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Punishing Allie
Author: Roxxy
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(Added on May 30, 2011)
(This month 14799 readers) (Total 18348 readers) |
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Young Allie is disciplined by her father after he finds incriminating photos of her on his computer. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 1 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (6/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (6/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (6/10) |
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| Reviewer:
teleya
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 9, 2011 |
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You have talent in conveying the character's emotions. My issues with the story is that
... 1) I find it difficult to believe that a girl who has the sass to post such pictures - would be scared of her mother. (or even obey a 'grounding')
...2)Would a sane man be angrier about a bit of weed than the pictures? really?
...3)Perhaps fathers desire their daughters - but do daughters ever desire their fathers? (Men are pigs! Daughters are not!)
- On a side note - the paragraphs are too long.
Still, i think you have potential writing skills - particularly if you would edit your story when you are NOT in a 'turned on' state. (6/10)
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