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Regulated
Author: Blackstar
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(Added on Nov 12, 2003)
(This month 35211 readers) (Total 60788 readers) |
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Story based on news about tourists are being arrested for drunken behaviour. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6/10) |
Average
Rating:  (6.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (4/10) |
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 20, 2004 |
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it was ok, nothing special (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
kemosabe
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 13, 2003 |
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Sorry, but the malapropisms lent an air of humor to a story that shouldn't have. The long descriptions tended to bore me, waiting for something to really happen. I know it is tough to write in Enlish for many but this one didn't do it for me. (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
lex ludite
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 13, 2003 |
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This effort gets high marks for locale, setup and heat. What happens to the three victims is pretty much by the book with the exception of the use of forced pregnancy as a weapon by those in authority. I would wonder if the government of such a country would allow this type of behavior considering the loss of tourist dollars that would logically follow. Singapore might get away with its rather archaic and infrequent application of caning as a legal penalty, considering its attractiveness as a vacation area, but I'm sure that wide spread application would cause the government major grief. Now as to the matter of the author's command of his second language. He gets high marks for attempting to translate his vision into another language, but must suffer the penalty for a less than acceptable level of execution. This reader does not like to be continually distracted and required to wonder whether what he is reading is what the author intended it to be. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
e.e. norcod
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 13, 2003 |
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Well, after two previous misfires, Blackstar has finally found his niche. This is the finest "tourist in the third world judicial caning" story it has ever been my pleasure to read. By the style of writing and allusions, Blackstar appears to either be from South Asia or from the Southern Carribean of South Asian ancestry. The lapses in spelling and usuage that jump out distractingly to someone raised in the US or UK when Blackstar is writing about ancient Rome ring of authenticity when the subject is a vague anglophone third world location. The location is an authoritarian tropical kingdom. Were it not for the fact that the author explicitly and repeatedly identifies the local law enforcement officers as black, I would have placed the locale in the Kingdom of Tonga. What seem to be the author's deficiencies in the previous two stories are now of enormous advantage in lending authentic color and flavor to the story.
In any case dialect is extemely difficult to handle. The author must have absolute perfect pitch for what is natural and authentic. This is almost impossible for an outsider to achieve. Blackstar has taken a disadvantage and turned it to advantage. This is the best dialect I have ever read on this or any other BDSM site.
LeAnne, Caroline and Kennedey's various degredations are lovingly recounted. I loved this story.
Blackstar, you now need to write a sequel set in the same local. Congratulations on having discovered your voice! (9/10)
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