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Jan and Andrea\'s Story
Author: Lisa Jones
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(Added on Mar 3, 2007)
(This month 19057 readers) (Total 38146 readers) |
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Jan discovers more than she expects when she becomes Andrea\'s lodger |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 11 |
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9% |
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27% |
55% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (9/10) |
Average
Rating:  (9.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Martiniman
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 10, 2011 |
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One of the best stories I've ever read! Lisa Jones is fabulous...read everything she writes...you'll be glad you did! (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
Dryhill
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 7, 2010 |
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A really really good story, the shift between Jan and andrea is, as already stated by others, very well done - i particularly like the change in type face to help emphasize the change.
The characters are believeable and well developed. i disagree with JimmyJump over andrea's quick submission to Jan, i felt this fitted in with what we had already learnt about andrea's feelings on her life.
However like JimmyJump i would love to see this story line continued. There is the BDSM club and Toni and piglet/Jan and andrea relationship to explore. Also is andrea going to get another name? (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 19, 2009 |
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Not many stories around where the subsequent alternating of the point of view is so well played out. Usually writers are too focused on the central storyline to concentrate on the differences in personalities.
Here however, that difference between Jan and Andrea is unmistakable.
What's also very well done in the respective musings, is to not let both women explain the same things in almost the same words, but rather use a kind of overlapping method, again emphasising the difference in character of both women, while at the same time proving the skill of the author.
The only less positive (because I won't speak in negatives here) is maybe the rapidity with which Andrea gives in to Jan. But that has in my opinion nothing to do with an urge from the author to push things, but with the relative shortness of the story. Besides, Andrea giving in so fast, fits the pace of the tale.
The fact that there's but hints of a life outside the relationship, doesn't do the story injustice either; the characters ar well described enough, rich enough to forego too many details.
Then again, adding to the background and slowing the pace would make this short a strong candidate for a full fledged novel.
Can't add anything else really, except that it has been a pleasure to meet Jan and Andrea.
And that I would like to see the story continued. But that's my 'read-greed' speaking.
My thanks for an excellent story, Lisa Jones.
JJ (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
Froggys'angel
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 22, 2008 |
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I will add more to this review when I finish reading, I was just so curious that I couldn't wait. I lived in England for a number of years, my ex-sister-in-law is, or at least was, the manager of a hotel called "The Rose and Crown" it was in Tring, in Hertfordshire, I just had to ask, is this the one you were referring to? :) (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 3, 2008 |
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very nicely written good development, nice yo see an author put some time into their story and not just post it to get it posted (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
chuck
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 22, 2007 |
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I was unsure if I would like the format with alternating points of view, but it flowed very well and proved to be a good format for this story.
I liked the interaction of the characters. It felt like a real and caring relationship. For me, the club scene at the end was particularly erotic.
(10/10)
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| Reviewer:
msnaughtygrrl
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 10, 2007 |
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Bravo, your developing the characters very nicely indeed. I'm actually enjoying the parallel points of view aspect and as mentioned in a previous review its not usually well done, but you seem to mesh things quite nicely, good for you. Your character development and story line are far and above average and i've enjoyed how you've kept things real, edgy but not over the top, your characters seem quite real with honest emotions, fears, desires and needs. I enjoyed the introduction of an experienced hand in Toni to help push things on to a lovely precipace, one that Andrea finally seems set to accept totally at the tales end where she asks Jan to join her in bed once more ... well done, i'll be watching for more. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Elkor
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 13, 2007 |
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Very nicely done. The different perspectives were well integrated, though the "overlap" or "catch-up" internal dialogue seemed a little rushed.
(9/10)
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| Reviewer:
leo07
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 5, 2007 |
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Loved the storyline. Nice slow build-up and a fantastic climax. Can't wait for the (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
star_catcher77
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 4, 2007 |
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It certainly was a good story...I loved the beginning and also the middle (before they got into the bondage). It seemed fairly realistic, and played out nicely. The transitions between Jan's POV and Andrea's POV were surprisingly good (they usually aren't) and I enjoyed the back and forth. Your style of writing is also nice. Though it's not anything refreshing, it's certainly low-key and easy to read; I liked it.
However, I didn't like the bondage scene as much. It seemed to just fall into all the cliches of a bondage scene; "Oh, I've been naughty, I need to be punished" "Oh, I'll punish you!". It just didn't really have anything strong to back it up. I can see how hard it would be to write such a scene; both players are new to the game, one is very nervous, etc, but you just have to be more creative. It might take days upon days of brainstorming, but I can't stress it enough; It's important that your domination scenes be as well written and engaging as the rest of your story. This is one of the few times where I enjoyed the story and not the sexual part (it's usually the other way around!), which is why I decided to write a review. I think this story has plenty of potential, and a good writer to utilize that potential. Keep it up! (7/10)
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- Replied by:
Lisa Jones
(Edit) (Apr 9, 2007)
- Thanks for taking the time to write such a thoughtful review. As you can tell I'm more interested in the interaction between the two women than the sex itself.
I take your point about the sex scene. In my defense I feel that Jan was very new to the BDSM scene and didn't know where Andrea's boundaries lay. As such she would have been copying things she'd learnt on the web that afternoon and it would have been pretty cliched. As the two women develop I hope you'll find that the sex gets more adventurous and less vanilla.
Part II is being written and I hope you'll find it more satisfying. Maybe I can push the star rating up a bit!
Update - Part 2 is now posted and I hope you'll feel I took your points into consideration.
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| Reviewer:
vikjon
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 3, 2007 |
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verry good (10/10)
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- Replied by:
Lisa Jones
(Edit) (Mar 3, 2007)
- Thanks for the stars - I'm not sure it was that good!. Which bit's did you like, which bit's could I improve on?
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