SEVEN
Jillian
It was dark when Bill finally let me crawl out from under the desk.
I was filthy and smelling of feet, but he did not care as I struggled to get to
my feet. My tongue was dry, parched, and my mouth felt chapped. Sandra smiled
as I swayed on my feet between them.
"Be back Wednesday, eight a.m.," he said as he opened one of the cash drawers
stacked on the shelves. He pulled out a twenty and stuffed it down the front of
my pants with a grin.
"You'll start your regular duties then, but there's always a chance for
overtime." Bill laughed, and Sandra did too as soon as she got the joke. I
hung my head, licking my lips as my skin flushed red again. How embarrassed
could I get?
"Go!" he commanded, but as I turned he made me pause.
"What do you say, boy?"
"Thank you, sir..."
"That's better," he laughed. "See you Wednesday."
The door slammed shut behind me like a gun, and I raced forward, rushing for the
doors. I had to get away. I heard Tammy and Linda shouting after me, but they
were too late and I was half way across the parking lot before I slowed and felt
a little safe.
I was tired and miserable as I started my long walk home. It was still somewhat
warm out, a cool breeze just kicking up and rustling the fallen leaves in the
gutter. I was stiff and sore from my time beneath Bill's desk, and my tongue
hurt from all the licking.
I tried to ignore my aches and pains as I hurried along, picking up my pace. I
had to get home and call Beth-
"Hey Mister! Spare some change?"
I winced to hear the voice, picking up my pace even more. I heard footsteps
behind me, rushing to catch up.
"C'mon, man? Gotta dollar?"
I saw a young black woman jog up beside me, quickly falling into step at my
side. She was pretty, a little younger than me- probably in her late teens-
with a slim figure and her dark hair tied high in a fluffy knot atop her head.
She flashed me a bright smile-
"Jus' a quarter, man, c'mon. Can't spare a quarter?"
"I don't have a quarter," I said, wishing she would just go away. She didn't
though, hurrying to get in front of me, blocking my path and forcing me to slow
and finally stop.
"A dime then," she said forcing a smile. "Give me anything you gots."
That was it. An order. I dipped my hand into the front of my pants and pulled
out the twenty that Bill had stuffed down there. I held the crumpled bill out
to her and saw her eyes grow wide. She snatched it out of my hand though,
stuffing it into her pocket before I could change my mind as she looked me up
and down. She wrinkled her nose as her gaze fell on my collar and she tilted
her head, her dark eyes narrowing.
"What's that smell?" she asked first, then looked closer at my dog collar. She
reached for it but I stepped back-
"Hold still," she said, and I did as she reached up and fingered my dog tags,
licking her lips. She eyed me queerly-
"You a punk or somethin'?"
I looked about, wishing I was home- wishing even that Beth would appear and
rescue me. She jerked my collar, forcing me to look at her again-
"Answer me, boy! You ain't no punk. Why you wearin' a collar?"
"I'm..." I hung my head, "I'm a dog..."
The girl snorted, then laughed out loud. I felt her cool fingers curling
tighter about my thin collar. "What the fuck does that mean?" she asked with a
wide grin, leaning in and snagging my dog tag with her free hand. "Who's Beth?
That your girl?"
I nodded and she slapped me across the face. It hurt and my eyes went wide with
surprise. "You answer me when I ask you a question, boy!" she snapped, shaking
my collar. I don't know if she knew what was going on, but she definitely knew
that I would not fight back and was more than willing to take advantage of that
fact. Why was everyone so easily cruel?
"Is-that-your-girl?" she repeated slowly as though I was stupid. I nodded
again-
"Yes, ma'am..."
"Ma'am?" she laughed again. "You sure are proper, for a white boy anyway. Now
suppose you tell Jillian jus' what the fuck is goin' on?" She jerked my collar
again, shaking me until I started talking. She had not been specific, so I told
her the basics hoping that would be enough. She was looking me up and down
throughout my edited tale, licking her lips as I told her how Beth had made me
her dog and how I had to obey her. She held me tightly at the throat, but I
could not tell if she believed me or not, though she seemed fascinated.
"So..." she said after I finished my story, "So your girlfriend collared you an'
made you her dog an' now you do whatever she says?"
