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The Abduction of Jennifer
Author: Ichisn
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(Added on Apr 21, 2010)
(This month 15723 readers) (Total 38664 readers) |
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This is a abduction rape/bondage story about a young girl taken from a college campus and introduced to the world of domination and submission. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
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of Ratings: 2 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (8/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 13, 2010 |
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(April 25 2010)
A bit rushed, but very well written. Only intriguing fact, however, is the "Part 4?" at the end... I hope part two and three weren't lost in the mists of cyberspace, or --even worse-- were part of...errr... part one (somehow this reminds me of the Marx Brothers. The "part" part, I mean).
Anyway, I liked Jennifer's abduction and am anticipating further writings of Ichisn...
*EDIT*
Re-reading the story, as it is thus far, I feel an eight 'score' suits "The Abduction Of Jennifer" better. I hope the next chapter(s) will be added soon. Or late. As long as they're added.
JJ (8/10)
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- Replied by:
ichisn
(Edit) (Apr 26, 2010)
- Thanks for the review. This was actually the first story I have ever written so getting the tempo down is definately something I can work on. The Part 4? Was a page note that I thought I had removed. There well be more parts coming to this story. I have at least 4 pages ready for submission.
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| Reviewer:
Michael247
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 27, 2010 |
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I'm going to match JimmyJump's seven rating here because frankly, this author has a lot going good here. First of all, let me say that writing in present tense is very difficult for even accomplished writers to pull off, and it's awkward for readers. It just doesn't "feel" right. Present tense also (generally) restricts an authors ability to describe the scene, since present tense lends itself best to dialog and action. That said, the author does a very good job in providing both dialog to move the story along, and action to keep it interesting. What the author doesn't really provide is description. We get some basic props, a little bit of scene setting at the very beginning and not much else, especially during the rape scene. Worse, the story plot prevents meaningful description because of the way its written. It's written in third person, but from a limited POV that hinders description. She's wearing a blindfold. The author compensates for this a little by providing sensory descriptions, but it still leaves us in the dark. *** Grammatically, the story was decent. There were a lot of wrong words that spellcheck and grammar check wouldn't catch. There are two methods for editing your work. One: find an editor who can go through and catch the errors. Two, wait a month or so before you post and re-read it. Usually with that much time you will read what's there, and not what you think is there. *** The plot was nothing special. It's been used a billion times before, however the author still made it interesting. I actually found myself getting hard and wondering what was next for the little college slave slut. Unfortunately the story climaxed before I had a chance too. Add to that the fact that I felt the Rapist/new Master was a little soft on his new slave, and I'm hoping for a darker, more instructive sequel. *** The reason I say this author has a lot going for him is because its his first story. Despite the weird tense and lack of descriptions, he turned out a pretty decent tale. That means he will eventually be producing some level ten stuff, which I am seriously looking forward to. Michael Alexander (www.michaelalexanderstories.com) (7/10)
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- Replied by:
ichisn
(Edit) (Apr 27, 2010)
- Thanks for the reply. I actually haven't completed this story. I had never submitted a story and neglected to have this labeled as a Part 1. I have another 6 pages which I still need to submit and am not done writing. I have also edited the original section some and will resubmit it.
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