|
|
|
|
|
Gables Academy
Author: Jack Harlequin
|
| |
(Added on Feb 18, 2011)
(This month 52804 readers) (Total 66882 readers) |
| |
This is the third story I have submitted under this name. It is the second set in the genre of the "New Republic", a place that dominant men very much enjoy. Please remeber that "it is just a fantasy". |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 3 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
| 0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
33% |
33% |
33% |
0% |
|
Weighed
Average (?):  (7.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (7/10) |
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
drayman
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 12, 2011 |
| |
I very much enjoyed this story and look forward to reading more Chapters. I am somewhat different than Mike in that I like to learn of the background information early in the tale and find that this enables me to enjoy the narrative more. I find it annoying when the author breaks off and starts to give background information. Still, not everyone is the same (thank goodness) or life would be boring. (9/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Snark
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 25, 2011 |
| |
First, Thanks Mike for the warning. I might have down rated more as well. The first part could have been reduced to a hand full of paragraphs, or, as MA suggested, blended into the story. But the good news: The second part is quite good. I like the delaying of the girl's introduction to intensify the experience. Describing it in her words and emotions would also be good, perhaps in the next chapter. The author has established the main character as a hardened sadist, let's hope he doesn't disappoint. Carry on! (8/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Michael247
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 23, 2011 |
| |
One of these days I'm going to read one of these apocalypse stories where I don't have to spend ten minutes being told what happened in order to justify some guy spanking, sodomizing, and screwing a girl. Unfortunately, it wasn't today.
*
Okay, let's talk about Gables Academy, which as a title doesn't seem too bad except that very little emphasis was placed on the location of this story taking place at the "Gables Academy". Why name the story after some oddball correctional center when it makes no difference? If the Gables Academy was WORSE than all the other academies, and the author spent some time describing the differences, okay then maybe I could see titling this story "Gables Academy", but this is like me calling the movie "Somalia" instead of "Black Hawk Down".
*
For the most part, the writing of Gables Academy was well done. There weren't any glaring errors that I noticed and the language was well constructed with compound sentences adding depth and complexity. It's refreshing to see someone handle the written word well, especially when we so frequently have to cover our eyes here at the BDSM Library.
*
Gables Academy is actually constructed in two parts. The first part is nothing more than one of those god awful scrolling explanations that you find in the front of science fiction or fantasy movies where instead of showing you what happened or what is going on, the director opts for a voice over, or worse, scrolling words. In the case of Gables Academy, we were forced to endure a five minute diatribe and condensed version of the collapse of civilization as we know it and the rise of a "benevolent dictator" who turns the clock back several hundred years and encourages men to beat their wives and daughters. Not that I disapprove mind you, but to be honest, none of this is really relevant. Consider for a moment J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings. Tolkien had HUNDREDS of pages of notes about elvish history, dwarven society, languages, even fables that are referred to in the actual story of the One Ring. If you want to bore yourself to tears read Tolkien's Lost Tales. Point is that Tolkien created a rich world and then knew enough not to smack his readers over the head with that background stuff in one lump sum at the beginning of the story and instead worked it into the ACTUALLY plot, adding depth and intricacy to the world. Oh... how I wish that that had happened with the "Gables Academy". Please do yourself a favor and skip the entire first chapter. Nothing important happens in it except for one thing, and it happens to be the last line. If you REALLY want to get the right feeling for this, imagine a camera shot of flying over a desolated landscape, of wrecked cities, darkened allies where gangs of roving villains live like animals, kidnapping women and raping them. Then envision tanks and soldiers moving forward, conquering city by city, rescuing but asserting their own militaristic on the helpless citizens even as the true villains are executed. The scene turns toward cruelty toward women, to show trials, and eventually executions and the creation of the "academies". Of men getting to act on their deepest urges, without restraint. Imagine having someone telling you all this, and then saying "I understood these men. As the Governor of the Southern Zone of America, I understood them very well." This is clearly the best aspect of part one, the introduction to the main character, a nameless governor of the Southern Zone of America, who is obviously one of these men who can give in to their darkest desires. This transition was sweet and deserves some notice.
*
Part Two of Gables Academy is the actual story. Told in first person from the perspective of the Governor, we are treated to a rather delightful account of an initial "interview" or submission or whatever. The author does a fantastic job of focusing the attention on the paddle on the desk, letting the reader (and the girl!) know exactly what is coming. The humiliation aspects are excellent and the way the Governor abuses the girl is just explicitly delightful.
*
From a plot perspective, this isn't really anything new. There are quite a few BDSM stories where there is a "new world order" and women are basically relegated to sexual playthings for the men. Recently I watched a Q&A with Jim Butcher (a sci-fi fantasy author) and he talked about the age old question of whether or not it's craftsmanship or original ideas that make good stories. Since his novels have been on the NY Times Bestseller list and he believes in craftsmanship and has even USED tired worn out plot concepts and made them PHENOMENAL, I'm pretty much on board with the concept that it's the author who makes the story. Another example is "Gables Academy". Despite the horrifically boring opening, the actual tale of sodomy and humiliation is actually pretty good, proving that craftsmanship trumps tired worn out plot concepts.
*
There is one more issue I need to raise, and I'm sort of reluctant because I feel like I've hammered the author hard. It's about timing. Granted, I slept and then sped read through Part One, but I was wide awake during Part two and the tension build was great. Unfortunately, at least for me, it didn't build up sufficiently before it ended for me to really enjoy what was going on. Part of that was because I had so much farther to go after the mind numbing opening. But part of it was the fact that Part Two needed more. A little more length would have improved the timing quite a bit.
*
I would have rated this much higher had the opening diatribe been slowly alluded to by the Governor during the actual action sequence. But regardless Part Two is some pretty decent material and demonstrates an up and coming author who will no doubt dazzle us with more stories of this world he has created.
*
I just hope it doesn't sound like another encyclopedia entry.
*
Yours Faithfully, Michael Alexander
(www.michaelalexanderstories.com) (7/10)
|
|
|
About 