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The Bare Necessity
Author: Athenna
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(Added on Sep 2, 2005)
(This month 20711 readers) (Total 53833 readers) |
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Its a F/f D/s Story. Which is too close to reality. How i see my self getting involved in a D/s with another female that is. Its extreme at times, calm at others. Its crazy at times, and sane at others. Just as complex as human mind. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 9 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (7/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (3/10) |
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| Reviewer:
rilawild
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 24, 2005 |
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I'm enjoying the story. The English has improved and that makes it easier to read, though it still isn't quite there (though it is better than some for whom English is their native language). It is acceptable hence the rating.
I'd love to see this continued.
(6/10)
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- Replied by:
Athenna
(Edit) (Sep 5, 2005)
- yep, tehre are lot many chaptors to go. it does seem it hasnt strated yet! :) i understand the english thing, and ofcourse, i need to improve as english is not my first languag. :) keep checking for updates which are soon to come!
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| Reviewer:
cambridge
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 22, 2005 |
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That the first chapter established character before getting into the action is not such a sin, even for an internet audience. There is passion and understanding and the story deserves better ratings than it has yet received. Keep up the good work. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 7, 2005 |
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There are lots of chances to make this a better story, and you seem to be looking at an editor, which will really help. You have many directions in which the story can go: I am anxious to see which way you take it. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
Chela
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 6, 2005 |
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This is the type of story, that should be reviewed over time not after one chapter. I agree with the other reviewers concerning the english, this story had nice beginning and hopefully will continue, I also agree with the reveiwer Mad lewis, the readers should be patient.
(5/10)
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| Reviewer:
Mad Lews
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 5, 2005 |
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I'll give it a five realizing we have a bit of English as a second language problem and a slowly building story. The first problem could be improved if you could find a native speaker willing to edit, the second problem only requires a patient reader. Good luck and keep writing, it gets easier and better with practice (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
Rocky
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 5, 2005 |
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Amen to the other reviewers. It seems fairly apparent that English is probably not your native language. I would recommend finding someone to help you with the grammar. Aside from that, what I read of it seems rather far-fetched. It's one thing to write with the intent of being implausible; it's quite another when taken vice-versa. (3/10)
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- Replied by:
Athenna
(Edit) (Sep 5, 2005)
- :) i understand the english part. :) and i shall find someone to help me with taht. Anyways, aside from that, i think its too soon to judge as its justa beginning!
- Replied by:
Rocky
(Edit) (Sep 5, 2005)
- Well, I shall continue reading as chapters are posted...and hopefully, will be able to upgrade my rating.
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 3, 2005 |
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not sure what to make of the story (4/10)
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- Replied by:
Athenna
(Edit) (Sep 5, 2005)
- not sure what to make of your review!!
- Replied by:
mkemse
(Edit) (Apr 3, 2006)
- maybe it is the english buti found the story hard to read and follow that's all i meant sorry i was not more specific
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| Reviewer:
bracemaiden
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 3, 2005 |
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Any hints of sexuality are lost on me. People sometimes giving out their name to a waitress just doesn't do it for me. Grammar could use some improvement. (4/10)
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- Replied by:
Athenna
(Edit) (Sep 5, 2005)
- i get what you say, but its a F/f fiction written by a female, so it is bound to be wuite more sensitive and pushing the 'mushy' buttons for a female! And yes, English is not my first language, so yeah, i think i need one editor for sure.
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| Reviewer:
Engineer
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 3, 2005 |
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A nice-written start, but this short piece lacks any content from the large keyword list. (4/10)
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- Replied by:
Athenna
(Edit) (Sep 5, 2005)
- thanks! But as i said.. its just a start! :) so the large keywords list is for the next chaptors. which are sure to come! :)
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