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Reality TV
Author: Fargrace
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(Added on Jul 3, 2005)
(This month 13216 readers) (Total 20624 readers) |
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Five married couples get invited to a fetish reality show. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 2 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (4.5/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (5/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (4/10) |
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| Reviewer:
La Toya
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 6, 2005 |
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While the idea of the story is different them most. The writer make it easy for the reader to give up reading, do to the way its written.
If things improve I shall follow along. (4/10)
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- Replied by:
Fargrace
(Edit) (Jul 7, 2005)
- Thank you for the review and I appreciate your honesty. I am working on getting my english back up to par with the rest of American Society, but I find I have spent a little too long abroad. If you have any ideas as to how you would differ in my style for such an environment, I would a be willing to listen... fargrace@yahoo.com
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| Reviewer:
lex ludite
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 4, 2005 |
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For a brief moment this reader felt as if somehow Franz Kafka had risen from the grave. Evidently this is a take-off on Fear Factor, and I give the author a great deal of credit for taking the leap, but unfortunately it's without a net and the grammar, changes of tense, misspellings of the simplest names, etc, etc utterly devastate what had the potential to be something very good. The collection of characters is most entertaining and could have led to a number of interesting subplots and situations. Unfortunately the author writes in a manner that almost dares you to try to follow all the insane things he knows he has in his story, but probably doesn't have the skill, at present, to carry off. I'm almost tempted to take a flyer and see what transpires next, even though I may be risking my sanity. This is one of those fabulous failures that make one wish that things could have been different, but alas, they aren't. In my rating of 5, the word "could" is replaced with "should". (5/10)
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- Replied by:
Fargrace
(Edit) (Jul 7, 2005)
- Thank you for your honesty, I do realize that my english at the moment is less than favorable and I do hope to bring it up to par, but I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you. I do hope that you take the time and read some of my future works if for no other reason than to test your sanity. I would appreciate it if you gave me any specific ideas as to how to write this style of story in a more favorable format for the reader. Fargrace@yahoo.com
- Replied by:
lex ludite
(Edit) (Jul 24, 2005)
- Take what I said to heart as far as the correctable things are concerned. In doing that you will have enhanced your story significantly and gotten closer to your former mother tongue. Try to read what you wrote and then ask yourself does it make good sense. You can have a wealth of good ideas but how you present them, and which you choose to present can make or break your story. I would certainly encourage you to keep working on this particular story. It has a great deal of potential, but needs some skillful handling to avoid killing the readers' interest. In passing I would like to acknowledge the irritating presence of some young lady who shall remain nameless for almost forcing me to provide these pearls of wisdom. You know who you are.
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