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Helplessly Bound
Author: YamiNoHikari
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(Added on Jul 27, 2006)
(This month 12114 readers) (Total 30291 readers) |
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Interrogation of Hikaru whereabout of her Crystal of Mirage. Characters taken from my [Bond of Destiny]. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6/10) |
| Average
Rating: (6/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (8/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (5/10) |
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| Reviewer:
MISTRESS H
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 3, 2008 |
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I was intrigued by the idea of a shemale, not many that I have found, carried this idea over to the reader as you have done. Thank you for your story, and keep them coming.
MISTRESS H (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Dododecapod
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 8, 2006 |
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Reasonably erotic. Your narrative felt a little rushed at times, and you could certainly do with more description, particularly of the sex, that seems skimmed over. You need to do a little more editing, I'm afraid; while you get the spelling right in almost every case, you miss a lot of the and, if and other joining words.
It occurs to me that your first language is not english. If that is the case, let me congratulate you on producing this quite erotic piece. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 27, 2006 |
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As English is your second language, the story is fairly well written. Your English is much better than my Japanese!
That said, there are still many grammatical concerns. A good editor could help this story a great deal. The concept of the story is good; it just needs some enhancement work.
I am looking forward to the next segment. (6/10)
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- Replied by:
YamiNoHikari
(Edit) (Aug 5, 2006)
- Yes, it's my second. Japanese and Chinese are my third. Sorry, I've done my best in checking words, but for grammars, sometimes I don't know where's wrong. Everyone said to do my work in past tense, and so did I.
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 27, 2006 |
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interesting concept but the story is very hard to follow (5/10)
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