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Maiden Maid
Author: Powerone
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(Added on Sep 30, 2002)
(This month 100696 readers) (Total 175171 readers) |
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This is the story of orphans that become of age in 1933 and what they are forced to do to survive the Great Depression. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 11 |
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| 1 |
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10 |
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18% |
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18% |
36% |
27% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (9/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (6/10) |
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| Reviewer:
WackySpurtz
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 12, 2004 |
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I like the beginning "IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT" better.
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<<It was a cold night in the winter of 1933. Only the roaring fire from the mammoth fireplace in the study lighted the room.>>
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(6/10)
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- Replied by:
Nitrofox
(Edit) (Oct 9, 2004)
- Is that all you read, or why is this story getting a 6?
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| Reviewer:
drayman
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 25, 2003 |
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I have just finished reading Part 5 and must compliment the author on his skill in the development of the story. An enjoyable read that leaves me looking forward to the next part of the tale. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
e.e. norcod
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 3, 2003 |
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Probably the best thing that Powerone has ever written. I had to wait a while to see how it would develope but Download #5 has moved me to review. I agree with Brother Bocca's reivew about the developing intensity and I might add, mood. I also agree with him that the historical setting is well done. His review was written very early on so that he could not see the plot developing but I am sure that it would please him.
Why not a ten? I must also agree with anguisette's review of earlier this year that the numerous small lapses in spelling, grammar and composition are galling. I do think however that this story is a significant improvement over Powerone's earlier work.
As for choppy prose, I cannot say that Powerone is any worse than I am.
What would I like to see in chapters beyond five. Perhaps a little more development in the characters of the protagonist and John. Some novel plot twists.
A final note. I am always bothered by petty anachronisms. Above all in the matter of women's garb. During the 1920's and 30's fashionable women not only discarded their corsets but also shed the combination of camisole, tie-fastened bloomers and sometimes voluminous petticoats for a shift (now called a full slip) of the slickest material they could afford and drawers with an elastized waist (which evolved into panties). Although in the early 30's a serving girl might persist in wearing a camisole and tied knickers beneath her blouse and skirt she would have felt naked without her petticoat.
Best wishes, I look forward to Chapter 6. If it gets better I will beg to revise my rating to a ten. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
Powerone
(Edit) (Oct 13, 2003)
- Thank you for your review, the details in it and the suggestions. You will have to see how John fits in (I will also have to see).
Sara's clothes were not for her likings, but for Michaels. He wanted easy access to her body (the ties on the panties) and he loves the feel of the camisole and the way it teased her nipples.
Hopefully Chapter 6 will deserve your ten.
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| Reviewer:
nightskye
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 24, 2003 |
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oh my god..please continue soon....
*gasp*
You had me..well..very very wet (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
anguisette
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 5, 2003 |
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It wasn't a bad idea; in fact, I think that the concept of this story is fascinating and would be quite enjoyable to explore. There were some more technical problems that leapt out at me, though. Besides the usual spelling and grammatical errors that I've (sadly!) become used to seeing on this site, the story was choppy in places. If you're going to jump around the timeline of your story, it would behoove you to make a more discernable break in the sections of the tale. It becomes confusing for the reader if you move around too much without obvious separations. I also think that the word choice, while quite a bit better than most stories I've read here, could be a wee bit better. Basically, the only errors I found are those that a good edit would eliminate. I look forward to seeing if you put the advice we reviewers have given to good use, and I do certainly want to read more. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
Nitrofox
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 29, 2002 |
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I really like this story. The plot is well defined, and the writing is well (intentionally misspelled), and the author would do good (intentionally misspelled) to correct the small errors of having well and good mixed up. "You did good", for example. Besides that, I see no great problem, and I look forward to the next chapter. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
snippet
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 18, 2002 |
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Highly readable and enjoyable story! The setting and mood are beautiful, as are the erotic predicaments of our tender heroines. More please! (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
LadyLibra
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 14, 2002 |
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looking forward to reading more! (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
veru_skjava
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 13, 2002 |
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Wonderful captivating story. Very enjoyable style, different from authors previous works, yet as expected equally enticing. Surpasses previous works, with delightful characterizations.
I look forward to reading additional chapters. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Trusser
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 1, 2002 |
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Excellent (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
boccaccio2000g
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 1, 2002 |
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Very good so far; I liked the first chapter of this story better than any of the author's other stories that I have read. An interesting historical setting, good intensity, and more stylishly written, IMO, than the author's other work. A very attainable smidgin of characterization away from a 9 or 10. (8/10)
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