A Pointless Existence

A Pointless Existence [ a short story ] by andy28_rl@yahoo.co.uk

Thought I would try a short story for a change …occasionally, I scare and amaze myself when I read back what my fiendish mind has written:  let me know your reaction to the story !

Why me ?  It’s a question I have asked myself often.  I have nothing else to do other than ask questions now.  But still I can’t understand why fate has placed me here.  Why any other human being would want to do this to a fellow human being.  I have come to understand and accept my fate.  That my life as a human being is over, and that my fate is sealed.  But I can never accept it.  It is all so unfair.  A promising life is over.  God damn it, more than that.  My life is over.  My life as a normal man has been taken away from me at the whim of someone else, and I am completely powerless to do anything about it.

I could almost understand it – no, I will never understand it –if I had done something wrong.  If I had deserved my fate, then maybe I could in some way accept it.  But he told me – the one time that I saw him and spoke to him – that I should understand I had done nothing wrong.  That he just wanted to own another man, and keep him forever in bondage.  To waste his life in total isolation and helpless suffering.  He told me that he had watched me at the swimming pool, had watched me shower afterwards.  That he liked my body and my face and that he wanted me as his victim.

I was Tom.  I was a 22 year old athlete.  District Swimming Champion.  I had just finished my studies to become an architect and just proposed to my girlfriend.  Life was good.  I had a lot to look forward to.  It can only have been months ago, but it seems another world now.  Another life.

Are they still looking for me after all this time ?  I often wonder if I am still a part of their lives – my friends, my girlfriend – or if they don’t think about me any more.  In time my memory will fade completely.  It will be accepted that I am gone forever.  And yet I live on, helplessly imprisoned.  Their lives will go on.  They will see the sunshine, taste the fine foods and enjoy the niceties of life.  Sure, they will be tinged with a sense of loss at my disappearance.  But their lives will be lived.  Not like mine.

It was one evening when I left the pool, dark outside, that my life changed forever.  I was returning to my car, parked in the back street, when I felt a prick through my jeans and into my arse.  I turned around and crumpled to the ground.  I was aware of what was happening, but my body would not respond.  I watched through my still, glassy eyes as he dragged me to a nearby van and heaved me into the back.

My brain was in turmoil.  What was happening ?  Where was I going ?  Who had done this ? Why would anyone do this to me ?  I had no enemies.

We drove for only minutes.  My current location is near to my old life.  I could no doubt jog from where I am now to my family and friends.  To freedom.  I feel sure that, were I to be set free, I would know the location on sight.  He carried me from the van over his shoulder and into a small terraced house.  Unremarkable.  Normal.  My glazed eyes noticed the tidy garden and I heard the attention seeking cry of a cat as I entered his kitchen through the rear door.  He appeared to be a normal guy, a model citizen.

We paused in the hallway as he opened the cupboard under the stairs.  I noticed the heaviness of the door, clearly metal.  “Soundproofed,” he stated, in a matter-of-fact voice.  The first word he had uttered.  A bare bulb illuminated a set of steps and we moved down them, me dribbling spit down his shoulder as I watched the world disappear above me.

We entered a cellar, illuminated by a single bare bulb.  The cellar was dusty, unused.  A bare room without windows, whitewashed and stark.  He lifted me off his shoulder and sat me down on a red plastic chair.  Turning his back to me, he walked away into the corner and I watched his large frame as he disappeared from my field of vision.  Still I could not move, though my brain screamed at my muscles to escape.

He reappeared in front of me and I realised that he was behind a pane of glass.  As my eyes attempted to focus, I could see that he was stood in front of me inside a large metal container, with a glass window, that occupied the centre of the room.  He knocked on the glass and waved at me, taunting my inability to move, before disappearing again.

Now he came directly before me again and sat on a chair facing me.  I looked at his face for the first time.  I had no idea who he was.  Just a normal man.  In his early thirties, a small beard and a heavy frame.  Unremarkable.  I could have passed him in the street many times.  His eyes bored into mine.  I knew that my life was in his hands.

“I want you to know that I have chosen you carefully.  I have looked for my boy for a long time, and I chose you because I liked your body and your face.  It doesn’t really matter, but I thought I would choose someone who I found attractive to be my boy.”

I stared into his eyes, trying to move my unresponding muscles with no success and struggling to understand the words spoken with such calm and sincerity.

“This is the only time you will ever see me, but I wanted you to know who has done this to you.  I want you to remember my face and know that it was me who took away your life boy.  You have done nothing wrong, nothing to deserve this.  I just want to own another man.  I want to keep you as my prisoner for the rest of your life.  Just because I can.”

I could not comprehend what he was saying.  I wanted to scream.  I forced out a grunt and a sigh, and he laughed.  Looking back, I wonder now what I would have said.   What questions I would have asked.  If I would have begged for my freedom.

“Time for you to go home now.  Time for my boy to meet his new world.  The place where you will live for the rest of your life.”

He picked me up again and carried me over to the metal container.  Pulling back the heavy entrance, he carried me inside and laid me on the floor.  I rolled my eyes around in fright at the dull metal inside of the container, and then back again at my captor.

Wordlessly, he removed my boots and then my socks.  Without a pause, he pulled up my tshirt, over my arms and then over my head.  Breathing heavily, with excitement it seemed to me, he undid my belt and pulled down my jeans.  I shivered in fear and disbelief as he grabbed at my briefs and pulled them off to leave me sprawled naked before him.  With a grunt, he picked up my clothes and tossed them out of the door before turning back to me and pushing me onto my back.  I laid there naked before him, and felt the shame and humiliation of my total helplessness.  Exposed naked on the floor.

