A slave's Retrospective

Kneeling there lost in my thoughts I had come to realise something. I had begun to think of myself as something less than human. I had no idea when it first happened but it was none the less exciting. I had been a slave for almost a year now and had done many things that I would never have dreamed of. What had excited me the most was not that I had done all these things or even that I had the most beautiful woman you could imagine doing said things to me. What was most exciting was that I had entered into them of my own free will.

 

I had always enjoyed 'experimenting' in the bedroom; however I had found that not everyone is. A little over year ago I met a woman with whom I was instantly infatuated. However, I have always been reticent with women and did not ask her out immediately. We did however become very close friends. After about a month I finally did ask Faith out and found, to my surprise, that she had similar feelings. Our relationship flourished with such a strong friendship as a foundation and soon enough we had become very intimate with one another. One evening when we were deep in one of our frequent and marathon conversations we began to discuss fantasies. Seeing how uneasy she was I told her that she could trust me not to tell anyone else and that nothing could change my feelings toward her. After a while she did tell me of her fantasies of dominating someone. Eager to learn more, as always, I asked her more about domination and submission. She started explaining what she had learnt from internet sources and previous encounters with former lovers. As if spurred on by the fact I had shown an interest, she asked if I would be willing to be her submissive for an evening. Given how much I already trusted her and my own fondness for experimentation I agreed. We discussed the topic some more and agreed to explore the safest way to experiment and set a date for one week's time.

 

A week later in the morning my lover began to discuss that evening's events. We agreed on a safe word and our limits all before I left for work. Faith had booked that day off to prepare the house for later that evening. I cannot really say that I was nervous or had any feelings during that day because I truly loved and trusted her. Even on my way home my mind only wandered as far as what we might eat for dinner. As it turned out that thought was redundant we wouldn't be having dinner. As I walked through the front door I put my keys on the hook as always and hung my coat on the rack. Proceeding up stairs as normal I went into the bedroom to get showered and changed as usual. It was when I sat on my bed that I saw a note that had been left out for me.

 

I am downstairs. You will undress, shower,

dry off and come downstairs naked. You

will kneel in the middle of the living room

and wait for my instructions. Or ELSE!

F xxx

 

Per Faith's instructions I showered, dried and went downstairs and knelt on the floor. At that moment she appeared from the kitchen. From the smell wafting from the kitchen she had been eating her dinner. Laying her eyes upon me I could she how pleased and excited she was. She walked over to a plain brown box and removed a black leather collar and cuffs all about 2 inches wide. Walking over to me she placed the collar around my neck and proceeded to lock it with a small padlock. She then placed a cuff on each arm and ankle. Walking back to the box she removed a leash.

'Tonight you are my slave you will do whatever I tell you.'

Attaching the leash to the collar she told me to stay kneeling in the same position until she returned. Again she used the phrase 'or else!' almost challenging or daring me to move. Not wanting to disappoint her and wanting to see how far I could push the boundary, I moved a few inches to the right and stayed there until she returned.

 

When Faith did return after about 10 minutes I was lost in my thoughts about how uncomfortable the collar was and how unnatural it felt with my wrists and ankles cuffed. Even being naked felt slightly odd. Yet whilst I knew that it was...unorthodox, it was also interesting in a way I had not known before. When I finally realised that Faith was standing in the doorway it would be fair to say that she looked breathtaking. She was wearing a new dress that was black, ankle length, with a slit up to her mid thigh on both sides and a rather low, but not too low neckline. Because the dress was so well fitting she looked more incredible than ever before. Her presence even seemed greater somehow, though that could have been because I was naked and her submissive for the evening. The look on her face also told me everything I needed, she knew I had moved and was wearing a rather playful, if not cruel, look.

'I told you not to move. Now I shall have to punish you.'

From her box she removed a gag, a thin chain and paddle. Clutching the leash she pulled at the collar.

'You will follow on your hands and knees.'

