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A Life With Ariel
Author: H. Dean
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(Added on Mar 12, 2005)
(This month 36820 readers) (Total 69108 readers) |
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A wealthy business man invites old friends over to his mansion where they meet his beautiful slave, Ariel. After much cajoling they convince him to relate his story of how he came to be her owner. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 11 |
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9% |
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45% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8/10) |
| Average
Rating: (8/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (6/10) |
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| Reviewer:
dontmindme
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 15, 2012 |
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I love this, even if it is unfinished. This story is great. If it ever gets updated, I'll be there.
(9/10)
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| Reviewer:
moptop
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 22, 2007 |
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Loved it. Won't even complain about the odd error. Well, not much anyway *grins*. I liked that it was romantic as well as sexy. I enjoyed the narrator's own self-exploration. And of course I want to know where the tiger stripes came from.
I didn't quite, not quite, believe her total acceptance of the possibility of never cumming again, or her ability just to submit when she was frustrated. I appreciate that she might have been getting her pleasure from her pain and submission, but orgasm denial really does do the head in and can make even the very submissive behave unacceptably. But hey - this is a fantasy.
*goes off to see if he's published the rest* (9/10)
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- Replied by:
H Dean
(Edit) (Sep 22, 2007)
- Thanks for reading and reviewing this debacle. My computer destroyed the rest of this story on 3 occassions before I gave up. One day I may go back to it. For now, it remains as is.
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| Reviewer:
StillBehindBlueEyes
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 26, 2006 |
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I knew better than to read an unfinished project. H. Dean get to that computer and start writing. Hurry, please, pretty please.
I really enjoyed the way you set this up then slowly started revealing bit by bit.
Really I think it's time you got writing on this again. Smiles up with a silly grin. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
H Dean
(Edit) (Jun 27, 2006)
- I intend on finishing this bit of fiction as soon as I get the necessary urge. Unfortunately, a couple of computer melt downs cost me two finished versions of this story. As you can imagine, I was heartily disappointed at having to re-write this story twice only to have my computer chew it up and spit it out a second time. Of course, I do appreaciate your kind rating and encouragement.
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| Reviewer:
jip
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 2, 2006 |
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H Dean, as you like as reviewer to make comments on spelling, grammar etc, I put your text in Word spell checker. Believe you would be surprised how much spelling is wrong.... (6/10)
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- Replied by:
H Dean
(Edit) (Apr 3, 2006)
- When I review a story, I take all things into consideration and comment on the story, how it was told and technical issues. You may not consider the review process as a means to improve, but I do. So do many authors. I would be neglectful and dishonest if I did not offer honest critisism to those who post here. Consequently, I offer comments based on story content, flow, story telling ability and technical issues. Rather than offering this, you seem to have decided to punish me for my own story reviews. Rather childish, if you ask me. Just the same, I appreciate you putting my story through a spell check routine - as I did. Your agenda is clear and I promise to give your comments the consideration they deserve.
**Oh, I did check my story again and there are zero spelling mistakes. Regardless of your want to flame me, I promise not to return the favor. My reviews will always be honest and offer critisism that will, hopefully, improve your abilities.
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| Reviewer:
longrover
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 15, 2005 |
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I like the story but it seems incomplete at the end of the third chapter, as though a significant block of time passed between that point and the beginning of the dinner that frames the tale. If nothing else, the narrative has not yet returned to its frame. (7/10)
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- Replied by:
H Dean
(Edit) (Oct 15, 2005)
- I appreciate the review. Unfortunately, this tale is stuck as a "To be continued" mode. I lost a signifigant portion of the tale due to computer "fun" and had to re-write it. Meanwhile, other ideas caught my attention and I went to those. This tale will see completion sometime in the future.
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| Reviewer:
LordVetinari
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 7, 2005 |
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Okay, I really love the verisimilitude of this story. There are some fascinating glimpses into the back stories of both main characters. I admit, I am hoping for a bit more cruelty, but I am also a sadist. Still, this is an excellent story.
