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The Tomgirl and the Butterfly
Author: Azazel
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(Added on Nov 14, 2004)
(This month 209041 readers) (Total 309760 readers) |
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The most beautiful butterflies coloured in the widest array of bright colours start out life as dull, forlorn caterpillars. They eek out a drab existence feeding from the bottoms of leaves, hiding away from the sun and staying out of the sight of predators. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 20 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (9.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (10/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (8/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Ordalie
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 17, 2012 |
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Your faithful readers would be overjoyed if they didn't have to wait for SEVEN years before the next instalment! Do spare us, please!
In that awfully long time I have almost forgotten what it's all about, so I'll have the pleasure of reading it again... And add a review! (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
blossom
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 10, 2012 |
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love it, if this was a book i would buy it,ive read it 3 times now and cant get enough. look forward to more :) (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 31, 2009 |
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Quite a delight to read. Story has a novel-like quality, reminiscent of those Victorian-era disciplining stories. But, although the author does her best to achieve the same level of eroticism as the aforementioned stories, she does not always succeed, as sometimes, the scandalous behaviour of the protganoists is drowned in too much detail, or wrongly timed intervals, or even the wrong choice of words.
Still, as a whole, this story stands tall and is an absolute must-read.
Since both the final chapter as well as the author indicated that there's more to come, I can only hope that such is indeed the case, because a labour of love, what this work clearly is, merits to be continued until the very end.
JJ (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
anubis04
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 17, 2005 |
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Excellent story! Of all the stories on the site, I enjoy the longer ones focusing on the development of a single character the best, and your story is definitely one of the best. I especially enjoyed the character development and realism in your story and sincerely hope that you will finish it one day. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
wrongway24
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 20, 2005 |
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Great story! I am ready to read more of this story so hopefully you'll update soon. Thanks. (10/10)
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- Replied by:
Azazel
(Edit) (Apr 14, 2005)
- Two new chapters got submitted yesterday. Thanks for the review.
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| Reviewer:
teamster
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 23, 2005 |
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a nice piece of writing and I am intrigued by the ambiguous ending... let me congratulate you for giving your characters a believable inner life... conflicting emotions, etc. the only reason I didn't give it a ten is that the action is a little tame for my personal taste which admittedly is somewhat jaded. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
Azazel
(Edit) (May 24, 2005)
- I haven't finished just quite yet...
But thanks for the review.
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| Reviewer:
petleah
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 17, 2005 |
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I have only read one story that competes for equality in the high standard of grammar, sentence structure, and above all, plot and originality and I read that story (all 5+MB) of it well over three times "cover" to "cover".
You are by far one of the most talented and thorough authors I have had the pleasure of "experiencing" and I sincerely hope you continue writing with the effort and flare for erotica that you so clearly display! (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
ghakko
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 31, 2005 |
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Beautiful work. :)
I really the admire the detail you've put into your characters, and the setting of the story. The see-sawing power struggle between Charlotte and Mr Campbell gave it a sort of tension that kept me hanging on chapter after chapter.
Waiting eagerly for more. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
Verywierd
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 20, 2005 |
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Excellent piece of work. As pussy torture is my particular favorite your story struck a chord with me. In a world of bimbos and wimpering slaves, your strong female characters are refreshing. I was starting to think that no one else had tastes anything like mine so your story is definitely a ray of sunshine. Keep it up. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
DarkPen
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 22, 2005 |
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All I can say is that this is HOT! Really good writing, really interesting story line, excellent sex. And I doesn't seem like the author is going 'over the top' with his charactors.
Keep It Up, and Thanks for a great read! (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
Engineer
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 19, 2005 |
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A very very promising beginning. I hope dearly, that this work does not share the fate of so many others, never becoming finished. Just add some spelling polish, and it would be worth a 10.
Edit: Meanwhile, the story had developed into a real marvel, without anything to complain. It's simply top-quality, and I hope it will be continued and, finally, finished. (10/10)
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- Replied by:
Azazel
(Edit) (Nov 19, 2004)
- Gee - Thanks.
There are at least two chapters submitted for the next update, and another 10 already written which are just being edited now. Still got a head of steam and plenty of plot left :)
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| Reviewer:
Firefly
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 9, 2005 |
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An excellent story, well thought out and written. I eagerly await each new chapter in a way I have with very few other stories. (10/10)
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- Replied by:
Azazel
(Edit) (Jan 10, 2005)
- Thankyou for your kind words. I have been very much taken aback by the reviews that I have received. Fret not, Charlotte and Mr Campbell are far from finished and I am far from running out of steam.
