Family Feud II

The Family Feud II

Chapter Seven

It was close to 7pm and the sun was about to go down when the Taylor men emerged from “Wendy's” The fast food name sake of the wife and mother they had chained to a dumpster, skirt around her ankles.

They had discovered that the “Children's Toy” handcuffs, relics from a time when parents bought metal toy handcuffs in dollar stores safety mechanism had been disabled. You could ordinarily flip a switch with your free finger and cause the latch to unlock. It seemed Bill had modified the cuffs, so that was no longer an option.

The two Taylor women, Wendy and Jamie had their chance to have a good talk while they awaited the men to finish dinner. They were still deciding how to best approach their new found status in the house. There were a lot of ways they could react to the turnaround.

--They could go at it kicking and screaming, dragging their feet. But then, the Men would soon tire of their many excuses and the rift would still exist in the family. Having already come this far and made this many sacrifices of their pride, this didn't seem like a viable option. Although from time to time, it did cross their mind to call it quits.

--They could pretend to be bubble headed extroverts, who got off on this situation, and actually encouraged the men to be as outrageous as possible. There were a lot of ways that could backfire, the most obvious backfire was encouraging the men to be as outrageous as possible may actually make them do it!! They thought though this strategy could if played right, take some of the fun out of it for them. Kind of like a peeping tom who looks in the window of an extrovert. Cancels out their secret joys of voyeurism if the peeper is aware and doesn't care.

--They could play it like they have been. Trying to keep a stiff upper lip, be positive, face the challenges head on, but also put their foot down about the things they would and wouldn't do it. Get through this, with as much dignity as they can, their job and school life not in shambles, and their friends not thinking the worst of them. This is the happy medium between the other two strategies. They'd have to grin and bear many indignities, and take their medicine like big girls, but they didn't have to like it all.

Ultimately, they decided the third option seemed like the best strategy, at least for now. that is why when the Taylor men came walking up, they had big smiles on their face as they carried a sack of take out. Jamie and Wendy both had their free hand up behind them.

“Thumbs are all the way up your butts?” Bill said, his eyes wide with surprise. “I didn't think you'd do it.....anyone actually come by?”

Wendy joked “Yah, a masked bandit, but he ran away....may we take our thumbs out of our rear ends, Sirs?”

Bill wasn't sure what she meant about the bandit, if it was a joke or not. He had no idea about the raccoon. “Not yet, on the thumbs. We'll check to see if they are all the way in...no fair trying to work them in further now....when you finish eating you can have them.”

“Yah, some chocolate for some chocolate” Chris smiled. He was quickly starting to seem like Beavis, from Beavis and Butthead to Wendy who just smiled knowingly.

They dropped two unwrapped double-stack burgers from the 99 cents menu on the ground, and when the girls followed their descent to the ground, they winced. These were two grease covered hamburgers, covered in trans-fat cheese with the worst of ingredients, as unhealthy as a cross to a vampire to them.

Then Chris and Bill having obviously planned for effect, stomped on the burgers, making a loud noise and causing Wendy and Jamie's eyes to dart around. The men were fine, but the women still had their skirts around their ankles, revealing sun kissed butts and sore pussies.

Each of the men picked up one of the hamburgers, and unwrapped it, hand feeding it to Wendy and Jamie, sometimes switching burgers to the other girls mouth. They seemed to be having fun with it.

A young black Wendy's employee cleared his throat, he was pulling a large industrial sized rubber garbage bag to the dumpster. He wasn't sure what he was looking at.  

“RAPE?” he asked the women, prepared to run for help.

Jamie was the first to break the fours stunned silence “No, it's just my father and brother, playing a game.”

Chris and Bill looked at her with a new found respect, she could have easily made them sound like awful people, even had them arrested. It cemented for Bill at least that Jamie was sincere about wanting to go through with this.

The kid was about to dart anyway, mumbling something about “Crackers be crazy” possibly bring back authorities.

Wendy calm as a cucumber added “Yes Sir, we aren't allowed to eat inside, would you like to stay and help feed us?” assuming rather shrewdly of the two options, him running and calling the law or him staying after he has already seen them shackled to the dumpster, skirts around their ankles, what would it hurt if he continued to see more.

Bill and Chris's turn to be stunned. Since they each held a half-eaten burger, Chris offered some of those new sea-salt fries to the employee. They were long since cold, part of the men's desire for payback. However, there was something beginning to emerge in Chris and Bill that they couldn't quite pin the words down on what it was. Neither of them were willing to say it out loud to each other or anyone either. However, there was now starting to be a begrudging respect for Wendy and Jamie that they were willing to put their fannies in the fryer, and even be such good sports about something like this.

Bill wasn't sure if he would have done the same, had he been cuffed to the dumpster.