"Yes, ma'am..." hanging my head and looking at her dirty black sneakers. I
hoped she would end this soon, but-
"Jus' what SHE says?" she giggled, leaning closer, "or are you a good doggie?"
"Im... " I swallowed, "I'm a good doggie." Jillian laughed.
I felt her grip on my collar tighten again as she looked me over, then she
stepped back a step. "Sit!" she commanded and I dropped to my knees at her
feet.
The black girl stared at me, obviously intrigued but still holding on. "Beg!"
she said, and I tried to bow down, choking.
She released her grip on my collar and shuffled back, obviously surprised. She
had probably expected me to sit up and wag my tongue, raise my hands limply, but
I had learned different. I prostrated myself, begging-
"Please... Please..."
I heard her laugh. "Shit..." she squatted down and grabbed a handful of my
hair, pulling my head up to look me in the eyes. She was grinning madly,
evilly...
"You are a good doggie, boy," she said chuckling. She shoved my head down to
the dirty sidewalk and stood. "So good I bet your mommy'd pay a little ta get
you back, hunh?" I looked up, shaking my head.
"She doesn't care..."
Jillian smirked, looking down at me groveling in the dirt at her feet. She
looked sexy to me then and there, like all the others. She was domineering in
her tight jeans and black leather sneakers, her yellow sports top showing off
her slick, dusky skin. God I wanted her. I wanted to get away...
"Bet she does," she sneered, looking around for a moment. "Stay!" she said as
she trotted over to the gutter and I saw her bend down and fish something out.
It was a long strand of filthy white packing twine. She turned back to me with
a wide grin and jogged back, squatting down by my head. I could smell the worn
leather of her sneaker as she knotted the cord about the metal leash ring in my
collar.
"We're gonna go for a walk, doggie. Then I'm gonna give your 'Beth' a call an'
see what she says." I felt her hand snake into my back pocket, fishing out my
wallet. Jillian stood and stepped back, wrapping the cord about her tiny fist
as she started thumbing through the worn leather wallet. She frowned to find
the money pocket empty and the plastic slots as well. Beth had taken my ATM
card that first night, and my credit cards as well. Still, Jillian folded my
wallet and stuffed it into her own tight pocket before flicking my impromptu
leash and giving it a couple quick jerks-
"Heel!" she said grinning again and started off as I scrambled to all fours and
started to crawl after her. After a few steps she stopped though and laughed at
me.
"Get up, stupid. I ain't got all night."
I did as she said and she started off again, tugging on the makeshift leash
occasionally to keep me in pace. I hurried to keep up, not wanting to make her
mad, following along like a... good doggie as she led me down a few side
streets. After a couple blocks I realized just where we were headed and I
moaned.
I was fucked...
***
Jillian led me into a run-down section of town. It had never really been nice-
at least not in my lifetime, and over the last few years it had gotten worse.
In a larger city it would have been called the Projects as most of the houses
and low three and four story buildings were government subsidized apartments.
Most of the people living in the area were Latino families; the wives and
children of the seasonal workers that spent the better part of the year
traveling up and down the coast following the harvesting of crops. There was a
growing black population though as well, and unwed white mothers out of work and
welfare families of every shade and size.
The buildings were not that old but were in disrepair for the most part, weather
beaten and the like. The sidewalks were cracked and the streets were full of
potholes. The gutters were overflowing with sodden leaves and garbage, black
plastic bags lining the streets waiting for removal the next day I assumed,
though some we passed smelled rank and looked as though they had been there
awhile.
And there were people. Jillian didn't seem concerned in the least as she tugged
me along the street. She ignored the stares and pointing fingers, the laughter
that followed in our wake but I was flaming red with embarrassment, trotting
along with my head down. Everyone we passed obviously saw what was happening,
but no one made a move to help me, and most of them whistled and laughed or
yelled out at me-
"Hey, Jillian! Who's your friend?"
"Where'd you get the white boy, Jilly?"
"Does he do tricks?"
And worse...
