory.
Nice!
Oh, by the way, I have to disagree with Michael (there's a first!): the comma in the first sentence of the synopsys is an absolute must..!
JJ (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
tormentdom
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 23, 2011 |
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Very well written. (10/10)
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- Replied by:
christine33113
(Edit) (Oct 24, 2011)
- Thanks for the 10/10. It is appreciated.
*
Christine
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| Reviewer:
Curtis
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 21, 2011 |
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Very sexy story. If it really is your last, I hope you take your time with it.
I have to echo what Michael said about the commas. Surplus commas are my biggest failing. When I was actually hired to professionally edit a fantasy novel for another writer, she became so exasperated with my comma usage that she sent me a 16k Word97 document called "Curtis's Comma List" to give me a better indication of when commas are and are not appropriate. If you want, I could e-mail you a copy. (8/10)
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- Replied by:
Michael247
(Edit) (Oct 23, 2011)
- Hell, Curtis. I want a copy of your list! LOL - Michael
- Replied by:
christine33113
(Edit) (Oct 23, 2011)
- Hey Curtis,
*
Thank you for the review. On this website stories rarely get more than 1-3 reviews. It's a real pain to have to register and/or sign in and then write your review. More than 1/2 of the stories on this website never get a review. You made an extra effort.
*
Consequently, I rely on the # of "Total Readers" that my stories generate in order to judge their success. I've done quite well over the years. This story went over 10,000 "Total Readers" in just 5 days!
*
I have the first 7 parts to this story completed. I'll take a look at my comma use, as I write, but I can't imagine cutting out 50% of my commas. Maybe 10%. I'm more inclined to follow the teachings of 2 college professors, who gave me A's.
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However, I would enjoy receiving a copy of "Curtis's Comma List" in MS Word. You can email it to christine33113@yahoo.com
*
Regards, Christine
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| Reviewer:
Michael247
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 19, 2011 |
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Mixed Feelings.
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After finishing the whole story (at least what has been posted thus far), I admit to having some mixed feelings about this story. First of all, I think the author does a great job describing the action of what happens, and even the emotions behind the "narrator's" likes and dislikes. I really appreciated that.
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The story starts off with a rather difficult to get through explanation. The author speaks, (rather than the narrator), indicating that "My Sexual Evolution" is actually more of a journal, and should be used as some sort of guide for pre-pubescent teens and wanking material for dirty old men. This set me slightly on edge, because the criteria that makes a good journal is rather different from what makes a good story. Occasionally you find an author who can do both, or can MAKE a journal into a story. Frankly, the author of THIS story actually manages it, at least for the vast majority of it. The problem with journals is you have to introduce yourself and quantify your credentials. I'm going to be honest, the author's opening was awkward and overly-extended. She delved to deeply into HOW she had the material for this and it did nothing to assure me she was sexually experienced, but that she probably would make a good secretary.
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But after that first awkward moment of introduction, the author (as narrator) takes us into her first semi-sexual world. She relates playing "capture" games as a elementary school kid. Thankfully this was short and nothing even remotely sexually explicit happened. But this scene did help establish a sort of foreshadowing for "Christine's" desire for bondage later on.
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I'm going to admit that the author managed to build the sexual tension rather nicely through the first half of the story. The whole "learning" scene with her mother was erotic in a sort of "behind the scenes" way. As a male, it has never occurred to me that some mothers are so involved in their daughter's sexuality. However I started getting just a little unsettled when mom bought daughter the string bikinis and the prize from the gynecologist was a vibrator. Really? Does that actually happen? I couldn't help getting the feeling that mom was TRYING to sexualize her daughter, rather than letting the girl proceed at her normal pace. And just where the hell was DAD through all this? Was HE aware that mom was encouraging boys to come over for some heavy petting? And then of course there is the question of Christine's will power. I've been a teenager and I seem to remember my sixteen year old girlfriend and I doing something rather similar to Christine's TUG adventures and ending up having sex. Neither of us could back down. Now of course I've been married to her for 17 years and she's been my best friend the entire time (with three kids and another coming!), but seriously, Christine must have the will power of the little engine that could. Oh yeah... and so do the BOYS she "plays" with. Seriously, she's a cock tease (string bikinis? play with my nipples? Hope you don't mind if I go masturbate with a vibrator after this?) and she LIKES being tied up and gagged. That's a recipe for a ravishment if I ever heard one. Are these boys real?
