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Stranger In The Night
Author: MistressKali
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(Added on Jul 16, 2004)
(This month 9316 readers) (Total 17874 readers) |
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She thinks she knows who it is that is in the room with her... but does she really? |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 3 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6/10) |
| Average
Rating: (6/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (6/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (6/10) |
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| Reviewer:
bracemaiden
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 4, 2004 |
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OK! I get it! There's no talking. Stop already!
I just didn't get into the mood on this one. Too wordy for the action? The ending didn't do it for me either. Hopefully your milage will vary. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
Alex Bragi
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 17, 2004 |
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Unfortunately, I have to agree completely with Faibhar – this didn’t work well for me either. Second person perspective is extremely difficult to write, as is present tense. Unless your name's on the Pulitzer list, combining these two with the first person, this is a style most people will find very awkward to read. That, and a number of minor literary hiccups, I felt just simply let this story down. I noticed too that you are fond of using brackets, people who know a whole lot more about writing than I do, say: Never use them in a story, because, “they break the reader’s feeling of suspended belief.” They also say avoid using numerals and symbols(&), probably for the same reason.
On the up side, you have a great feeling for the sensual side of story writing. Terms like ‘velvet vise’ and ‘liquid waves’ I felt were fresh and exquisitely accurate. The dialog was hot and the descriptions of the play nicely done. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
Faibhar
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 16, 2004 |
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The shifting points of view in "Stranger(s) In The Night" make this inventive story a bit hard to follow. With a good sense of direction, to get past those ever-changing POV's, this story makes for fine reading. (6/10)
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