She led me by the leash into the kitchen where she proceeded to secure me bottom up to a kitchen chair. She then began to tease me with just the lightest of touches down my back and up my legs. Leaning in close from behind, she whispered.

'Ten smacks I think. And just to make sure there is no noise...'

Faith thrust the ball of the gag into my mouth and fastened the strap behind my head. She proceeded to administer my punishment, and again I drifted into my thoughts. It was with some surprise that I wondered how erotic I had found the last half hour. I also wondered what would be in store for the rest of the evening. With that all ten smacks had been administered and Faith was releasing me from the chair and commanding me to kneel in front of her. In a hushed tone she spoke.

'That was just a warning, next time it will be fifty.' Her lips formed a playful smile and she took the leash once more and led me on my hands and knees back to the living room quite forcefully.

 

In the living room Faith instructed me to kneel just in front of the sofa where she had seated herself. Pulling my head closer with the leash she removed the gag and placed it close to hand. She then pushed my head below her dress with her hand and told me that I knew what to do. Noticing she was not wearing knickers presumably for this purpose I 'got to work' as it were. Gently at first and then carefully going about the business, I found myself once again lost in thought. How natural this was all starting to feel, the collar, which at first felt uncomfortable now felt as if it belonged there, the cuff also emphasising that I was being used for her pleasure. I do not know how much time passed since I had become fairly engrossed in what I was doing and was more or less in the dark. When I finally was told that I had finished I knew I had done a good job, not only because of how wet my face had become but because of how satisfied Faith looked.

 

Noticing how 'excited' I was at this point Faith could not help but point it out. It was then that again on my hands and knees she led me to the bedroom by the leash. Upon reaching the bedroom she ordered me onto the bed and onto my back. Doing as I was told I noticed straps that had not previously been there. Tying each limb to a corner of the bed she proceeded to make sure each strap and cuff was tight enough that I could not escape, or even wriggle much. With that done she began to lightly tease me. Seeing my frustration at just light touches across my body she decided to increase the teasing by playing with my penis. Several times she brought me right to the edge only to leave me there. With my level of frustration peaking I began to beg for 'release'. At that moment I thought that she had taken pity on me because she began to roll a condom onto my penis and then mounted my. Taking every opportunity she again brought me right to the edge and left me. Finally, she told me that I must ask for release. In a less begging tone I gave her what she wanted. I asked for consent to ejaculate.

'Of course you may come.'

With that she skillfully brought both of us to climax.

 

What cannot have been too much later I opened my eyes after a short kip to recover from an awesome experience I realised that something was different. I was still tied to the bed but could see and feel that there was something on my penis.

'That..' Faith began. 'Is what is known as gates of hell. It will prevent you from becoming hard.'

From what I could see she was not lying a series of rings that were already pretty tight around my penis would mean that my penis would not be getting hard anytime soon.

'Now I want to go out for a while, so whilst I am out you are to clean the kitchen. You were asleep for a few hours so that will be part of your punishment. The other part will be those fifty smacks we talked about.'

So far nothing sounded too bad. Anyway fifty couldn't be too much worse than ten strokes.

'Oh and you will be wearing this!'

Faith produced a French maid's outfit that I had bought for her last year. She began to loosen my arms and legs and watched me dress. Until I put on the outfit I had not actually realised how similar in size Faith and myself were, apart from the breasts of course. Once I had dressed in the outfit she produced some flat black shoes.

'Now that's better. You shall clean the kitchen top to bottom and you will not remove any item of clothing. If you fail to follow my instructions it shall be 100 smacks when I return!'

Now feeling completely emasculated Faith led me by the collar, walking this time down into the kitchen. When we reached the kitchen she pointed out the laptop and camera that would record my cleaning. She also instructed that I should kneel on the floor once I had finished. With that she left.

 

Once I had finished my task I did as instructed and knelt on the floor waiting for Faith's return. Unfortunately, because of the fact there were three different clocks in the room no matter where I looked there was some reminder of just how slow time can pass. What felt like three hours had only been one and by now I was rather stiff. However, the collar was now feeling even more natural than ever. Not knowing what time Faith would be back had only made it worse. When she finally did return I was once again lost in my thoughts.

