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Capturing His Spoiled Wife and Mother-in-Law Author: nastyaryana
(Added on Mar 15, 2006) (This month 59882 readers) (Total 112131 readers)
A man and his beautiful Nazi girlfriend sell his spoiled Jewish wife and mother-in-law into slavery. First, they spend a weekend torturing and humiliating them

Ratings and Reviews:
Number of Ratings: 16
5 Votes
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13% 6% 0% 0% 13% 6% 13% 6% 13% 31%
Weighed Average (?): (7/10)
Average Rating: (7/10)
Highest Rating: (10/10)
Lowest Rating: (1/10)

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Reviewer: lover2214 (Edit) Rating: Jul 24, 2007
Love this story (10/10)

Reviewer: Janeane (Edit) Rating: Oct 12, 2006
Another poor try at writing. Terrible. (1/10)
Replied by: nastyaryana (Edit) (Oct 16, 2006)
Plain Jane: It is so nice to have devoted readers like you who read all my writings. You should start a fan club: Jewish lesbians who are devoted readers of Aryan lesbian authors. Love and pity, Aryana

Reviewer: Deanna (Edit) Rating: Oct 12, 2006
If I wanted Nazis torturing Jews, I'd watch the History Channel. This theme is overdone and the story poorly written. (2/10)
Replied by: nastyaryana (Edit) (Oct 16, 2006)
Dearest Deanna: What time is it on? I'd love to watch! mm mm Love, Aryana

Reviewer: Von Schmiser (Edit) Rating: Mar 30, 2006
Vvery good story.well written and easy reading. It is keeping me eager for the next installments..As for the biased critics..you dont glamorize or make the nazi's nice or good..they are what they are..the villians of your story. Keep up the god work Ari. (8/10)
Replied by: nastyaryana (Edit) (Mar 30, 2006)
Thak you so much. I really appreciate your review and emails. Ari

Reviewer: Sklaventreiber (Edit) Rating: Mar 30, 2006
I found I wanted to know what ethnicity Brad was and why he married his wife in the first place.I also wanted to know the type of relationship Brad was having with Kat...was she for instance his Mistress? In Chapter 2 the scene wasn't believable to me, the mother was supposed to be strong willed and physically in shape yet she was pulled from the car by Brad with little to no fight, then he goes to assist Kat and mom just lays there, not believable. Same with Sheila being left to her own devices when they go get Mom. If Mom is that strong willed you gotta know that she's gonna fight the whole way. There is also to much emphasis on the name brand of clothing just say designer, etc. "With that, she ripped off Sheila's maternity dress. Sheila wore a beautiful Dior(not necessary) lace maternity bra. Kat put her hands on the bra, feeling Sheila's tits.(you're to hung up on this word) "You don’t' mind if I let them out, do you?" "Please, no, Sheila whispered," crying." (The description of the type of bra is not necessary here in fact you could directly to Kat ripping the designer bra off while reprimanding Sheila)
"You dare to say no to me, you dumb bitch!" She ripped the bra off scratching Sheila's huge tits with her nails. I think I'll leave the white hose. They look cute, very virginal" (not necessary the woman’s pregnant)", but those big clown panties must go. Slowly, she pulled off the big white panties. "What an unruly bush you have!" Kat played a bit with Sheila's pussy hair. "I'll bet a bush like that would burn very nicely." (why is this mentioned?)If your going to mention it follow through later you didn't.
"Katrina gently patted Sheila's belly. "We must be careful with that belly. Must not hurt the baby." Then suddenly, she sent a fist to Sheila's huge belly right under her belly button. "Your first lesson is never to say No to me." Sheila was shivering and her face was white." (Need more description here it is well known that a pregnant woman being hit in the stomach would have a more violent reaction) "Would you like to taste some German pussy and some German ass?" (OK I'm German and I would not say it like this. I would say, "Ich werde Sie schmecken gern eine deutsche Muschi und ein deutscher Esel werden?" I am assuming the mother would understand if the daughter didn't. It would have more of an affect I think.
"Brad, give me your belt. Your wife needs some training." Brad took off a heavy leather belt. He leaned forward to watch, all the while playing with Helen's pussy and tits. Helen yelled at her daughter. "Be brave. Don't give in to that Nazi bitch!" Brad pinched Helen's nipples and laughed. "You are one tough woman." OK this paragraph is totally unbelievable. The reason is because if these people have been planning this for some time they would have brought their own instruments of punishment. The rest of your story pretty much has similar problems and I admire your imagination but you need to be morer descriptive and believable. (5/10)
Replied by: nastyaryana (Edit) (Mar 30, 2006)
1
Replied by: nastyaryana (Edit) (Mar 30, 2006)
Thank you so much for your thoughtful analysis. Of all the reviews and email I have received, yours is by far the most thought provoking. I am afraid that I did ot take this project as seriously as you did in your review. I intended it as an exercise in fantasy, where I coud work out my hostilities. From the great number of emails that I have received, I seemed to have touched something in a great many readers. I am truly shocked. I will try to think through the final chapters in the way your response suggests. Hope you like them better. Please let me know. With great respect, Ari