Jillian just laughed through most of it, answering some of those that she
obviously knew with a joke and tugging on my leash. She turned another corner
and headed across the street, heading for a small grocery store near the middle
of the block. There was a group of teens in our way however, out in the middle
of the street shooting a basketball into a carved up milk crate they had affixed
to a telephone pole. Jillian headed straight for them, and when they finally
noticed us their game stopped and they gathered, blocking our way.
"Hey, Jill," the tallest of the group said, stepping forward and looking first
at her with obvious lust, then sneering at me with a queer look. He was
probably the oldest of the group of four, though younger than me; a big black
kid about my height but in much better shape. He, like the others was dressed
in baggy jeans and sweaty tee shirts from their game. There were two other
blacks in the group, the fourth a small, chubby Latino.
"'Sup girl? What'chu about?" the tall boy asked now openly smirking at me. His
friends were circling, looking me up and down.
"My business, Joel," Jillian said with some arrogance. "Same as you should be."
The others laughed at their friend getting 'dissed' and staggered about as
though it was too funny. Joel frowned at first, then grinned widely.
"Cool... cool. This your new fella?" he asked, reaching out to flick my leash.
"Figures you'd get some dog- can't get a man." The friends burst out laughing
again, and though I continued to blush, Jillian paid them no mind, directing her
anger at the leader-
"Fuck off, Joel 'for you play your dumb ass. If you was a real man, maybe I
wouldn't be lookin' uptown for some fun." The laughter increased as Joel's
friends pointed and howled. I could see a small crowd gathering to see what was
happening, little knots of people scattered along the street. Joel noticed too,
and he did not look happy.
"Maybe I'll jus' kick yer white boy's ass, bitch. Show you whatta man I am-"
"Shit, nigga," she hissed, stepping right up in his face, unafraid. "You
couldn't kick no ass if it was stuck on your foot. Now git outta my way an' go
play with your boy friends!"
"Fuckin' cunt! I ought'a learn you some respect!"
"So who's stoppin' ya?"
I saw Joel rear back, his arm winding around to slap the girl and something just
snapped. I shoved forward, pushing Jillian aside and slamming my fist right
across Joel's chin. There was a loud 'crack' with the impact and the boy's head
spun sideways, spittle and blood shooting from his mouth. He staggered off
balance and tumbled to the ground with a thud.
There was a sudden, deathly silence and as I looked around I saw that everyone
seemed frozen, staring at the scene. Joel was shaking his head, down but not
out, feeling in his mouth as I must have broken a tooth. I looked at my still
balled up fist and saw that my knuckle was bleeding as well. I looked to
Jillian.
She still held my leash and was staring at me with a dazed, incredulous look.
Her mouth was open in a silent 'O' as she looked, unbelieving. The tension
quickly broke however as we heard Joel moan and glanced to him.
Anger twisted his face as he glared at us- at me. Blood pooled at the corner of
his mouth, and I could see the swelling already-
"Mutha..." he cursed, struggling to rise and I heard his friends starting to
move forward.
"Boy..." Jillian whispered, her voice suddenly sounding timid. "You done it
now..."
I swallowed, stumbling back as Jillian tugged on my leash, trying to lead me
away. Where we were going to go I had no idea. No way I could outrun the kids.
They were all shouting now, flexing as they swaggered forward, out for blood-
Everything froze again as we all heard the ratchet of a shotgun's pump. Jillian
kept pulling me along, towards the grocery store as the gang stopped just a few
feet away, trying to stare me to death.
I glanced over and saw an older Latino man holding a sawed off and standing at
the curb in front of the store. He looked at Jillian as she maneuvered behind
him, then gave me a curious stare before turning back to the teens.
"Go home, Chicas," he said casually waving the gun in their general direction.
"It's all over."
"Be over when I kick that-"
"You come any closer, boy, an' I WILL blow you away. Tell the cops you was
tryin' ta rob me. Who they gonna believe, hunh? Ain't no one likes you 'round
here, Joel- cept that bunch- an' they're useless shit jus' like you. Nobody on
this block wouldn't back me. Cops know you not welcome in my store too."
