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School girls Are Disciplined
Author: Steven Douglas
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(Added on Feb 16, 2003)
(This month 36777 readers) (Total 65378 readers) |
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The parents leave the daughter to the son for absolute discipline. Three school girls are disciplined by their brothers during their summer holidays and life would never be the same for them again. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 8 |
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| 13% |
25% |
25% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
25% |
0% |
13% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (1/10) |
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| Reviewer:
wild77er
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 10, 2012 |
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I thought it was a great story as far as the way it was written (paragraphs punctuation ect) I am not a English teacher so I guess it did not bother me... You those who complained should read some of my kids writing schools are not what they use to be LOL (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
redwrangler
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 1, 2009 |
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I had a time reading this, but the content was pure genius and kept me reading for more anal punishments, paddlings and enema punishments. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Maitre1962
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 9, 2007 |
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story line is interesting. It would be better though,if you wrote in your native language,as your written english is rather poor. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 16, 2006 |
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the 8 is for thr concept of the story, if i added in the layout of the story, the paragraphing it would barely rate a 1
YOU NEED TO LEARN TO SPACE BETTER MAKES IT MUCH EASIER TO READ, I DO NOT NEED THIS TUPE OF CHALLENGE WHEN READING A STORY (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Lady Lance
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 18, 2003 |
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Definitely want to echo what's already been said:
1. Formatting. Paragraphs are your friend. Huge chunks of text are not erotic. They are dull and too hard to follow.
2. Proofreading. Not only for spelling and grammar, but for style. The whole story sounds so clincial and dull.
3. Content. There's nothing new here. She does something he doesn't like. He punishes her. Repeat ad nauseum.
Reading is not worth the eye strain. (2/10)
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| Reviewer:
peachmellon
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 18, 2003 |
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it started off ummm just alright.~~.. but there was no paragraphs.. so i got a little lost.. LOL>. and i think proof reading is required.. i know you want to continue. but i dont think i will read another chapter of this story. do you think perhaps doing a new story .. and not with every sentence or idea running together.. in other words we need paragraphs.. but i dont think i will be reading a continued chapter.. sorry (2/10)
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| Reviewer:
Nitrofox
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 17, 2003 |
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Ye gods this is pathetic. Has anyone ever heard of new paragraphs? What about proof reading? You can tell something is wrong if you spell someone's name two different ways (Silvia, Sylvia). Definitely more paragraphs. Check your spelling as well. I won't even comment on grammar. This story has promise, but it won't get anywhere without some major fixing up. I didn't even get past the first hundred lines. (1/10)
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| Reviewer:
Powerone
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 16, 2003 |
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The first chapter was OK, then I got to the next chapter. Or should I say the next paragraphs. Each Part is one paragraph. One very, very, very long endless paragraph. Never got past Part 2, my mind was too tired from trying to comprehend what was in one paragraph of 2,252 words. And that was only part 2. How could you ever get through 10 parts of 23,720 words? (3/10)
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