Reviewer: mmr253 (Edit) Rating: Mar 30, 2006
An excellent story, particularly Part 3. Very stimulating and well written. Fingers crossed we won't have to wait too long for Part 4. (9/10)
Replied by: nastyaryana (Edit) (Mar 30, 2006)
Thank you so much for the kind words. Send me an email if you wuld like. Ari

Reviewer: MycroftXXXX (Edit) Rating: Mar 30, 2006
On a site where snuff has its own category, and a good amount (tempted to say majority, but I have not run any statistical analysis) involve some form of non-consensual sex, I think taste is a non-issue.
That being said, I think the author could do a lot to improve the story. The grammar was off in little irking ways, and there just wasn't a lot of heat in the descriptions. Kat does X painful/humiliating act, Sheila sobs, rinse and repeat.
As a sick perv, I appreciate how grotesque and terrible the situation is and applaud the author's sadism towards the characters, but I never really got that involved in how the women were broken. Next to the five on the review screen it say "has some promise, the author could improve it". That pretty much sums it up for me. (5/10)
Replied by: nastyaryana (Edit) (Mar 30, 2006)
My grammar may be a little off, as English is my second language. I am sorry that you were not aroused by or involved in the manner in which the women ate broken. Ari
Replied by: nastyaryana (Edit) (Mar 30, 2006)
My grammar may be a little off, as English is my second language. I am sorry that you were not aroused by or involved in the manner in which the women ate broken. Ari
Replied by: nastyaryana (Edit) (Mar 30, 2006)
My grammar may be a little off, as English is my second language. I am sorry that you were not aroused by or involved in the manner in which the women ate broken. Ari
Replied by: MycroftXXXX (Edit) (Mar 30, 2006)
I completely understand the English barrier, it is my second language two (I was raised in an immigrant family living in the US). As much as I hate cliches, I think I would have enjoyed it much more if the writing had been more "fluid" (how is that for meaningless jargon?). It just read a little choppy for me which took a lot of the feeling out. It is a good start (now that I see you have not written anything else) and if you polish your flow a little you might count me as one of your fans (though if you really are a Nazi I do not think you would want me as a fan...).
Replied by: nastyaryana (Edit) (Mar 30, 2006)
Mycroft: I tried twice earlier to reply, but it did not go through. I am not a nazi. I simply don't care for Jewish women. I have many male frends who are Jewish and they don't seem to like them either, particularly if they are married to one. That was the catalyst for my fantasy.I wish my writing pleased you more. I don't know how to be more fluid. Email if you would like. I would enjoy you as a friend or fan. ( I do like perverts.) Ari

Reviewer: mkemse (Edit) Rating: Mar 28, 2006
i have to agree 100% with SEVENRUSMAX, the Nazi Anti Semite theme ruined the whole story for me also, to much happened during world war II the human attorcities by the Nazi's do not desrve nor are they entiles to anytyupe of pblication, i realize the story may be fantasy but what happened to the Jews wasreal to even think of using the themem for an errotic story, kinda like making an erotic story out of the titanic tragity if nothing else be more sensitive to real histiry events
Hypocrite, acutaly no i am not, it has nothing to to with the nationality of the women, it is the way the story was put together, by the way, did you loose anyone in the Holocost or are you also one to claim it never took place, i did not but i know those who did (7/10)
Replied by: nastyaryana (Edit) (Mar 16, 2006)
I wouldn't read the next chapters. You might find them a tad upsetting.
Replied by: nastyaryana (Edit) (Mar 21, 2006)
Hypocrite: You like stories where Nazis torture French women, but not jews.