The young man approached the ladies, holding out a few fries, like one might hold out a steak to a hungry lioness. Gingerly, almost as if he was afraid of them, approaching cautiously. Jamie and Wendy had stopped chewing their hamburger and were awaiting him to walk up to them and pick one of their mouths to stuff a few of the gross, cold, salty fries into their mouths.

“Why they don't feed themselves”

“Well, as you can see.” Bill explained “One hand had to be cuffed to the dumpster, so they don't get into mischief and run around while we ate inside...and of course the other hand, they've put their thumb up their butt.”

“Why they do that?” the young man whose name tag said “Reggie” on it asked trying to put two french fries into Jamie's mouth. She was desperately trying to pull them from his fingers, almost with comic effect, because he had locked his fingers around them, afraid to make eye contact with the lovely blonde teenager he was feeding.

“Because they want to have a chocolate Frosty” as if it made perfect sense in the world and directing the two girls to show him their thumbs, before dunking their upraised thumb into a Frosty jr. that had been bought for each of them on the off-chance they decided to go through with Chris's request.

Reggie's eyes just got big, big, bigger, expanding so that the whites of his eyes were like big marshmallows on his dark face. Chris then proceeded to pour one frosty in each open mouth to the women who now had their thumbs out and free, before pouring the top half on their heads, running chocolate frozen treat in rivulets down the hair they had only just done an hour ago.

“Oops, it slipped.....”

“Oh you crazy!!...SWAG!!” Reggie ran. It seemed like a good time for them to uncuff the girls and let them pull up their skirts and run too.

Bill chiding Chris “Chris, we were only going to pour the frostys on them if they hadn't put the thumbs up their butts!! They were being really good....they even helped with that guy....” Bill was pissed when he got into the truck.

Unlike Jamie and Wendy who had never lost their cool when they were the boss, preferring to calmly discuss what few disagreements they had privately, Bill and Chris were new at this. Dressing down Chris and revealing their plans, not very wise Wendy thought to herself.

“But...it seemed like it would be funny!!” Chris defended

“Yah, true...but now they are going to get Frosty goo all up in the car...and we were supposed to go to the pet store, and stop by the motel, I want to see if I can get some of my stuff out of hock.”

“Master Bill” Wendy said with the frosty running down her eyes, it was hard to tell if there was a look of bemused merriment like a high school who was running from a prank on her face, with all the cream running down her face. “I thought you said we had to give up some things, stop our old life.”

“Yah, that is you...our butts aren't the ones in trouble, yours are....you'll lick all the frosty out of this truck interior if you spill a drop..” disappointing Wendy who had hoped by now he would have learned from his “Do as I say, not as I do” attitude, and set an example, that he too could give up his past. She didn't expect him to have to be the one with skirt around his ankles like her, but as far as symbolic gestures of contrition to move forward, well...she just hoped he was going to grow some, but some people just don't change. Oh shit, he is talking to me, she thought to herself. She was lost again in her own thoughts.

“WELL?” Bill said

“Sir?” Wendy asked back.

“You two will lick the frosty off each others head, while me and Chris go inside the pet store, Rosco's out of food, and we need some things for you guys....”

“Happy too sir” she wasn't happy too, especially because she knew her hair had a lot of hair spray in it but she wasn't sure what else she could say, its not like had given her much of a choice.

The two of them made a half-assed attempt to get clean by licking each others hair, causing only one guy (that she was aware of) to stop right in front of the truck, look inside the windshield and offer a thumbs up “Oh yeah!” to what he thought must be two lesbians making out.

Prompting Jamie to offer a mock “Thumbs up” back, with that kind of goofy smile, of someone who doesn't really mean it.

After a few minutes Chris and Bill returned with some bags “You should have had to carry the bags!” to which the girls agreed. They started for home, with Bill and Chris not entirely satisfied with the outing.  When they got about a block from their house in the suburbs Bill stopped “Okay, ladies..out, you can walk the rest of the way.”

“But Sir, the frosty is dried in our hair.” Wendy pleaded.

“Yeah, you should have done a better job of licking it out, now you two have to live with your mistakes...sour milk frosty smell. Have fun” shoving them out of the truck, and announcing that if they don't hustle their way home, they will be paddled severely.

“Well mom, we're free...which direction should we run?” Jamie joked as the truck drove towards their house.

“Towards home, of course..” Wendy started to jog followed by her daughter. As they picked up pace, they realized they'd need to carry their high heels. “Are you sure Dad will mind us taking off the heels?”

“How else can we get home quickly?” Wendy said, not winded at all after years of dedicated aerobics and exercise.

They passed someone they knew, one of Wendy's casual friends. Wendy's boobs were jiggling in her tube top, but Jamie had only an a-cup and not enough jiggle yet to really give away the fact she had no bra on. They both had on miniskirts though, and the oddness of their dried dirty hair, obviously caught their friends attention. They heard “Heytherewhatareyoudoing?” the words all strung together rapidly, because they didn't bother to stop to explain.

