|
|
|
|
|
My Story
Author: Ramona
|
| |
(Added on Mar 7, 2003)
(This month 9730 readers) (Total 21136 readers) |
| |
33 f lesbian Domme..uk. This is the story about me. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 7 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
| 14% |
0% |
14% |
0% |
14% |
0% |
0% |
14% |
0% |
43% |
|
Weighed
Average (?):  (6.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (1/10) |
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Perrin
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 26, 2007 |
| |
Nice story with a definite possibility of being really good, but the rhythm is relentless, which gets quite tiring. Try a few more full-stops, shorter sentences, possibly some semicolons. You will not lose the pace but it will be easier ont he reader. Also grammar is important; I know it sounds trite but etting the genitives and tenses right adds a lot to a written piece. Also distinguishing dialogue from narrative makes reading easier. The style you have adopted is more suited to thought or drug-induced scenes, which is not really the theme of the story. (5/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
le forgeron
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 5, 2003 |
| |
I just like it!
It's a shame for the minor spelling errors, and the huge paragraphs. (8/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
mistresscandy
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 12, 2003 |
| |
this is a great story!! keep this one going! i look forward to reading the rest of it! (10/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Ramona
(Edit) (Mar 12, 2003)
- hi,
thanks for the supportive comments.
I have a number of other chapters that i will share in due course.Initially it was written as a one off and with the benefit of hindsight i should have started at the beginning, not someplace in the middle..lol
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
lillith5791
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 8, 2003 |
| |
The story was wonderful. As mentioned in other posts, the spelling and grammar needed work, but I understand that the first draft was published by accident. All in all, a very worthwhile read. (10/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Moggy
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 8, 2003 |
| |
I found the writing and content to be generally engaging, but whatever editing and spell-checking the author did was simply not enough. Ramona, your writing has potential but needs much more work on grammar, spelling and layout. (3/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Ramona
(Edit) (Mar 8, 2003)
- thank you for your comments, i think i may have inadvertently published the original version as writen before using spell checker etc.as stated, i no not cobsider myself to be any sort of writer, and english grammar was never my strong point at school.
R..
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Powerone
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 8, 2003 |
| |
"not that I consider myself to be any sort of an author but with the aid of spell checker and
constant re-editing I hope to make it reable and perhaps enjoyable to those of a like mind."
I guess a spell checker and constant re-editing did not work in this case. There were so many spelling and grammar errors, never mind the paragraphs that were huge (one was 1434 words), or huge sentences with more then 83 words.
I would suggest that you find someone that knows a little bit more about writing and let them take your story and see if they can make it readable.
(1/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Ramona
(Edit) (Mar 12, 2003)
- But did you Jack off to its content ?
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
whipmaster
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 7, 2003 |
| |
an excellent story by my mistress.
well worth reading
i can tell you from my service under her instruction that she has a wealt of experience in this field (10/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Ramona
(Edit) (Mar 8, 2003)
- thank you my darling Lo, it would appear from comments made, that i inadvertently published the original draft story , the one before i put it thru spell checker, never mind, i really appreciated your comments and the number and variety of your names never ceases to amaze me, remember..its is Mistress Ramona who is your Whipmistress.
|
|
|
About 