Reviewer: CommieCowboy (Edit) Rating: Mar 20, 2006
Not funny...Notice the username too. (1/10)
Replied by: nastyaryana (Edit) (Mar 21, 2006)
It was not intended as a comedy. Apparently, from my email, many readers enjoyed it immensely. Ari

Reviewer: Klauw (Edit) Rating: Mar 16, 2006
Very promising ! Eager for the next chapter ! (9/10)
Replied by: nastyaryana (Edit) (Mar 17, 2006)
I just submitted chapter 2. I do hope you enjoy it! Ari

Reviewer: nastyaryana (Edit) Rating: Mar 16, 2006
This is Aryana's sister, Kathy, and I love it. Aryana is a great writer and many will enjoy reading about what Kat does to those two spoiled bitches.
Kathy (10/10)

Reviewer: chksng19 (Edit) Rating: Mar 15, 2006
Fine story, maybe a little bit drawn out so far... could move a little faster. Interested in seeing the next chapter (7/10)
Replied by: nastyaryana (Edit) (Mar 15, 2006)
You can expect plenty of nastiness and action in chapter 2. Aryana
Replied by: nastyaryana (Edit) (Mar 15, 2006)
You can expect plenty of nastiness and action in chapter 2. Aryana

Reviewer: DAF (Edit) Rating: Mar 15, 2006
All the stereotipical BS about minorities, women enjoying nonconsenual rape, incest and minors in forced sex acts and I have never seen such a negative response regarding the theme of a story. Perhaps a religion, race and sexual orientation disclaimer should be added to the stories. A 10 based on the quality of the writing which is what I thought reviews were supposed to be about rather than sensitivity training at a BDSM site. (10/10)
Replied by: nastyaryana (Edit) (Mar 15, 2006)
Those were exactly my feelings. I never thought I would receive criticism for insensitivity. Aryana

Reviewer: mike uk reader (Edit) Rating: Mar 15, 2006
This story may shock some with it's Nazi and Jew central themed persons involved,however the erotic story is very well written by this new author to this site and deservedly get's my upmost praise. Please let's have more from you soon... (10/10)
Replied by: nastyaryana (Edit) (Mar 15, 2006)
Thank you so much, Mike. I am already working on chapter 2. I am glad you liked the first part. Not everyone agreed, as you can see. I can also be Imed at Yahoo by the same name. Would love to hear from you. Aryana

Reviewer: jawdrw (Edit) Rating: Mar 15, 2006
I loved it. I can't wait for the next installment to read how Katrina handles the two bitches. (10/10)
Replied by: olga_uebel (Edit) (Mar 15, 2006)
Me too: We want Katrina to be the main character! Lovely Nazi bitch, mmmm!
Replied by: nastyaryana (Edit) (Mar 16, 2006)
I think you will love chapter 2. Katrina takes charge!

Reviewer: SEVERUSMAX (Edit) Rating: Mar 15, 2006
Sorry, but the Nazi, anti-Semite thing took some of the fun out of it for me. Otherwise, it might have been more enjoyable. (6/10)
Replied by: jawdrw (Edit) (Mar 15, 2006)
That is just why I enjoyed it so much. I thought the characterizations were right on target!.
Replied by: mkemse (Edit) (Mar 15, 2006)
jawdrw, did you loose any family members to the Holcost,The Nazi terrorism of the time that was not fuction it was fact, if you did not, then you have no concept as to how this subject matter affects someone who may have, kinda like writing an erotic story about someone maybe in your family who passed away in an horric manner

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