When they arrived at the house, the men were waiting inside for them sitting on the couch.

“Here...unload the truck, then you can strip.” Bill wasn't surprised both of them had jogged and weren't even out of breath. He knew they were in prime shape.

“Shall we also take out all the piles of garbage sir? It's starting to add up” Wendy reminded him about the piles of garbage from the party last night, and all the stuff they threw away from their rooms.

“No, I was thinking some of your stuff, I may donate to goodwill or something, not sure yet...and I want you to take that other stuff to the curve when its daylight out.”

“Hey before you go” Chris stopped them “Let me smell your thumbs” the girls offered the thumbs with a sort of “What the fuck? expression” and Chris gave them a strong sniff. “These don't smell like buttcheese.”

“Well...I'd hope not” Wendy said a little flabbergasted.

“You know why I wanted you to stick your thumbs up your butts?”

“Because you aren't right?” Wendy smirked, half-joking and half-serious.

“No, because you are pains in my butt.....so I wanted you to see how it feels, symbolic.” he paused for a second “I noticed how when I told you to walk out naked in goodwill you didn't, but you were willing to be naked infront of the man at goodwill AND stick your thumbs up your ass, AND let him know that you did. Why?”

Wendy thought for a second, but Jamie answered “It's probably because even though you are our boss, in one scenario at the Goodwill, you just told us to do something..outrageous, and there was no give or take. At the Dumpster, we wanted to amuse you, but also you offered us a Frosty....and as for the boy Reggie...well, if we didn't play along, he would have ran for help and we'd all have to explain ourselves to cops or news, so it seemed he'd already saw our game, or whatever you'd call it....may as well, help...we our doing our best here to make amends Sir”

“You are a good sister, I love you Jamie” said Chris and he offered an extended hug to Jamie who awkwardly accepted, half expecting a noogie, or him to yank her skirt off given the last day's events.

Wendy stood there waiting for her hug. “Oh you two Mom, I love you...I just have some things to work out I guess...”

“I understand sir, may we go unload the truck?” they were granted permission, but first they were introduced to their “Collars”.

A pink for Jamie and a purple for Wendy “To match your nipples, as best we could..” they were otherwise matching, little fake diamond encrusted collar with a break-away snap in the back, it had a bell on the front hanging down. “Oh thank you for the necklace”

“Don't thank me, That was Chris's idea, I wanted something more like a big dog's collar, spiked and black leather.”

Chris laughed “Heavy metal mama and  Punk Rock Sista!!” he sang his words imitating a rock star delivering a high note in a song. “But these were prettier, plus they ring where you go, so you can't sneak up on me.”

Wendy and Jamie went out there house, but stopped short. It was Wendy's friend, Mrs Waxerman and she was heading for their door. “I saw you two jogging, what on earth happened to your hair!!”

“Oh, some birds flew over head” Jamie lied. The idea that birds could expel that much bird poop at once and hit both of them made Wendy almost crack up, but she kept a straight face and agreed with her daughter about the completely outrageous lie they just inferred.

“Birds? Oh my....I've never....well, I guess I just don't understand why you are dressed like...this provocatively?” Mrs Waxerman, a woman only in her early fifties seemed to be completely shocked.

“Is it not Halloween?” Wendy smiled, carrying the idea of telling a complete fib a bit beyond plausibility. Mrs Waxerman now knew they were both playing with her.

“Did you hold a party with alcohol here last night? Jamie's turn to smile “You know that we did! And me and my mom bartended in our bikinis...it was out of sight”. Jamie used some slang that teenagers hadn't used since Mrs Waxerman was a kid, to drive home the fact that they didn't seem to be worried about her opinion.

“Oh wickedness!!” Mrs Waxerman was shocked “I will pray for you!!”

After she left while they were unloading Wendy pointed out “You know we probably shouldn't have done that.” thinking out loud to Jamie “Mrs Waxerman is on the Homeowners Association Board, and she'll gossip horribly.”

“You are right, I guess I was just feeling silly..” Jamie added making a funny face

“I know, me too..I can't stand all her hypocrisy, could you imagine if she knew we were doing this to let the men get even with us? I bet she wouldn't have the courage”

“No, definitely not...Did you see the look on her face, when I said birds must have pooped in our hair?”

“Oh, I almost lost it, Jamie....but seriously though, we probably need to be on the same page about explanations, if people catch us in compromising situations. We need to give the same basic answers.”

“I thought we did good, you sort of played along, partners in crime”

“Oh yah, and some times we will have too..it's just we probably could have played it straight with Mrs Waxerman and she'd have maybe left us alone.”

“What fun would that be?”  Jamie smiled. Wendy started to wonder if Chris wasn't the only one
right in the head”.

Maybe, just maybe it's all four of us...imperfect as we are, none of us are right in the head. She smiled thinking to herself as they carried in their bags and fed Rosco in the backyard.