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My New Slave
Author: Dragonette
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(Added on Mar 17, 2001)
(This month 11070 readers) (Total 21178 readers) |
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Magical kingdom, a new male slave gets a different owner, but then, so does she! |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 2 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6/10) |
Average
Rating:  (6.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (7/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (6/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Escritor
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 25, 2011 |
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Good story, but the writing could improve. It needs more character development as well, you cannot place a story on some other planet, universe or whatever and not explore that world thoroughly.
Now, let's point out the most annoying thing in this story: you start off in the first person, on her, but quickly switch to an omniscent third person, just to briefly go back to the first person and finish the second half of the story again on an omniscent third person. Pick one and write the whole story with that!
Then, you need a spelling and grammar checker, and a thesaurus as well, the same words repeat over and over again.
As for the magic in this story, it really is not necessary, it doesn't play a major role and therefore should not have been included.
Even though the characters engage in non consensual activities, they seem to enjoy them thoroughly, so it gets unrealistic and unappealing. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
crickette
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 9, 2003 |
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I really liked reading My New Slave. I was curious by the remark you made in the synopsis about him getting a new owner as well as her getting a new owner. I was pleasantly suprised upon learning just what that meant. I loved the story line and of course the ending ! This was my first story involving any type of magic and I am glad I decided to read it. I look forward to reading your work in the future. (7/10)
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