-- (my original review below, to keep context) --
Yet again, I find myself writing "A great beginning." Hopefully the author will continue this story. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
H Dean
(Edit) (Mar 13, 2005)
- Thanks for the encouragement. I have a large portion of the tale finished. Edits abound, however.
- Replied by:
LordVetinari
(Edit) (Mar 20, 2005)
- As the author has added chapter two, that definitely begins to follow up on the promise of the first chapter. I look forward to all future installments with great delight and growing anticipation.
- Replied by:
H Dean
(Edit) (Mar 20, 2005)
- Thanks for the encouragement, yet again. I am in the midst of re-writes for part three and I do not intend on making the mistake of posting it before I should - as I did part 1.
- Replied by:
H Dean
(Edit) (Apr 7, 2005)
- Thanks again for the encouragement. Also, thank you for your continuing attention to this tale and the improved rating. I hope to have the next part up by the end of the next week. As I said to another reviewer, I suffered a meltdown and had to re-write the tale, so it is slow going. On the other hand, the re-write has allowed me to be more in depth than I had been. So, maybe it's a good thing.
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| Reviewer:
La Toya
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 5, 2005 |
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very nice (7/10)
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- Replied by:
H Dean
(Edit) (Apr 7, 2005)
- I appreciate the good words, though I am interested in why you rated this as a 7. That is, why you rated this below the other reviewers. I am not upset, I just like to know the rationale - one does not improve without knowledge, after all.
- Replied by:
La Toya
(Edit) (Apr 7, 2005)
- H. Dean,
I sorryI did not add to the review. Understand to me, there is something missing. I have read the story a couple times now, and I just cant put my finger on it. When I do, (I hope you dont mind) I shall email mail it, to you
- Replied by:
H Dean
(Edit) (Apr 8, 2005)
- I promise not to complain. Well, not too much.
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| Reviewer:
marty farrell
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 28, 2005 |
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very good plot can't wait for chapter#3 (9/10)
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- Replied by:
H Dean
(Edit) (Mar 29, 2005)
- I hope to have it up soon. Unfortunately, a computer problem has stalled me. That is, it deleted a large portion of the tale. So, I am re-writing it. A joy. But, thanks for the encouragement and please have a little patience, I will have part three here soon.
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| Reviewer:
rce
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 18, 2005 |
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A good story, but the prologue is a riddle: the old friends all have slaves, meet the female main character for the first time, then we learn that she is the very first slave of the narrator, introducing him into bondage and dominance. How come the old friends did not know about her already? Is the answer yet to come? (7/10)
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- Replied by:
H Dean
(Edit) (Mar 18, 2005)
- rce - Of course the answer is to come. And it is quite a simplistic one. Not really a riddle, though i hope it keeps you reading. Part 2 should be posted by the next update to the site. Part 3 answers your question. Though, it's not really that important to the tale. More of an aside.
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| Reviewer:
Mad Lews
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 14, 2005 |
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I must second that thought. A good start. What you do with it is the crux of the matter. The writing is quite readable though you do make a few errors ( it seems to happen when you get excited) You might consider an independent proof reader. But all such problems become minor in the face of a great story (8/10)
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- Replied by:
H Dean
(Edit) (Mar 14, 2005)
- Funny you should comment as you did. I reviewed the story today and found a few redundancies and some poor phrasings. I posted it after only one edit - a rarety for me.
I hope to take more time with the editing for the next few parts of the story. Though, as I am sure you know, when other parts are calling you do not always take proper time with previous parts.
Finally, I appreciate the kind words and I look forward to further comments. Hopefully, you won't have need to comment on mistakes - I hope to fix them before they are ever spotted.
Now, if I can only find my eagle eye.
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 13, 2005 |
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good start, i will change my rating and review upon posting of more chapters, get the mouth wet, now i need to see what it tastes like (7/10)
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- Replied by:
H Dean
(Edit) (Mar 13, 2005)
- I hope to keep it from tasting like chicken.
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