|
|
|
|
|
Janes Punishment
Author: N&E
|
| |
(Added on May 29, 2010)
(This month 95413 readers) (Total 124399 readers) |
| |
Jane displeases her Mistress and is sent to a Horse stud for punishment |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 6 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
| 0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
17% |
0% |
83% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
|
Weighed
Average (?):  (6.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (7/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (5/10) |
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Mastersbitch
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 16, 2011 |
| |
I know this story is fantasy, but I would like to know what horse (as there were not described as shetlands or anything) has a mere 12 inch penis about wrist thick? Having worked and been around horses, I can assure you that it would be very very unlikely.
Unfortunately the story is based around a naive writer who does not know the subject. I was really looking forward to reading the story as I thought it had promise, but was very dissapointed.
There were a few silly errors that a simple proof read would have solved, which tells me that the author does not really care about their work... which again, is a shame. (5/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Amars
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 9, 2010 |
| |
Good story. wife likes it too.
(7/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
~faerie~
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 9, 2010 |
| |
very interesting. i cant wait for the continuation. (7/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Dryhill
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 3, 2010 |
| |
Personally i like the error on line two of the second paragraph where she was told to be downstairs in ten minuets (a slow, graceful dance in triple measure)this seemes so much nicer than being somewhere in 600 seconds. Also i liked the car coming to a holt (a badgers den) perhaps that is what it did do?. One has to feel a bit sorry for the author in that she has had 5,936 readers but the only three who have left a review are all known to be fussy about spellings and grammar.
i agree with the coments of JimmyJump and Michael247 especially the latters thoughts on the horse's hoofs, this had bothered me quite a bit. The other thing about the horses that kept me wondering was are they so well trained that as one horse finishes he goes to the back of the queue with no pushing and shoving ...... my what well behaved horses.
It would also be nice to know why the glass of win was thrown and if there had been other recent bratty incidents, we can thereby learn somnething of how reasonable/harsh the girls Mistress is.
Overall a story with something a little bit different than the usual seen on this site. Do please keep on writing. (7/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Michael247
(Edit) (Jun 3, 2010)
- LMAO!!!!!! Great review!
- Replied by:
Michael247
(Edit) (Jun 3, 2010)
-
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Michael247
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 2, 2010 |
| |
I have to echo Jimmy Jump here. He's right on with his complaints about the minor errors. Heck, the first sentence actually says "...throwing a glass of win in his face..." Win? I know the author meant wine, but come on. In the FIRST SENTENCE?
*** One thing I really like about this story is the refreshing interesting plot. Tied down to a specially constructed (if not fully described) fucking bench, only to be used as a receptacle for horse cum? Wow. And the introduction of the drugs...I love stories where the female victim is forced to endure non-stop screwing, for days at a time, while experiencing almost non-stop orgasms. It's fantastic!
*** The author did a fairly good job with blocking. That's basically setting up each scene and positioning the actors. Unfortunately, the action was a little difficult to follow, or was zipped through. An example? I had trouble imagining how the horses were mounting Jane. Where did their front hooves go? There was very little dialog, which along with action is the best method for moving plot along. Description was also pretty weak. I got a feel for the scenery, but it all came from me, and not from the author.
*** That said, this author did something else really right. Serials. I technically hate serial stories because I'd rather read the whole thing at once. If you're going to write a serial, you have to make sure that each little "episode" you write has its own sub-plot, pushes the main plot-arc along, and has its own climax and cliffhanger/resolution. The author did this perfectly.
*** In summary, the well executed serial along with a refreshing plot concept saves this story from a lower rating due to the many many errors. I rarely read updates, but I might just pour myself a glass of "win" and sit down to read the next installment. Yours Faithfully, Michael Alexander (www.michaelalexanderstories.com) (7/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 30, 2010 |
| |
Interesting story. Alas littered with omitted words and other spelling/grammatical errors.
The pace of the tale is about right too, although the two days pass by in the blink of an eye.
Personally I would have liked a little more detail about the rig that's being used --as well as to Jane's body capacities-- in light of what she's to endure, just to keep realism (and Jane) somewhat alive.
Still, I'm anticipating further entries to "Jane's Punishment".
JJ (7/10)
|
|
|
About 