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Mall Princess
Author: Underdog
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(Added on Oct 21, 2006)
(This month 54461 readers) (Total 99707 readers) |
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A single thirty-something guy meets a beautiful high school girl at the mall. He\'s whitebread, she\'s goth. He\'s there to return a DVD player. She\'s there to find her newest personal slave. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 10 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (9/10) |
Average
Rating:  (9.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (5/10) |
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| Reviewer:
xSoCalCynicx
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 23, 2011 |
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Decent writing and descriptions of the couple, but story improperly tagged - no mention of scatology or water sports, to mention two. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
makito
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 10, 2007 |
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This story is fantastic. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
FootSlaveE
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 10, 2007 |
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Amazing story. I can't wait to see what life is like with Martha after his 30 day trial! I hope there is more. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
flux
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 4, 2006 |
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Excellent, glad to see you change your mind! Martha is a great character. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
Worthless
(Edit) (Nov 4, 2006)
- There'll be more!
Jim
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| Reviewer:
willowblonde
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 25, 2006 |
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An excellent story. Well written and had me gripped. The only disappointing part was to discover that it appears there will be no more chapters. Can't Martha change her mind and have some more adventures with him? (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
Worthless
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 23, 2006 |
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Thanks for the good words! (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
trainmanretep
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 22, 2006 |
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great story, especially the last part of the denial. However, I thought in reading it that it did not flow quite as well as it might have. Therefore only a 9 and not a 10. Also I was a bit disturbed by the underage aspect. I think it would have worked just as well with say a college freshmen or summer story with just having graduated from highschool. This at least in 90%+ would imply an age of at least 18.
Please let us see some more of your work very soon. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
Worthless
(Edit) (Oct 22, 2006)
- I'll raise the age next time.
Agreed.
- Replied by:
trainmanretep
(Edit) (Jan 15, 2007)
- great continuation and like that you responded positively to the age issue. I see that some one else had the same objection to the under age part.
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| Reviewer:
Millie
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 22, 2006 |
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Excellent story. Full of surprises. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
slaveneedledick
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 21, 2006 |
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Very good story however, the only thing I did not agree with was the underage thing. Other then that excellent story. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
slaveneedledick
(Edit) (Nov 3, 2006)
- Part two was excellent keep up the good work. I just wish I could write as well as you.
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| Reviewer:
ascot8111
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 21, 2006 |
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Dang, Underdog: you are an amazing writer. You better publish that story, and NOW! Get paid, so you can afford more trips to the mall. (10/10)
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