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At Work One Night
Author: Jeff S
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(Added on Aug 7, 2006)
(This month 11049 readers) (Total 22702 readers) |
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My girlfriend joined me at work one night and really took advantage of me |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 6 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (8/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (6/10) |
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| Reviewer:
bracemaiden
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 9, 2006 |
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I think that Wistan said it best. Really hot action, but your storytelling skills can use some work. More description, less "he did this, she did that" sentence structure. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
slvWriting
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 8, 2006 |
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Good, but short, and lacking any description of the motivations of the characters and what they felt throughout the night.
Still, it was a hot story! ;) (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
jip
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 8, 2006 |
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Karen knows how to give an incredible orgasm to a man! Liked the story. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
ElectricBadger
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 8, 2006 |
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Good for a quick read; Not an in-depth novella, but happily it doesn't try to be, just sticks to what it's good at. A bit more description v. narration would help a lot, but worth a look. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
slaveneedledick
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 7, 2006 |
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Have to agree with Wistan. Character development could be better. The plot was ok but could have been better laid out as well. No bad job though. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
Wistan
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 7, 2006 |
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Not bad at all. You don't learn anything much about the characters, there's no real dialogue here, just a long stream of "she did this, I did that" - this one is all action. It might have benefitted if the author had taken the time to show us the characters talking, have Karen's point of view. But it's written well and works well within that limitation, and the action is pretty intense stuff; that Karen is one hell of a tease! (7/10)
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