|
|
|
|
|
Lost in Isolation
Author: Aussiegirl
|
| |
(Added on Mar 2, 2006)
(This month 41600 readers) (Total 68895 readers) |
| |
When Clare is abducted, she finds herself in a situation where no one will talk to her and she can\'t talk to them. She is truely isolated and that is only the beginning of her troubles. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 7 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
| 0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
29% |
0% |
14% |
29% |
14% |
14% |
|
Weighed
Average (?):  (7.5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (7.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (5/10) |
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
heycarrieanne
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 6, 2006 |
| |
I liked your story a lot. I only found two distractions: (1) You need to separate somehow between the girl's thoughts and those of the men; and (2) the action is rather slow. Other than that, it was really good! (7/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Aussiegirl1
(Edit) (Mar 7, 2006)
- Thanks,
I appreciate your comments. I can understand the distraction of the views, and have altered that in my other stories to come.
Aussiegirl
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 5, 2006 |
| |
An excellent and refreshing look at an old plot. The back & forth POV gets a little odd now and again, but it's great having the emotions of both sides.
Hope there's more to this... (9/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Aussiegirl1
(Edit) (Mar 6, 2006)
- Thanks chksng19,
Thank for your comments. I too like to show the emotions of both sides. Read comments below to know why they are a bit confused. More very soon.
Aussiegirl
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
ramses
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 5, 2006 |
| |
I rarely found such a good story on the net, though I generally like the action a bit harder. I think your descriptions of the girl's emotions were really good. The flipping viewpoints aren't too distracting. Can't wait to read the next part. (10/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Aussiegirl1
(Edit) (Mar 6, 2006)
- Thanks you so much ramses,
I am truely flattered. I think you will find the next section a bit harder and you wont have too long to wait.
Aussiegirl
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
LordVetinari
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 4, 2006 |
| |
It could have been a good story, but the way the author kept flipping the point of view between the two main characters without warning left me constantly wondering who "I" was whenever I encountered it. (5/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Aussiegirl1
(Edit) (Mar 5, 2006)
- Thanks,
I can understand why this could have been confusing. As I said below, I changed the view after I first wrote the story. I am in the process of writing another story in first person and I am taking a chapter for each character's view. Hope you read some of my other stories and see what you think.
Aussiegirl
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
laursie
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 3, 2006 |
| |
I totally disagree with H Dean. To me it is how a story makes you feel. I am not looking for errors. I am looking for content, for how the charatcters are formed. I felt this girls fear her sadness her helplessness. She even made the main abductor seem almost sympathic. I can't wait for this story to continue. Good job as usual Aussiegirl. (8/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Aussiegirl1
(Edit) (Mar 5, 2006)
- Thanks so much laursie,
While I do try to make sure my stories do not have too many errors, it is the content that I hope readers really look for. The next part is one the way soon, just have to re-read it first.
Aussiegirl
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Thorn
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 3, 2006 |
| |
I think while H Dean's comments are valid, there aren't as many errors in this piece as a 5 rating would suggest. For free internet reading, this is a good story. I read it all the way through, and found it quite enjoyable - I hope you continue writing it. (8/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Aussiegirl1
(Edit) (Mar 5, 2006)
- Thanks Thorn,
I'm glad you liked it, despite it being a bit hard to follow. (see comments below ). You should be seeing the follow up soon.
Aussiegirl
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
H Dean
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 2, 2006 |
| |
I can see potential in this story. Unfortunately, there were many things that made the reading quite difficult and, truth be told, I could not complete it. Many difficulties arrive in the form of the many abrupt changes in perspective. One moment the story is being told in the first person and then in third person and then again in someone else's first person perspective. It's not the easiest thing to pull off and I don't know that it can be; not effectively, anyway. Another problem was that, while the spelling of words appeared to be correct, the words were the incorrect words; "check" instead of "cheek" being a prime example. There were grammatical errors, as well. Frankly, those were not terribly distracting. On the positive side, I rather liked the story (what I read of it) and was intrigued by how it would play out. I really think this story could go somewhere and be entirely enjoyable if it is edited more carefully and not just gone over with a spell check routine. (5/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Aussiegirl1
(Edit) (Mar 5, 2006)
- Thanks H Dean,
I appreciate your comments and understand your view. I actally wrote the story in third person first and then for some strange reason thought it should be in first. I thought I had caught all the changes, but must have missed some. Anyway, hope you take the time to read some of my other stories.
Aussiegirl
|
|
|
About 