'The kitchen is gleaming well done. But we now have something else to take care of...'

Fast forwarding through the video captured by the camera she saw that I had not left the room and smiled.

'Well done! It'll only be fifty then!'

This time she didn't bother to secure me to the chair. By now I was responding almost on an instinctual level. Lying across the chair Faith administered my belated punishment. This time however, my penis was stung as it tried to expand within it's binding. However, soon enough the smacks were done with. This time though my backside stung, I remember thinking that fifty was definitely worse than ten.

 

Seizing the leash Faith had me once more on my hands and knees following her upstairs. Again she tied me down to the corners of the bed. This time she lowered herself onto my face and had me perform my deed. After she had climaxed she decided to remove the binding on my penis and in doing so gave it the room to harden. Rolling on condom she whispered.

'Don't forget to ask my permission to come.'

Taking a moment I realised that even now, still wearing the maid's outfit and tied to the bed, asking for permission to climax, I was exhilarated. As Faith mounted me and explosive sexual encounter ensued. When we were done Faith removed my bindings and collar and simply whispered.

'Thank you.'

 

We had many more nights like that one. I even tried dominating Faith, however it seemed that just as she was a born dominant I was a born submissive. About a month after these events we had sat down and discussed a longer term arrangement. By then we had been to two 'munches' and bought quite a few 'toys'. Having seen a contract online Faith had printed out with a few edits. Showing it to me she asked me whether I would be her submissive 24/7. Worried about how this would affect work I broached the question.

'You could work from home, become self employed. We could try it for a month and if it doesn't work out then we could go back to what we do now.'

Looking through the contract and listening to what she was saying I knew Faith had put a great deal of thought into it. After many questions I agreed for one month. We agreed that after I had worked my month's notice I would sign the contract and be her full time submissive for one month.

 

 

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Part 2, My First Week

As the day grew nearer there were a few things that I looked forward to, the first being wearing a collar all the time. Whilst this might sound odd, every time Faith removed it after we had 'played' it always felt like something fundamental was missing. I actually couldn't wait for the feel of the collar as it was locked around my neck. However, the complete surrendering of myself to Faith for an entire month was almost overwhelming. What if it went wrong? What if there was an accident? Fleeting thoughts, but important none the less. Faith was in the position where she could actually take a month's holiday. So with one whole month to ourselves and no real work needing to be done, we were both excited beyond belief.

 

We woke on that morning, as we always did, early. Knowing that after breakfast my 24/7 submission would begin I decided to please Faith by getting it out of the way as soon and as quickly as possible. If I'd have known then what would happen over the next month I might have taken a little more time. After we had cleared away the plates and food we sat down at the kitchen table and looked over the contract, checked our list of limits and agreed our safe words. When we were both happy we signed our agreements and contract. Faith then explained that I would not be wearing a normal collar until she had trained me properly. She explained that she would be giving me signals that would mean I was to assume a position or perform some act or other. To my surprise she did actually give me a collar to wear, but it came with a catch...it was an electro-shock dog training collar. Faith explained that instead of wasting time on whipping/smacking me for not obeying her, a shock would do the job quicker and with less effort on her part.

 

Still fairly excited Faith led me into the living room. She first instructed me never to sit on any furniture. I was told that from here on in I would kneel on the floor. With that she told me to kneel and because I was not quick enough she emphasised her point with a push of the button in her hand. The collar sent a jolt through me, making me clench. Now kneeling Faith instructed me that I should always place my hands behind me at the small of my back. I should also only look ahead never any other direction. I received another jolt from the collar followed by the instruction not to slouch. I immediately correct myself. This position I was told would the position I would return to after any task or when I was told to kneel. Following that position I was instructed in a few more and received a few more jolts. I was also instructed how to walk, stand and position myself when given other commands.

