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The New Owners
Author: Elmer Gantry
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(Added on Apr 26, 2011)
(This month 18654 readers) (Total 23032 readers) |
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Paul was living a good life, and had a great family that he loved deeply. He only wished he had new neighbors. Be careful what you wish for. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (8/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Michael247
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 4, 2011 |
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Racism rears it's ugly head... again.
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Okay, first of all I've got to say this was a great story. The author, Elmer Gantry, obviously has a pretty decent way with words and I found myself intrigued right off the bat, wanting to know how things progressed. Grammar was good, description wasn't bad, especially considering the first person point of view, and the plot tension rose during the entire read.
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But part of me feels disturbed by the racial overtones of the story. I'm not sure what the author was trying to accomplish by making the antagonists of the story "black". This, depending on your point of view, either adds a second level of complexity to the story, or is seriously racist. I'm still not sure which. Could the author be black himself and using this format as "payback?" Perhaps the author is white and "demonizing" (rather unfairly I think) Blacks? Or am I just reading too much into this? America is rather racially sensitive right now and we're all tiptoeing around worried about it. Why add the controversy? Because frankly, it sure as hell changed the tone of this story and for the better I think. Depth is cool.
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I thought the behavior of the dad with Monique, right when she cuffed him, rather odd. It's almost as if he knew it was coming and had no choice in the matter. I'm a bit of a control freak, and you'd think someone who was in management would be too. Would YOU let your neighbor's wife cuff you? Okay... maybe. But things just went from bad to worse. And then to find that both your wife and daughters had betrayed you physically, emotionally, AND financially... wow. That's got to hurt even more than the brand!
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I would have liked this story to be much longer, and there are a couple of ways it could have been done. First of all, a couple more "hints" would have been great. Maybe Mary spending an unusual amount of time over at Alex Sander's fitness gym, or out with Monique. Maybe catching Cassandra sneaking out of the house, or finding welts on the back of her thighs. I would have loved a bit more incest during the "breaking" scene, rather than homosexuality. Seriously, wouldn't the dad have broken even more had it been CASSANDRA who got down and humiliated him and made him cum, and then branded him? It would have also been cool for the dad to see Jessica's torture and punishment for resisting. Nothing breaks a spirit by seeing someone you love tortured. And what the heck was up with leaving for the night? The Sanders get their little sex puppets and then just leave them up as displays? Weird. I'd also like to see this story continued. There are so many options!
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All in all, I think this was a pretty good tale that could be dramatically fleshed out into something incredible. All the components are there, we just need a bit more meat to the tale!
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Dark meat please.
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Yours Faithfully, Michael Alexander
(www.michaelalexanderstories.com)
(8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Maestropretoriano
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 3, 2011 |
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A great start, I'm eager to see where all this is going to lead us (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
sissymaid
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 27, 2011 |
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excelent story. love this style. just hope the story carries on often.
(9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Panther007
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 26, 2011 |
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Excellent start, hope to see more chapters. (8/10)
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