Joel licked his lips, looking from the man to his gun, and then to his friends
who were suddenly a good distance back. The teen realized he was suddenly alone
and now the new center of attention. Still, he could not back down without a
fight-
"You dead, white boy! Y'hear? I'm gonna bust you up! You too ol' man! An-"
"Shut your stupid hole, boy, an' git home!" The man raised his gun higher, now
aiming straight at Joel's groin and finally the boy got the hint. He snorted
and flipped the three of us his finger before turning and rolling up to join his
friends. They looked back as they headed off, watching to see what we would do,
and finally drifted around the corner. The man sighed and lowered his gun,
wiping sweat from his face as the crowd started to disperse. A few people
shouted out cheers of encouragement to the man, but when he turned to face us I
could see that he was pale and shaking from adrenaline. He frowned, pointing at
the open doorway-
"Git your ass inside, girl." Jillian jumped, actually squeaked a bit but did as
she was told, tugging me along behind. The man followed and went behind the
counter where he slipped the gun before grabbing a handkerchief and wiping down
his face. Finally he stared at the two of us.
"What's wrong with you, girl? You know that boy's one step outta jail. Why you
even talk to his stupid ass, let alone give 'im lip? You're lucky he don't beat
you good."
"Wasn't my fault," Jillian said. "He rolled up on me actin' all he-man. Can't
jus' let it slide, y'know?" The man smirked, shaking his head-
"Yeah, I know. But you watch yer ass. He's gonna be pissed now, lookin' to get
his pride back. You steer clear."
"I will... an' thanks."
The man smiled, then as though remembering that I was there turned his attention
to me. He looked me up and down as his smile disappeared, eyeing my collar and
leash for the first time.
"What the hell are you supposed to be?" he asked, but before I could answer he
turned back to Jillian-
"What are you playin' at, girl? You aren't doin' anything you shouldn't be,
hunh?"
"No!" Jillian almost shouted, getting his inference and waving him off. "Jus a
little fun, y'know? Jus a game. Ain't nothin'."
"Uh-huh..." The man stared at me again and smirked like he had seen it all
before. Shaking his head, he sighed. "I don't know nothin'. An' I don't wanna
know nothin'. You take your... white boy upstairs. Go the back way an' keep it
down." I had thought for a moment that I was going to be rescued, but the man
simply ignored me, pulling a bottle of Malta from under the counter and popping
the top.
"Thanks, Mister Gonzalez." Jillian smiled warmly at the man and started to walk
away, tugging on my leash. I backed up a bit, but hesitated-
"Thank you, sir..." I said, but the man just waved me off with a chuckle as
Jillian ordered me to heel.
***
Jillian led me through a heavy fire door and then up an old, rickety stairwell.
The halls were fairly clean but I noticed that the paint on the walls was
peeling and the stairs creaked under our weight. She paid the surroundings no
mind however as she jogged up the steps, fishing a small ring of keys from her
front pocket and turned onto the first landing. I saw the stairs continued up
at least one more floor.
Jillian stopped before the first of two doors and started to slide keys into
locks. There were four of them; the door's original, two dead bolts and a
centered one that I recognized as a slide bar. She looked back at me and smiled
sweetly as she went about her task.
"Thanks for defending me out there," she said softly. "I wasn't expectin' that-
an' it was damn stupid. Joel could'a beat the shit outta ya. He's crazy too."
"So I gathered," I said and she chuckled. "He was going to hit you."
"I been hit before."
"I- I couldn't..." She smiled again, shoving the door open with her foot and
shoulder-
"Thanks..."
The moment was over as she dragged me inside, shutting and locking the door
behind us. "It's me, Momma," she shouted out as she looped the end of my leash
around the doorknob and ordered me down on my knees-
"Bout time, girl." I heard an older woman's voice come from the left, what I
assumed to be the living room. Straight-ahead was the kitchen I saw, steam
rising from the stove and making the air stifling and humid. A short hall led
off to the right, and again I assumed the bedrooms and bathroom with a closet
just off the entryway. The apartment appeared clean but cluttered, a mixture of
blues and whites as the theme. There were threadbare rugs over most of the
hardwood floors except for the kitchen that I could see was layered with cracked
linoleum.
"What was all that outside before?" the other voice asked as Jillian patted my
head and ordered me to stay before trotting off to the adjoining room.
"Hold on, Momma..."
I knelt there listening as I heard Jillian explaining what had happened outside.
