|
|
|
|
|
Wild times in Oman
Author: Foxy Little Lady
|
| |
(Added on Jun 9, 2008)
(This month 14172 readers) (Total 39629 readers) |
| |
A young ladies first trip oversea's starts disastrously when drugs are found in her bag, and she is sold as a sex slave to avoid Jail. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 10 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
| 0% |
0% |
30% |
10% |
20% |
20% |
20% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
|
Weighed
Average (?):  (5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (7/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (3/10) |
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
lonewolf8
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 19, 2008 |
| |
I think some of the reviewers were pretty harsh! I thought the story was pretty good. Some of the reviewers should try posting stories themselves before posting such harsh reviews!
I would like to see more of this story! So far so good!
It's true, the first istallment should have been a bit longer, but let's see where this one is going!
Get a bit more descriptive, some better punctuation and editing, but otherwise, not a bad effort at all!
Keep it up! (7/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
a.broadsword
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 18, 2008 |
| |
It is just lumps of words, the paragraphs need seperating, it reads much better if the window is restored down, which has the effect of shortening the lines. I think you should double line space between paragraphs and treat most of your sentences as Paragraphs. Otherwise this is 8 out of 10 stuff.
(5/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
kemosabe
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 18, 2008 |
| |
A tired plot that is overworked and this effort should put an end to all women in prison stories. (4/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
csr
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 18, 2008 |
| |
Needs editing. Cannot get through it. The paragraphs (only two!) are just way too long. (3/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
SensoryOverlord
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 13, 2008 |
| |
I'm getting so sick of tiny (under 20K) story fragments, where the list of tags is almost longer than the story itself. Seriously, why do people bother posting something like this? (3/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
CrazedDog
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 13, 2008 |
| |
Good start - looking for more (7/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 13, 2008 |
| |
Much too short a taste to get a real feel for the tale. A good editor will help you improve some of the mild imperfections to make your tale easier to enjoy (6/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Falcon
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 13, 2008 |
| |
I enjoyed this story and did not find that incomplete sentences or typos to be that much of a problem. I do agree with previous reviewers, however that paragraphs are way too long. Breaking these up into shorter paragraphs would make it much easier to read. The great thing about this story is the way it lets the reader see everything from the young woman's pov - her anxiety and humiliation at what is happening to her. Hope there will be more chapters!!! (6/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
heycarrieanne
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 12, 2008 |
| |
The story theme is good, but the writing is bad! I am sure English is not your first language and I would suggest you find yourself someone proficient in English to aid you. You have HUGE paragraphs, incomplete sentences, and too many typos to count. (3/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
rocket71
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 12, 2008 |
| |
Story line is good,but hard to read.Every thing runs together. (5/10)
|
|
|
About 