He took a minute to run his eyes over my naked body, before he turned behind him and grabbed something from the floor.  “Time to get you dressed boy.  The clothes I give you now will be all you get to wear for the rest of your life.”  He grinned at me, before sitting astride my chest.  I saw the glint of steel and felt the cold of something around my neck.  He was placing a thick metal collar around my neck.   Wordlessly, he pushed me onto my side and my eyes watered at the flashes of a soldering iron.  I felt a burning heat at the back of my neck, and the collar was soldered in place for life.

Next he lifted my right leg in the air, and I watched as a thick steel band was placed around my ankle.  Like my neck, it was locked shut for life and I watched as he attached some iron chain to my manacle.  I felt my leg being placed somewhere and more soldering, but at that stage did not understand the significance.

“Only one more item of clothing for you boy I’m afraid.”

I could only lie there, my face towards the ceiling of my metal prison as it was pushed upwards by my collar.  Lie there as I felt him place a thick metal band around my waist.  I felt my penis being pushed downwards into a tube and felt it pushed between my legs before another soldering action locked the belt in place.

“Just in case you are wondering boy, that’s a very heavy metal chastity belt locked on.  You will never feel your cock again, it’s locked between your legs.  Hope you had a wank today boy, as you will never ever have another.  Don’t want you enjoying your new life in any way I’m afraid.”

I lay there in disbelief as he tidied away his tools, exiting the container.  Could this be for real ?  How could this possibly be happening to me ?  I was in a state of shock and I could not comprehend the enormity of what was happening to me.  Why was he speaking in such gentle tones and yet sentencing me to a life of constant nakedness and imprisonment ?

Finally, he re-entered the container and stood above me, his body towering over my chest.  “Well, I guess it’s goodbye boy.  I will be watching you and feeding you and cleaning you, but you will never see me again.  Just know that I own you completely boy, and you will never ever taste freedom again.” He smiled viciously at me, turned his back and exited the container.

I watched in amazement as the door was slammed shut behind him, hearing the heavy duty locking devices slide into place before I heard the sound of the soldering iron welding me into my prison.

It was several hours before I could move enough to sit up.  Enough to run my fingers around the tight metal collar around my neck, that keeps my head facing forwards.  Enough to find the heavy metal chain that binds my ankle to a sturdy metal ring in the centre of the container and allows me only a metre circle of freedom in which to move.  Enough to explore my chastity device and realise the cruelty of a device that has my penis encased in heavy steel between my legs, forever.  Enough to explore the heavy metal container intimately and discover that there is absolutely no hope of escape ever.  The pure metal surrounds me, apart from a metre square window made of frosted glass, through which an opaque dim light casts some light into my dark and dismal world.

That was months ago.  I don’t know exactly how long ago.  It didn’t seem to serve any purpose in counting the days after a while.  Maybe a year ago.  I don’t know.  A year of my life wasted, living naked in chains in a metal box.  Never released.  Never seeing my captor.  Never hearing any noise, or seeing anything except for my dull prison.  Never having any form of contact, any form of mental relief from my constant imprisonment.  Always aware of my pointless existence as owned property, locked away for the amusement of my owner.

I have come to accept that I rely on him completely.  Once a day, he drops a large cube of ice through a hinged opening near the roof.  Ice that forms my drink and an iced cube of mush – my food.  I suck on the ice cube for my life, and eat the mushy food when it thaws.  Eat it from my hands so that it does not land on the filthy floor.  I think it is dog food.  It never changes.

I piss and shit in my cell.  On the floor like an animal.  I have no toilet.  I can never be released for cleaning, and so I learn to live, to eat and sleep in my own waste.  To lie in my own shit and feel it caked on my body, and between my filthy toes.  I come to relish the day every so often when the cell is flushed out with cold water through an opening for the jet washer.  When I can watch my shit drain away below me and I have a briefly clean world.

I stink of piss and shit.  My matted hair and full beard are filthy, as is my naked body.  My mouth is never clean of the dog food, my taste buds never used to taste real food or drink anything but a block of ice.  I have never seen anything outside of my cell, the frosted toughened glass give me no glimpse of the outside.   I sometimes see shadows at the window.  I know that he can see inside through the one way mirror of the glass.  He can watch my misery and total isolation.  He watches my life waste away for no reason, and I am sure it gives him great pleasure.  No doubt he enjoys a good wank, watching me.

I wonder how long I can survive like this.  Total boredom.  No reason to think.  Nothing but memories to think about, but memories that cause me pain as I remember what it was like to be a man.  Why me ?  It is so, so unfair.  My cock tries to erect in its tight chastity tube but I can never have the freedom of ejaculation, of feeling my cock.  That would be freedom.  I am not allowed any form of freedom, I have come to realise.  My future will forever be a wasted life, locked naked in chains inside a metal prison of a can for no reason.

As I lie here naked in misery, I dream of one day being discovered.  Of someone entering the cellar, seeing this filthy piece of flesh and realising I am a man and not an animal.  Not a piece of meat to watch through a window.  I dream of one day being free again.  Maybe it will happen.  There is a chance.  Maybe you will find me.  Maybe I am living in the cellar next door to you.  Please come and find me.  Please, I beg you.  Please let me free.