 

When my 'training' was finished I was led upstairs where I was told to strip. After I had stripped, and received a jolt or two for not stripping quick enough. I was waxed of all my body hair. With the only hair now on my head I was handed a three inch wide strip of fabric and a thin strip of leather. Faith explained that this was all that I would wear from now on. The leather strip was tied around my waist and the fabric was held over my genitals by it. When put on it looked like a loincloth. To remove the fabric all one had to do was to pull the fabric downward and the leather strip would stay in position leaving the genitals easy to access and easy to cover up should the need arise. I was then told that clothes would be a luxury and at Faith's discretion. The rest of the day was taken up with Faith introducing me to the chores I would have to do everyday. These included everything from cleaning our 'toys' to cleaning the bathroom. I was also expected to pleasure Faith three times a day.

 

That night I was introduced to my new 'sleeping arrangement'. The cupboard under the stairs had been converted by Faith to accommodate me quite comfortably. A small 4 inch by 1 inch hole had been cut to allow me to see out and a lock had been fitted incase it was required. I was told I would also be fitted with a chastity device every night to prevent me masturbating. Now both sleeping in a bed and coming had become a privilege. Unsure whether I had let myself in for more than I could handle I settled into my new cell. For some reason I cannot fathom I managed to fall asleep quite quickly. However, I was woken a few times by a jolt from my collar. It appeared as if Faith was purposely trying to push me too far. I resolved that I would bring it up with her in the morning.

 

When morning finally broke I do not know but I was woken by the jolt from the collar. The door was open so I took that as a sign that I could exit my cell. I also noticed my chastity device had been removed. I walked into the kitchen and began to reach for a box of cereal. Suddenly I felt another jolt from the collar, turning round I saw Faith with the remote in her hand.

'I'm sorry you don't eat like that anymore.'

She pointed to two dog bowls

'That is where you eat your food.'

I attempted to talk to her but as soon as my mouth opened I felt a stronger jolt than ever before from the collar.

'It has three settings. You've only experienced the first and weakest, until now!'

Slowly I got to my hands and knees and began to eat my unappetizing breakfast.

'We will be having a conversation at 11:30 today. If you have any problems then you can air them then. Until then finish your food and get on with your chores!"

 

At 11:30 sharp I was called into the dining room by a shout and a jolt from the collar. Oddly enough I was actually getting used to the damn thing. I was invited to kneel on the floor at Faith's feet. She explained that she was going to be hard on me this week to ensure that I was less likely to mess up and have to be punished during the other three weeks. She also explained that for being so good I had earnt a privilege. She explained that I could buy things with privilege, for example a night in the same bed as her was worth one privilege point. She had made up a poster and explained all the 'items'. She also explained that she still loved me and that tonight I was going to receive some more pleasant training.

 

I had finished my chores early that day and knelt in my usual place in the living room. Faith then led me upstairs.

'Tonight,' she explained, 'I will teach you how to make love to me from now on.'

Whilst the night was not free from shock from the collar it was certainly pleasurable as Faith showed some kindness and let me climax. After about two hours I was completely versed on how Faith wanted me to have sex with her. I would forever be on my back she would be on top. Simple. I was led back downstairs to my cell and locked back in my chastity device. Faith kissed me on the forehead before closing and locking the door.

 

The following day I woke fairly early and was kneeling ready when Faith arrived to unlock my cell and device. I was told to follow her upstairs where I would be trained differently today. I was told that today I would be wearing clothes and naturally my spirits lifted. However, I began to protest when I was told that it would be women's clothing.

'As you know,' Faith began, ' I don't have many girlfriends. So I'm going to teach you how to be one. Every third day you will be a woman not a man.'

