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The Corner
Author: Surtea
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(Added on May 29, 2010)
(This month 19929 readers) (Total 45783 readers) |
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The governess makes a terrible mistake... |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 6 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8/10) |
| Average
Rating: (8/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
emodis
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 10, 2010 |
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i enjoyed this a lot but would really have loved it to have been longer with a wider range of "punishments" (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
ashley_craves_cruel
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 9, 2010 |
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What a wonderful and perverse notion: putting words to Farrel. It's a worthy venture and you write well. Please be encouraged to continue. You have added a reader. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Dryhill
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 3, 2010 |
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Whilst i agree that not having the picture does make some of this story difficult to reeally review it (as already mentioned age of the children etc), i still found this an enjoyable short story. Please do not give up with BDSM Library. (8/10)
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- Replied by:
Surtea
(Edit) (Jun 4, 2010)
- I carefully avoided any discussion of the age of the child as I do not find sexual activities involving young children at all acceptable. But the picture is hot, so I left the child in the background and out of the story.
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| Reviewer:
nm.jayhawk
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 3, 2010 |
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Dear Surtea: As one of your readers I have allowed you to take time out of my life to follow your work. I feel I am therefore allowed a brief comment about your situation with bdsmlibrary.com.
You have six works posted here. The two longer works have excellent reviews by a number of people. I don't have to tell you how difficult it is to get comments and you have an abundance. Additionally, every work has at least some comments. You obviously have talent and you're drawing a following. Your four shorter works are not being received as well as the longer ones, but are nonetheless drawing readers and above average reviews. The glitch in the system is the fault of the web site not the author.
Getting to my point (I did promise to be brief.) You're an above average talent who by your own admission likes some of the features of bdsmlibrary. I, personally, would rather see you split your postings between understories and bdsmlibrary than abandon either. If understories handles your illustrated stories to your satisfaction, then take all of your stories to that site; let bdsmlibrary put up only your longer works. As an epilogue to works like Milky and Hirst Hall, offer a note with a link to understories and your illustrated efforts. Such a system might even improve the understories site by increased traffic. Thurber, Faulkner, and Poe couldn't please everybody and there's no reason for you to think you can. Since you like both sites and have a following at both sites, then I submit you should work both sites. I've finished now. Do as you will. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
Surtea
(Edit) (Jun 4, 2010)
- Thanks for taking the time to write and I think your advice is excellent. I will not post anymore short stories here. My link is about enough if people want to find them.
I find myself extraordinarily sensitive to criticism. Maybe it is because I am female but I think it probably applies to most authors. A bad review can make me stop writing for quite some while.
I will keep sending updates to Hirst Hall. I have actually sent the next few but either the system doesn't recognise them or my being annoyed about the shorts has ticked off the administrators. I am now on the last chapter: number 18.
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| Reviewer:
Curtis
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 2, 2010 |
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I really think you should give up on trying to post this series on this site. Keep putting them up on that other site, and include a link to it — hell, even an ad for it — in your author profile, but go back to post non-illustrated stories here.
About "The Corner": unlike a couple of your other stories in this series, I immediately knew which picture you were using as your inspiration this time. (I got the first one right away, also.) I like your concept, but if you aren't going to use a series of drawings to illustrate a continued story, then I think the concept is pretty limiting. This was one of my favorite Farrel's, and you did a good job with it, but I was still disappointed when you came to the end. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Michael247
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 2, 2010 |
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I'm a bit surprised that the author tried, once again, to get the BDSM Library to correctly insert a picture into her submission. It just doesn't work. Pictures on websites have to be loaded into the website's image file, with special code added to the page to tell the computer where the picture is, how to size it, and such. This requires active work on the part of the site administrators, and since the BDSM Library is for all intents and purposes, highly automated, expecting them to do this is positive thinking taken to the extreme. After Surtea's short "The Contest", I'm surprised she tried again. Especially since NOT seeing the illustration severely damages the overall quality of the story.
*** This short story is a bit stunted, and frankly not really a great example of this writer's talent. Ignoring the fact that the illustration the piece is written around is not viewable, the opening and explanation of Miranda's blackmail and abuse is highly unbelievable, and the introduction of Louise questionable. Why create a character who is only there to provide an excuse to sexually subjugate the main character? Does Louise WATCH her mother get abused? So many questions...
*** As usual when dealing with an illustrated story, there are some rather serious descriptors missing. Granted, the illustration should have provided some information to the reader, but considering where the graphic should have been inserted, it might have been wise for the author to provide some descriptors of importance at the very beginning. How old is the boy? How old is Louise? I had to wait until Miranda was actually sitting on the stool to know what it was.
*** Again, the author does a phenomenal job with sentence structure, grammar, and there were no errors that I picked up on. Surtea certainly does a professional job with her writing constructs.
*** Plot arc, tension build, and climax were all well done, though I felt that several "scenes" should have been more detailed and extended, especially the climax. It was the extreme end of things and all we got was a bit of rapid action and a clothespin on Miranda's clit. This was excellent, but I would have loved having this stretched out. I also think that extending a few scenes would have smoothed out some of the grossest unbelievability factors.
*** In summary I think that the overall plot arc is rushed and a little weak on the believability factor. The lack of descriptions didn't affect the rating because I take into account the picture problem. It might be better just to post the picture somewhere else and provide a text link to it. Michael Alexander (www.michaelalexanderstories.com)
(7/10)
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- Replied by:
Surtea
(Edit) (Jun 2, 2010)
- They keep promising to get it right but then failing. I am now very tired of bdsmlibrary.com. The amount of time it takes to think of a story, write it, check it and refine it and then some chimpanzee gets it all stuffed up. I will probably just finish off Hirst Hall here and then give the place a miss. Disappointing as I do like the feedback system.
If you do want to see the story as it was conceived then go to my home page at understories: http://www.understories.com/understories/djian14t/surteax.html
Thanks - Surtea
- Replied by:
Michael247
(Edit) (Jun 2, 2010)
- Surtea, I checked out your link and saw the illustration. It certainly answers quite a few questions. Thank you. Michael Alexander.
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