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Jessica's rape and training
Author: Lorgrom
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(Added on Apr 11, 2007)
(This month 23232 readers) (Total 84962 readers) |
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Jessica pushes her uncle-in-law to far and is taught how to be a good wife. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 3 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (4/10) |
Average
Rating:  (3.5/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (4/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (2/10) |
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| Reviewer:
JonMaddux
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 29, 2007 |
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I wont beat up the grammer it been done already. Maybe its just a pet peeve of mine but in a NC story if the womans being forced she isnt going to suddenly enjoy it. Maybe i misread it but it seemed to me she was suddenly a born again whore and gobbled the cock up. Than again its possible i misunderstood it. (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
Foxysake
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 13, 2007 |
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I think you have a good storyline to go off of however I agree with GuiltyKarma, you're writing lacks correct grammar. I would suggest that you rewrite or edit or have someone else edit it for you. (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
GuiltyKarma
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 12, 2007 |
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I'm sorry, I never give bad reviews because I know that authors work hard and are proud of their work, but this one was awful. Far too many grammatical errors made it very difficult to follow. I wasn't even aware of the narrator's gender until he woke up with a raging hard on! I think that the idea is good, I especially like the humiliation that Jessica goes through, but it needs character development, and a lot of editing. Spell check is not enough. For example:
".....and his udder-disgust for Jessica."
Udder, is a cows tit. I belive utter is the word you were looking for. I would encourage you to either start afresh with a new idea, or edit this one thouroghly and I'll read it and write another review. :)
(2/10)
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