Faith presented me with a corset, knickers and stockings. I put on the knickers and stockings myself but Faith helped me into the corset. It was not until then that I really realised that whilst women looked fantastic in corsets, they could hurt. Faith had also purchased breast forms which were placed inside the corset to give the impression that I had breasts. Barely able to breath Faith presented me with my next challenge, putting on shoes. With my torso rigid it was an ordeal to put on the high heeled shoes given to me by Faith. As she knew I had a bit of a shoe and foot fetish, so she had chosen closed toe ankle strap heels that I loved seeing her in. Next was the gown, it was an interesting thing very Victorian. After that I was told that I would be growing my head hair from now but until then I would wear a wig. Looking in the mirror I was quite amazed at how effeminate I looked. Under all that was me, but the only thing recognisable was the training collar. Standing and walking was a feat in itself but I was directed by Faith that it was good practice and that I'd better get used to it. The rest of that day passed quite quickly with me learning etiquette and how to act when wearing different costumes. I now had four outfits that I was told I would wear regularly, Medieval wench, French Maid, Victorian Lady and Belly Dancer. Any protests were immediately punished with a level two jolt from the collar.

 

The rest of that week followed well and I was looking forward to getting rid of the training collar in favour of something less electric. By the end of the week I had also amassed 30 privilege points that Faith insisted I spend soon. So on the last night of the first week I chose to spend in the same bed as Faith and free of the chastity device. My new Mistress also allowed me to make love to her and even though I had to beg her to climax she let me. During that last few minutes of that first week I could truly say that it had been worth it. I snuggled up to Faith and slept soundly.

 

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Part 3, My Night Out

 

The first day of the second week heralded a time I had been looking forward to, Faith removing the training collar and replacing it with a standard collar. That morning I was allowed to talk at length about the previous week's activities. Whilst there were things that I hadn't enjoyed somehow I had become heavily immersed in my role as submissive. Faith explained that she was unsure if she had pushed too hard or whether she was just being an arse. I told her that whilst I did not enjoy everything, I doubted that a submissive should like everything that he/she is told to do. During the conversation we broached the subject of limits. Our only real limits were that no real harm, drawing of blood, permanent modification, etc was allowed. Faith then asked if I would be willing to go out with me being a submissive. I remember thinking how much of a huge step it would be. After all it is one thing in private but out in the real world? It was then that Faith suggested that I go out with her as a woman. She could obviously see that this was an even more unpopular idea than the previous one. She hit her remote and I received a level 2 jolt from the collar around my neck.

'If you do this I'll remove the training collar. If you don't I'll use it for another week!'

Again I hesitated and again I received another jolt.

'With the wig and make-up no-one will recognise you!'

This time I received a third level jolt and it literally made me jump, I'd only received one so far, I think that Faith could see that the level 3 setting did hurt. In the end I agreed that I would go out with her as a woman. After all it was a 'female day' for me. I also agreed that if it worked I'd consider going out with her to a BDSM/Fetish club.

 

That night Faith was as good as her word, she removed the training collar, for a while anyway. She decided that I should dress in a women's skirt suit, it was quite conservative and was comfortable. With make-up and the very good wig I did actually look good. I was surprised by just how much I looked like a woman. Before we left Faith did add one thing, reaching under the skirt she attached the training collar to the top of the thigh.

'Just in case there is any mischief!'

After not leaving the house in a week the fresh air was nice, I had also gotten used to walking in heels so even that was not too bad. I was instructed not to talk to anyone with out permission. As we got into the car I made the mistake of asking where we were going, receiving a level 2 shock for my trouble. Even to this day I can't decide whether it hurt more there or round the neck.

 

We pulled up outside a restaurant that I recognised was one that my old colleagues used to frequent. Waving the remote under my nose Faith warned me not to speak unless I was given permission. I just prayed that no-one from my former workplace was there this evening. To my relief we were quickly shown to our table and so would not have been spotted by anyone I would have known. However, Faith must have recognised someone as she sent me to the bar to buy her a drink. I walked as I had been taught to the bar and spoke my order in a soft tone to the barman. It was then that I realised that the gentleman standing next to me was my old boss. He looked me deep in the eyes before speaking.

'Hey baby, you looking for somethin' sweet?'

