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Tessa's Forced
Author: DarkMind
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(Added on Aug 2, 2005)
(This month 30670 readers) (Total 55604 readers) |
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A good morning turns into a very bad day as 14 Year old Tessa is forced to do as a masked man tells her to keep her parents alive. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 6 |
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| 17% |
17% |
67% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (3/10) |
Average
Rating:  (2.5/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (3/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (1/10) |
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| Reviewer:
brittany heart
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 26, 2005 |
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Stay away from Pedophilia buddy!! (1/10)
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| Reviewer:
balorlv
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 11, 2005 |
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I have to agree with the other reviewers here. This is a poorly written story.Grammar aside the story needs more meat on the bone, it almost written in bullet format and reads more like an outline to a planned story, than a story by itself. The plot has potencial but it simply doesn't hold the readers attention in its present form. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
Belly
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 5, 2005 |
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Needs some fleshing out. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
Dododecapod
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 3, 2005 |
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Reasonably erotic, some good ideas here, but not exactly something new or innovative. I'm not sure about the "Extreme" rating, either.
However, while you have some of the art of writing, you have little of the craft. Your writing is pedestrian, not very interesting, and more than a little simplistic as far as grammar goes. Worse, your spelling is poor, and in these days of spellcheckers, that is really unforgivable.
However, you have some promise. Increasing your use of descriptors, complexifying your grammar and designing a structure for your tale would have improved it a great deal, as would some attempt to provide a modicum of suspense (as it is, I never really get the feeling that the girl or her parents are in real danger).
Finally, while this might work as a short story, some background as to the kidnapper/rapist is would add to the flow. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 3, 2005 |
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the story itself was ok, but the grammer and length of the story was terrible, you need to slow down and spell check and grammar check the next part if there is one (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
geoff
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 3, 2005 |
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Didn't do it for me - grammar is very poor (2/10)
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