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The first few TUG scenes were especially well done, exactly creating the sort of sexual tension inexperienced teenagers would be feeling. I was THERE, with Christine and James, and I'll be honest, I liked things so much that I had to stop reading at one point about midway and go take care of business as well.
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Unfortunately, after the midpoint of the story the TUG scenes became rather repetitive. There wasn't much in the way of developmental evolution, which caused the sexual tension to stall. In this particular case, almost all of the Rob and Brian sections were superfluous and not really important to the narrator's sexual development. It was just more of the same. This is where Christine's Journal rears it's ugly head again away from a "story". One of the most important things an author has to maintain when writing a story of this nature, especially one this long, is to maintain a fresh environment. Repeating chapter two with just fresh faces and maybe a new set, doesn't really change the fact that the action is the same. Worse, it doesn't move along the plot. I kept expecting Brian or Rob to take Christine all the way, and when it didn't happen, I had to stop and say to myself, why was this even in here?
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From a grammatical perspective, the author does a pretty decent job of writing her tale. Except for a serious case of comma overuse, the author crafts quality compound sentences that add complexity and depth to the overall story. As for the comma use, I know what was happening. The author was writing as if speaking, a common occurrence and one we are all guilty of at some time or another. The problem is that we speak with pregnant pauses and other lapses that are difficult to emulate in the written word. Not only that,but those lapses SHOULDN'T be emulated. Readers don't need the pregnant pauses from simulated speech because those pauses are actually for the SPEAKERS benefit, allowing the brain to catch up with the mouth. I know this for a fact because frequently I don't take those pauses and my mouth moves before my brain has an opportunity to tell me "shut the fuck up now, dumbass!" In writing, there is no need for pregnant pauses, so cut out about half the commas. If you need an example, look at the synopsis for the story. There should be no comma in the first sentence. In the second sentence, the misplaced modifier "with her" should actually not even be there, because the author has already specified who you would be experiencing sexual firsts with in the first two words of the sentence. Then there should be no commas at all. The sentence should actually (grammatically) read like "Experience Christine's sexual firsts and compare them to your own." To be honest, the story is chock full of sentences like this. I recommend Harbrace. Great book. I use it frequently.
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All in all though I think we have a pretty good author bordering on greatness. To be honest, I would much rather see the author attempt some fiction, with a definable plot line and steady tension building, rather than a journalistic "this happened and then this happened" style. Why do I think this? Well some of the scenes in "My Sexual Evolution" were on par with some published author's works and I think that with some forethought, a plot arc, and some editing, the author could easily pen a masterpiece. Obviously she has the creativity for it, and if any of the scenes in this story are an indicator, the capability of crafting a beautiful story.
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My Sexual Evolution is worth reading regardless.
*
Yours Faithfully, Michael Alexander
(www.michaelalexanderstories.com) (7/10)
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- Replied by:
christine33113
(Edit) (Oct 20, 2011)
- Hey Michael,
Thank you for the thoughtful and thorough review. It was much appreciated.
I had to laugh when you mentioned "pregnant pauses." I have vivid memories of 2 different writing professors at a pretty damn good California University, using that exact phrase, and drumming into me that you could never use too many commas (not literally). But, they stressed the need for "pregnant pauses," to literally make the reader take those little pauses while reading. I am not a professional writer, like you. I have no aspirations of making any money off my writing. In my administrative work for our Family Foundation, I write progress reports, evaluations and other documents, and frequently read contracts.
This story is a departure from my previous submissions, and will be my last story. As I write, I enjoy reliving my experiences and getting myself off, during my infrequent writing sessions. If a little repetitive for you, maybe those "dirty old men" can wank off a couple times as they read about teenager's sexual games. From your experience at about age 16, maybe I had a few extra years of pre-coital fun? Maybe it's a generational thing?
I think I can. I think I can. Choo Choo!
Christine
- Replied by:
Michael247
(Edit) (Oct 23, 2011)
- Christine, I'm glad you liked the review. Why on earth will this be the last story you submit? You clearly have a talent writing and with just a little bit of planning and editing, you could create phenomenal stories that could even earn you money. You'd be surprised how many e-books are for sale online where the author can't even write a decent sentence. It's the plague of the industry! And yes... it does appear you started just a tad bit before I did. I didn't have a real sexual experience before sixteen. You clearly have me beat! Congratulations.
*
Michael Alexander
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