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Baby Business
Author: margot
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(Added on Oct 24, 2007)
(This month 16581 readers) (Total 34222 readers) |
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Girl is kidnapped to have babies which will be sold to adoption agencies. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 3 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (6/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (3/10) |
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 9, 2009 |
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you badly need grammerical work and proof reading,lack of both took the joy out of reading the story (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
bmtphoenix
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 14, 2007 |
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Decent, but do some proofreading before putting it up. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 1, 2007 |
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So many grammar and word choice errors that it hardly earns a rating, but please, the idea has possibilities. Perhaps a co-author or good editor could help.
A constant run of short sentences has its place, but when that is all you have, it makes the story sound like something out of a second grade primer. Complex sentences allow more choices of words, more modifiers, and, typically, a smoother flow to the writing. (3/10)
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