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Warrior and the Queen
Author: Rebel Snowdrop
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(Added on Apr 23, 2005)
(This month 14392 readers) (Total 23427 readers) |
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A warrior discovers a new role in service to the ruler who defeated him... |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 5 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (4.5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (4.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (7/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (1/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Ranai
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 15, 2005 |
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There are nice ideas here, there is imagination and eroticism, but the story does not work. Why?
Two differenct things have been glued together that don't fit together: (A) narrative context and (B) erotic action.
Having a sexy POW in her power and at her mercy, the Queen does not use her prey for her sovereign pleasure and amusement. Instead, Her Majesty very agreeably performs a Sugar Domme service on him. Men don't get captured to experience this sort of thing, they pay for it, or catch their dominantly inclined wife or girlfriend in a generous mood.
My advice to the author: Dump this text and try again. You have skill and imagination!
Either start with the plot, the captured warrior one or any other narrative context, and then invent your erotic action to suit the characters and situation.
Or do it the other way round, dream up the sex scene you want to offer to your readers, and subsequently come up with a situation in which this is likely to happen, and characters who are likely to do it.
Have fun! (2/10)
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| Reviewer:
duchifat
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 25, 2005 |
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What a worrior....no wonder he lost the battle..... (1/10)
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| Reviewer:
slaveneedledick
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 24, 2005 |
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The story was alright but it was just to short and lacked something. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 24, 2005 |
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it was ok, could have been better (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
La Toya
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 24, 2005 |
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enjoyable short story, the question is .... it there more to come (6/10)
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