Then she went into an explanation about me and I heard her voice drop to a
hushed, rushed whisper. The other woman's voice rose and fell with confusion
throughout, mostly gasping and sputtering the occasional 'what' or 'why',
repeating Jillian's name. I sagged, depressed and not seeing any light at the
end of this tunnel.
I heard a muffled music coming from the bathroom and then heard the shower
running as I listened more closely. There was someone else in the apartment
then, though who I had no idea; sister or brother, husband? There was a fish
tank on a small table there in the hall as well, so I stared at that while I
waited, watching the fish swim about the bubbling water. They had more freedom
than I did, confined as they were.
Jillian came trotting back to me all too soon, wearing a big grin as she undid
my twine leash from the doorknob. Once undone she looped it in her tiny fist
and drew it taut, looking down at me sternly-
"You be good," she said, "or Momma's gonna toss you out on yer ass, an' then
Joel an' his gang'll kick the shit outta ya. Understand?" She jerked the
leash-
"Yes, ma'am," I said, hanging my head and she giggled.
"Good boy. Now c'mon, heel!"
Jillian turned and walked back towards the other room keeping me on my knees and
crawling behind on a short leash. Once inside she stopped and I knelt just
behind her legs, staring at her feet as she struck a pose and patted my head.
"See, Momma," she sniggered and I heard a gasp from across the room. "Our own,
personal white boy, doggie." Jillian's pat turned into a gentle slap upside my
head. "Say 'hi' to my mother, boy!"
I looked up then and saw an older black woman lying on a plush sofa, her back in
the corner and her legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles. She was
probably fifty at least, and must have been pushing two hundred pounds. She had
on an old, blue dress that hung to her knees and a scruffy pair of darker house
slippers. Her breasts were huge...
"Hello, Ma'am..."
"My... god..."
I watched as she pushed a thin wire-framed pair of glasses up her nose to better
stare at me. There was a TV tray beside the long sofa that she eased aside as
it was blocking her view. Her dark eyes and mouth were almost comically wide as
she shifted her gaze from me to her daughter.
"My god..." she repeated, then to her daughter, "You weren't kidding. What...
What is this?"
"I told you, Momma. I found him on my way home. His girlfriend keeps him like
a dog!" Jillian grabbed my collar with excitement to show her mother, ignoring
my sudden gasp. My dog tags jangled as she shook me, reminding me again of my
place. "See?"
"That's bull!" the old woman snapped. "Ain't no real man gonna let himself be
kept like a dog-"
"Not unless he wants it," Jillian said. "An' he does! He didn't even try ta
get away- an' he gave me twenty bucks when I asked."
"Prob'ly thought you were a whore," the woman said with a grin. "He prob'ly
pays big to be treated like this. Ain't never seen no white man from the West
Side didn't pay for it." I saw the mother hold out her hand and Jillian sighed
before pulling the crumpled twenty from her tight jeans and handing it over.
The mother tossed the bill on the TV table and stared at me again.
"That right, boy? You payin' my daughter for all this? What, you think she's
gonna suck you off?"
"No, ma'am," I said. "She asked me for money so I gave it to her. I just want
to go home."
"No ma'am... shit," she said, mocking me. "You do got a line, boy. YOU tell me
everything what's goin' on now, an' no lies or so help me I'll stripe your white
ass."
I sighed, and told my tale again, start to finish. I left nothing out this
time, hoping that the older woman would take pity on me, or at least have a
sense of right and wrong. She could not fall into all of this like the rest- or
so I hoped. She was simply shaking her head and smirking as I finished my
story.
"See, Momma?" Jillian said. She was sitting on the arm of the sofa, kicking her
crossed leg right in front of my face. "I told ya. He wants to be a dog."
"Sounds more like this 'Beth' got him wrapped round her finger. I dunno 'bout
no hypnosis or nothin', but she got him jumpin' through her hoops, that's for
sure. I think we better call her- tell her to come get him."
"Oh, c'mon..." Jillian whined. "Can't we keep him?"
"Jesus Christ, girl! Are you insane? You don't think his girl's called the
police?" Jillian looked at me-
"No, Momma," she said with a grin. "I don't think his 'Beth' wants no cops
involved. Would you?"
