|
|
|
|
|
The slave professor
Author: nice mary
|
| |
(Added on Apr 27, 2010)
(This month 47750 readers) (Total 84313 readers) |
| |
A female college professor was enslaved by one of her student |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 5 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
| 0% |
0% |
0% |
20% |
40% |
20% |
0% |
0% |
20% |
0% |
|
Weighed
Average (?):  (6/10) |
| Average
Rating: (6/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (4/10) |
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Dryhill
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 28, 2011 |
| |
COMMENTS ON PARTS 1 & 2:
Sorry but i agree with JimmyJump. The story has promise so please do not give up, but some serious editing is required.
COMMENTS ON PART 3:
Still needs more editing but the story is stil quite interesting. But be warned others have done this type of story so beware of being too predictable.
COMMENTS ON PARTS 4 & 5:
The spelling and usage of words has improved, but the story has now got even more silly. the professor's husband is willing to work in Spain for a year and is not making any attempt to have his wife move to Spain as well, oh come on pull the other one it has bells on it!
(5/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
lockedup737
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 11, 2010 |
| |
Jimmy jump makes some good points but I don't agree with everything he says. Your grammar and spelling definitely needs improvement and the story has tremendous potential.I think being reminded how afraid and disgusted that Karen is by what has happened is a good thing if not taken to the extreme. Be careful that you don't "break" Karen too fast or too soon. This story has an almost endless supply of story lines and I will defiantly keep reading. (6/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
tensman46
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 17, 2010 |
| |
A very nice story of total control (9/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
tensman46
(Edit) (May 17, 2010)
- make it more humiliating for her in school
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 28, 2010 |
| |
The introduction reads like a dry summary one would see in a police report. In the short, first paragraph, which consists of eight lines, the author manages to tell us three times that Dr. Karin is a professor teacher. On top of being a teacher, the good Doctor Professor seems to spend a lot of time at the university. Teaching, none-the-less.
We also learn that Karen's husband has sex with his wife once a month. Almost. What does that mean, almost once a month? Does he only cum every two months? Does he have sex 0.7 times a month?
In paragraph two we learn that Elizabeth is one of Karen's students. And that she is studying art. Now, I'm sorry to say this, but it would have seemed rather strange should Elizabeth have taken Karate lessons from Dr. Karen, since the latter is an art professor, so it's pretty obvious which lessons students would take from Dr. Karen.
Elizabeth has a quite remarkable feature as well, in that she's at the same time the most popular girl in school, but doesn't have any friends because of her shitty attitude... A contradicto in terminis, if ever there was one.
I promised myself to be nice to Nice Mary (who could be from Nice in France, judging by some irky spelling mistakes), but I strongly urge her to take "The Slave Professor" back to the drawing board and make a *real* story, because what is presented here, are just some notes an author would make to get a starting point on a story.
Add some emotion, some characterisations, attitude, movements... In other words, make the text come alive, because the set-up of "The Slave Professor" has some promise, if only Nice Mary would take the time to work things out properly...
JJ (5/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
nicemary31
(Edit) (Apr 29, 2010)
- Dear JimmyJump, I really appreciate your criticism to my first story.I promise to work harder in the next chapters.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 28, 2010 |
| |
WAYto much space between each chapter and not noughin each chapter to make thesotry work (4/10)
|
|
|
About 