He the grabbed my arse as I walked back to our table. Faith looked at me surprised.

'Well done, see I was right! I'm always right.'

To be fair to her Faith had always been right even before I began submitting to her but now she was right whatever. With that I agreed to go to a club with her.

 

When we arrived home Faith immediately ordered me to change out of the clothes I was wearing and put on my loincloth. With that she produced a hood with eye and mouth holes that could be zipped up.

'I picked this up especially for tonight you know'

Faith had also changed she was now wearing a beautiful black leather corset and long black leather skirt. She removed the training collar from around my thigh and placed it back on my neck.

'Just in case?' I enquired.

A jolt from the collar was enough to say 'yes'. Faith bundled me into the car after putting a long but thin black skirt on me. She had also put a new cuff on my right wrist. It was a leather cuff with a metal label saying 'Property of Faith' and was padlocked onto me.

 

We pulled up in the car park of the club and I gingerly followed Faith on a leash. Whilst I couldn't see much out of the restrictive headwear I was sure that the bouncer had recognised Faith which meant that she had been planning this for a while. When we arrived inside Faith was met by a very domineering looking woman. They exchanged pleasantries and then the lady handed Faith some chips or coins. Faith handed her my leash and collar remote.

'I see you still have him on a training collar.' Commented the lady.

'Yes, he was a little difficult to get here.'

With that the woman led me away to some cages. I was completely confused and had no idea what was going on. Never the less I was excited, very excited. I would not be kept in the cage long before Faith and another few women passed through the area of the club with the cages.

'Now ladies, you all have the same amount of chips. You may bid on any slave in tonight's auction but you must abide by the rules that the true owner has set out.'

The thing I did next I would later regret but I couldn't keep quiet. I shouted, enquiring why I was in a cage, what was going to happen etc. I received three level three shocks from my collar courtesy of the lady who had put me in the cage. Needless to say I didn't open my mouth without say so the rest of the night.

 

I stayed in the cage for at least half an hour, until two new ladies dragged me toward the stage area of the club was. My hands were cuffed sometime between being pulled out of the cage and arriving at the stage. On the stage was a podium and a metal frame with a hook at it's apex. The chain between my wrists was fastened to the hook so that I half stood, half hung in place. The first lady, the one who met Faith at the entrance addressed the audience. Much to my surprise that hood was finally removed as well as the skirt. I hung there in just my loincloth with a horrified expression. The lady then began to auction me off. Giving details about my weight and height and even my penis size women started bidding. Eventually I was sold to a rather slim, stern looking lady who I was told to address as Ms. V. The auctioneer ordered the ladies who had escorted me to the stage to take me to room 3 and cuff me there.

 

Room 3 turned out to be quite well stocked. There was a bed, cage, spanking bench and St. Andrew's cross. My escorts shoved me into the cage and pulled my hands through the bars. My hands were then cuffed together meaning that there was no way to escape. A jolt from my collar let me know that I shouldn't even try. The escorts then put the keys and the remote onto a hook on the back of the door and left. It was a few minutes before Ms.V came for me. To my surprise she brought with her a female slave and Faith. Faith was informing Ms. V in front of me what she could and could not do. Luckily, caning and whipping were out but unfortunately not much else. Faith knelt down and kissed me on the forehead through the bars.

'Be a good boy now!'

With that she left.

'Don't worry, he will be!'

Ms. V was a very skillful woman she had me out of the cage and across the spanking bench so quickly it nearly made my eyes water. Most of the rest of the night was a blur. I know that I either disobeyed Ms. V or was too slow for her as I was jolted more times that night than in the whole of the last week. I also know I passed out because I was woken by a jolt from my collar administered by Faith.

'So did you enjoy yourself?'

 

Later that night Faith explained that she wanted to see how much I could take and was watching the whole time. I was commended for my stamina and told that I did well. That night I even got to eat from the table instead of from a dog bowl. I was also told that tomorrow there would be a surprise for me. And boy would it be a big one!

 

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