I would also like to extend a huge thanks to CHKSNG19 who has since the first few chapters "americanised" my prose. Without his thanks I would have made some very big errors in usage of the language and examples of current affairs. Many thanks to him not only for his help in editing, but also in providing more meaningful feedback in recent weeks.
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| Reviewer:
stspreservus23
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 19, 2004 |
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Very impressive Azazel. Very Impressive. I'm quite surprised at the excellent imagery and superb word choice you have used. I suspect you have an extensive background in writing or are very intelligent. Rather well read myself, I would like to compliment you on the originality of this particuler piece. I very much enjoy written forms of pornography myself but have very frequently been disappointed by the quality to be found in the genre. Thank you for contributing this exceptional effort and BRAVO! (10/10)
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- Replied by:
Azazel
(Edit) (Nov 19, 2004)
- Well what can I say but wow. Thankyou all for you kind comments on my first story.
I'm trying to write something that I've been looking for in here for years (slight over exageration, but 18 months doesn't sound as good). I hope you like it and I hope I don't disappoint anyone with the rest of the story (only about a quarter has been posted so far).
I really appreciate the feedback. Thanks.
- Replied by:
stspreservus23
(Edit) (Nov 21, 2004)
- No thanks necessary. I only speak the truth...your story IS excellent. Thank you for replying. If you can...please let me know when you have added the next chapter
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| Reviewer:
Lindalooking
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 16, 2004 |
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Excellent beginning! Good development with strong characters. If timely updates are posted (November 16 as of this writing) I would increase the rating (unless the story just falls apart of course.) (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 15, 2004 |
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As spoken by others wiser than I, a spell checker (and, perchance, an editor?) would help the story a great deal. As would someone who knew American slang, as the story is set there. No American-born child would ever 'feel the Right Royal Goose'. Nor would they know what the phrase meant. (grin)
Mechanics aside, I'm excited about this story. I sincerely hope you plan to continue it, as it is indeed a well begun promise of things to come.
I look forward to the opportunity of reading more of your fine story, and raising your score as minor things are repaired. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
castle2001
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 14, 2004 |
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This is a very well constructed build up. Excellent start on what demands further exploration. Spelling is easily corrected by a good editor. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
MasterRJ
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 14, 2004 |
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I've read better...but not many. I love that. The ultimate bondage, turning a tomboy into some one who is an absolute girly girl...a very interesting concept. You've also captured another important part of a story through the vitem's eyes. You feel sorry for the victem...and at the same time you make the rapist seem like an absolute psycho. I like to think those who've read this story want to see him get his at the end. I mean...he's just weird... (9/10)
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- Replied by:
Engineer
(Edit) (Nov 16, 2004)
- Oh yes, you pointed to a very important thing: "You feel sorry for the victem...". I fully agree. But I'm wondering about the next words: "and at the same time you make the rapist seem like an absolute psycho." Up to now, there was no rape - even not in an idiomatic sense - , and I hope it will not be one later on. And, currently, I would not call the taylor a rapist or a psycho. Something eccentric and old-fashioned, yes, but he has well-founded opinons about proper behavior...
- Replied by:
MasterRJ
(Edit) (Nov 16, 2004)
- Yeah absolutely. There could be no sexual assault in this story and still have it be good. But I do think the taylor is very much out of his mind. I'm more reffering to say the Cerberus stories (I think it's Cerberus, who ever writes about the Thanatos Society) where the older brother holds his sister captive in her own home.
- Replied by:
Azazel
(Edit) (Nov 19, 2004)
- Whilst I haven't plotted the story to its conclusion yet - although I have a fair idea of what is generally going to happen - I think its safe to say that there wont be any thanatos society style goings on.
- Replied by:
MasterRJ
(Edit) (Nov 19, 2004)
- In terms of torture or sheer humiliation? This's starting to sound like a humiliation story now...
- Replied by:
Azazel
(Edit) (Nov 19, 2004)
- Oh there's plenty of everything, but I find blood and gore... unsexy. You'll have to wait and see i guess :)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 14, 2004 |
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great start, but i want to see where you go from here (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
kleintje15
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 14, 2004 |
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WAuw!!!!!!!!!!!! what a story i hope the writer keeps up the good work it could not have been better even if it was written by anne rice. great job (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
Spitman
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 14, 2004 |
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An excellent start. Nice touch, using the name Frank Campbell. I hope the rest of the story is up to Frank's high standards! (10/10)
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