"I guess not," the older woman said after a minute. "Still, we can't keep him.
Damn girl we can hardly feed ourselves."
"But he won't eat much, an' he can do all the work around here-"
"No," the old woman said, and that was apparently that. "Now don't be foolish
an' give me his wallet. I'm gonna call this Beth an' get her to come get him."
I saw Jillian sigh, but she did as she was told and dug my wallet from her back
pocket. Her mother glared for a moment, then started thumbing through the
contents.
"No money?" Jillian shook her head.
"Like I said. No credit cards or nothin'. Jus' the twenty."
"James Edward Martin..." the mother said, reading from my driver's license. "I
knew a Betty Martin when I worked for the school district. She lived at this
address or there abouts as I recall." I recalled that I had never gotten my
license updated and it still showed my old address from where I had grown up.
"She your mother?" I nodded-
"Yes, Ma'am..."
"Now what would she think to see you here on your knees like this?"
"She's dead, ma'am," I said, my voice catching. "Both my parents, died in a car
wreck two years ago now." The old woman sighed-
"That's too bad. Your Momma was a real nice lady. A good soul..."
"Thank you..."
The woman rattled off phone numbers then, asking who they were and I answered.
I had just admitted to Beth's number when we all jumped at a gasp from the
doorway.
I glanced back to see a short, young woman staring at me. She looked a bit like
Jillian, but where Jillian was probably five and a half feet, this slightly
younger version was not even five feet tall. She had long, straight black hair
and probably a pretty face except that it was slack with shock to see me
kneeling on her living room floor.
"Wha... Wha..." she stammered and I had to smirk, getting used to the reaction.
She looked cute in her confusion, fresh from her shower and dressed in checkered
boxer shorts, sports bra and rubber thongs. Jillian rushed to her side and
escorted her- dragged her from the room. I heard a flurry of rushed whispers as
Jillian explained in the hallway.
"I'm gonna call your girlfriend- tell her to come get you. We can't keep you
here, much as Jilly wants to. It ain't right. I don't care what you all do,
but it don't got nothin' t'do with us."
"Please..." I moaned as she picked up the phone. "Just let me go. I'll leave-"
"No," she said, frowning as she shook her head. "You got yourself into this,
an' I ain't getting' you out. You want'a play 'dog' with your girl, that's your
business. I got no problems what you do. You get yourself free though." She
smirked and started dialing, watching me as she listened, waiting for Beth to
pick up-
"Hello," she finally said. "This is Rose Davis... I- I've got your boyfriend
here...
"No, my daughter brought him home, but...
"No, he's fine, but..."
I watched as the woman listened, nodding to herself and staring down at me. I
could only imagine what Beth was telling her. I heard the two girls re-enter
the room then, Jillian standing right at my side while her sister sat on the end
of the couch and stared at me with fascination-
"Well, I think you should come get him... No, he ain't no problem but...
Really?" The older woman gasped and I saw her lick her lips. By now I knew
what that meant.
"Well, I suppose... Yes, we can do that, but... He does? He will? I don't...
Well, all right. I'll see you tomorrow then. Good bye."
I looked up in despair as the mother dropped the receiver back into its cradle
and set the phone aside. She looked at me long and hard, then looked to her
daughters-
"Apparently Miss Beth can't come over until tomorrow... after noon sometime.
She says we should keep her boy, and make him earn his keep until she comes
round." The mother- Rose shook her head and frowned but I saw both Jillian and
her sister light up at that news.
"Really?"
Rose nodded. "She says he loves to work, an' he'll do whatever we tell him to.
Is that right, boy?" she asked, staring hard at me. I nodded-
"Yes, ma'am..." She sighed.
"I won't deny there's stuff needs doin' around here. It just don't seem right,
but I ain't gonna fight it. Put him to work, Jilly."
Jillian cheered and clapped as did her sister- who I eventually learned was
called Tasha. Jillian stepped forward and gathered my leash in her hand again,
her sister right on her heels-
"C'mon, boy. You can start by cleanin' the kitchen an' servin' us dinner." She
jerked on the leash and I choked but started to crawl after her, Tasha walking
at my side. Like I said, I was fucked...
Again...
